How to date without going crazy: walking the razor's edge

Modern dating can be a frustrating, disappointing, and crazy-making experience. In this episode, I share my trick for participating in the sexual marketplace without succumbing to rage or despair: high hopes and low expectations. The idea is to enter into the timeless present and surrender the realization of the smallest next possible step. This also increases your attractiveness by showing up as present and engaged. It takes some practice, but it's worth doing.

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Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world.

#psychology #dating #relationship

[psychacks]

Modern dating can be a frustrating, disappointing, and crazy-making experience. In this episode, I share my trick for participating in the sexual marketplace without succumbing to rage or despair: high hopes and low expectations. The idea is to enter into the timeless present and surrender the realization of the smallest next possible step. This also increases your attractiveness by showing up as present and engaged. It takes some practice, but it's worth doing.

Buy my book, "The Value of Others"

Book a paid consultation:


Social Media




Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community:

Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com

Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world.

#psychology #dating #relationship

[DPPB]

"I expect nothing and I'm still let down." - Bart Simpson

[breatheliveandthrive]

As what one U.S marine said: " I don't waste my time worrying.I spend most of my time preparing."

[gwenstefanirockx]

Disappointment only exists in the space between expectation and reality.

[ssfourvegeta]

You basically have to destroy your own ability to pair bond in order to continue dating in the modern world so you don't repeatedly get hurt. It's either death by a thousand cuts or complete emotional disengagement. Dystopian nightmare

[tusharrockss]

Orion, please never stop uploading. Your videos help a lot.

[Hdhfhhdh]

One of my professor from grad school would always say “ Underpromise and over deliver”. Till this day I always had followed his advice regardless the situation

[marsmendo]

I noticed all the dates i’ve been on with girls I’m attracted to but not too emotionally invested have been phenomenal. Whereas if I have an agenda (relationship), I behave differently, and I could tell they lose a bit of interest bc of it.

My point: having a strict agenda (which might even be subconscious) will cause you to behave differently, losing her attraction to you. Just have fun and be two consenting adults that enjoy each other’s company.

Don’t be bitter. Best of luck to all.

[williamtudyjr]

Managing Expectations. Make sure you are doing an activity you already enjoy and ask her if she’ll like to join.

[steveos]

I tried a few dating sites 4 months ago. I am blown away how women can’t seem to put 3 words together to hold a conversation. Or God forbid they ask a question of interest about you. Women are great communicators? Umm no.

[BerniceCole]

This video is so refreshing. I’ve been trying to distract myself after my breakup it’s still so fresh. We were together for seven years, and he ended things out of nowhere. I can’t stop thinking about him. I still feel like he’s the only one for me

[FirstLast-cdvv]

Men of value don't tolerate childish games from anyone.

[LinusWilson]

I love the cadence of the prose at 6:00. “Just because you got laid, don’t expect to see her again.” Yep. That is about right… it’s not just dudes who are often shallow.

[sgbawg]

This is the approach I use when job hunting. You have to. Its the only way to make it thru the process.

[rexnakoki]

Dear man,
It's her mind-set that will raise your children.
Not her good looks.
So choose your wife wisely.

[sandlerfrancois]

This applies to ALL interactions. Social and Business. Well done Doc!

[freshfalcon]

Never in the history of relationships has it been more important to avoid any and all attachment.

[mojekonto]

This is the approach I use when going to parties ;) I have absolutely no expectations and usually have a really good time!

[RafaelW]

"Expect nothing and be happy" - basically what this video boils down to

I recently met this beautiful young woman. The vibe was instant, we hit it off so well. She said shit like "you're the Ross to my Rachel". And then just suddenly stopped. Ghosted without any reason. I really hate this. Just give me a reason, whatever it is, I'll accept it.

[sergd]

If we expect nothing from anybody, we don’t feel courage, and have no sense to spend time with them.