I live alone in a mountain barn.

As a tired wanderer, this video was the most important one for me.
" I live alone in a mountain barn ": the very one I've been waiting to create for so long. I dreamt about this for months, me sharing my slow mountain life with you, wolves.
I was so sure this video would be the springboard my channel needed. Why? I'll be frank. Simply because watching my youtube views going down every single day, was eating at me.

Last night, when I saw my poor video stats, I reached a breaking point. I was so blinded by my tears, I couldn't see where the error was. I just couldn't wrap my mind around WHY. Why does this dream-like video is not interesting people? So I put myself in someone else's shoes and watched my own video again, with different eyes. It didn't take long for me to realise that something was off.
Despite all my labors and efforts to create a Wow video, as I was watching the last minutes, something just felt very wrong.

So I reached out to the most important person in my life, asking for his light. Asking him to be honest and raw, and tell me what on earth is wrong with my videos? And I got it. I've been trying so hard to create those perfect-inspiring-poetic-spiritual-authentic videos, that I lost sight of what the most important, actually is. I got so obsessed in making exceptional films, I forgot what you, what people really want to see.
A normal girl sharing what she does in a day, why does she do it, and how it makes her feel.

Living out of YouTube, is the most complicated thing I've ever been aiming for. And maybe I got it all wrong once more. Maybe my videos perform badly because they lack of something else.
But I'm learning. As you might be doing too, I read the messages Life send me, and I try. To adjust, to adapt what isn't working, what feels wrong.

I thank you with all my heart to have read this through. I deeply needed to share my behind the scenes with you all.
If you have any suggestions, anything you would like me to share in future videos, please let me know in the comment section. This would really, sincerely help, so don't be afraid to offend me :)

Dear Tribe, your support means so much more than you know. I'm sending you all my honest love, because yes, Love is the only thing that heals all wounds.

A bientôt, in a more simple, purer video.

Vanille ♡

♫ 𝐌𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐜 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦:
(Get a free trial with my link)

[blackhole_jb]

Being an introvert and hardly on social media, I usually don't comment on much I come across.
After watching all your past videos, I find I can't but help to say a few words.
If it was the videography alone, you should have a million views. The amount of time that you must put in to produce such beautiful stories is hard to comprehend. There isn't any filler or bad shots in any of your videos!
But it's not just about the quality of the videos. What makes your work so meaningful is the sheer vulnerability and honesty you can't help but show. You are truly an authentic woman in a world of superficiality. I am drawn to your stories more than I can say. They are poetry.
In the end, you have a way of making people care about you and your journey. I'm sure many people have offered to help but I'm sure it's not necessarily how you see yourself.
I admit I was getting concerned for you a couple videos ago, but life has it's way of testing those who it knows can persevere.
Je t'adore, Vanille.

[promitamondal]

Its so good to see a woman doing everything alone, all by herself, and embracing the solitude instead of feeling bad about it. Im tired of seeing men and nonsense people everywhere. I want to live in mountains as well.

[Fazzino_Tattoo]

As an architect, artist, and most importantly a human being... I deeply respect and admire you... I thank you for this piece of audiovisual art, from the bottom of my heart.

[michelraulconfuse]

each of us wants to get out of the system, get out of the frame, get out of what they put into our heads since we were little - YOU MADE IT ❤❤❤
YOU ARE BIGGEST INSPIRATION

[bladesmilitariauk]

What a wonderful sanctuary you have achieved dear Verdant. I would love to meet a lady like yourself & marry her, then work to establish & flourish in that environment & self-sufficient mindset. I possess much of the horticulture & self-sustaining skills required but there exist stubborn social, societal & financial constraints that are holding me back. I strive to escape the rat race & start living life the way I was meant to, with my soulmate that I am yet to meet!

[kflecha]

I’m so happy for her ❤ 🎉 now she can continue making her magical videos from her place ❤

[Mariskah]

Wonderful video, thank you! I too live alone in the mountains, here in Norway. I own a homestead. My dream that was realized just 6 months ago. It's so great to see more women following their dream! You are an inspiration!

[Niikki]

New subscriber here and I too suffer from OCD which cost me jobs and missing out on celebrations due to being late for everything. I’d compulsively primp myself and my place before I’d leave the house. I left the rat race in 2017 and the OCD subsequently subsided a lot since a lot of it was driven by anxiety.

[olgaplickova]

Dear Vanille…for many reasons, I am currently stuck living in a big town even though I have a small dwelling (cabin) in my beloved mountains. So you strouggles to live self-sustaining lifestyle in nature are deeply touching for me.
You asked, what we would like to see in your videos and what is wrong with them, my answer is: there is absolutely nothing wrong with them… they are beautiful, deep, raw, strong, fragile, poetic and strictly authentic and true! You share also your dark side and YouTube videos are in my experience mostly sugercoated…
BUT! I cried with relief when I binge-watched all your videos and I am sure there are more of us, many more … so … if you like making these videos, please continue…
I would like to see:
- how you transform your home
- how you excercise (weight lifting?)
- practicalities of your daily life (heating your House, the cost of running it etc.)
- other than that just continue what you already do
Also: you are a poet - you could write a book of thoughts and poetry, that would be lovely … and when you sing! Wow! The raw beauty of it! If you feel like it, you could sing more in your videos…
You truly are a savage daughter of the earth…❤ Thank you!

[strongwithpurpose]

Wow, the abundance of the pomegranate trees is absolutely incredible. (6:09) And the bee on the rosemary! (7:08) Oh, my heart. 💖 What a beautiful lighting creation! (8:33)

[MountainMariner]

Enjoy your mountain home. It appears you do already. I never want to leave mine.

[platonkarataev]

You asked for suggestions. Details! Electric? Mains or battery bank? Water mains or well/spring? What about things people can make? You could show them how? Vanille Makes? People are interested in off grid living, green and sustainable. Solar/wind. You are a born presenter and teacher you could show how? Also try putting 1st name Vanille only. It's friendlier. Blessings for what you have achieved.

[theartistsheart]

This was beautiful. The cottage is lovely and you did such an excellent job making the most of what you have. I hope it is a wonderful creative and restful space for you. 💕

Thank you always for the inspiration.

[Red.Christopher]

Good things come to those who hang on. Vanille if there is one thing I have picked about you through your videos it's that you have a survivor's spirit. And it has paid off. Congratulations on achieving one of your dreams. I couldn't be happier for you.

Not too long ago I discovered Martijn Doolaard's channel. Don't know how it took me so long to come across it. But I am glad I did. If you aren't familiar with his story he is renovating a pair of cabins in the Italian Alps.

When I saw his cabins for the first time I said this! This is what Vanille has been talking about!

And low and behold here you are with your own place in the mountains. It looks to be perfect for you and I'm looking forward to seeing more of it. You also look to be doing better. You look more relaxed and less stressed.

Your and Martijn's channels are my favorites now. They are my cream of the crop for soul soothing content.

I am now firmly making plans for my own small place somewhere. I hope to find it in the mountains surrounded by trees and very few people.

Congratulations on the great news! See you next time.

[adosindaborges]

Beautiful soul!! You're so inspiring...
I also keep on dreaming and realizing my dreams!! Keep on inspiring us! Lots of Love from Portugal! 🙏❤️😘😘🇵🇹

[airdriegirl]

Okay so I had to take 5 minutes to try clear my eyes from tears before I would write this lol, so first I would like to say what an amazing, beautiful home you have created for yourself and you are such an amazing soul and an amazing woman such an inspiration to me and loads of others ☺️ this world is so lucky to have such an amazing soul init, you teach us so much about life and our own life, from 10:55 to the end It felt like you where literally there talking to me one on one and the emotions that was taking over was something else, my eyes just started watering up and it was such an emotional rollercoaster to listen to your story and everything you have achieved and how amazingly far you have come was such a heartwarming experience ❤️ and then asking us if we are doing our best and being better than we where yesterday literally broke my soul and I literally answered you back and then thought wow I need to change a few things about me and my life, you are such an amazing soul and deserve everything. you teach us so much and I have learned a few things about myself and my life since I've been watching you which has been for quite a while ☺️ and I also want to say another amazing video keep being the awesome and amazing soul that you are you deserve the moon and the stars ❤️❤️sorry it may sound all jumbled up I find it hard to explain and put things in words in writing ☺️❤️

[monkeylordx]

I came across this randomly and I’m here to say that this is beautiful

[onestep]

Whats a peaceful and beautiful world are there when i feel tired your video make me smile thankyou so much sharing beautiful video respect a lot 🙏from India

[alro]

I am so happy for you and the work you put up on YT. The cinematography is phenomenal and the production is amazing. Great content direct from your heart. However, getting and retaining subscribers will always be a challenge. In a commercial world of YT, taking your viewers on that extraordinary ride, each and every time becomes essential.

[acerhigh]

I´m so happy for you, what a wonderful house!