Dad Joke Compilation

[zanexavier]

I have a phobia about speed bumps. I'm slowly getting over it.

[petercrawford]

Oh the poor dog who ate the Scrabble tiles 😢 his next trip to the toilet could spell disaster…

[SkippyRo]

My wife asked me if I was even listening to her. I thought that was a strange way to start a conversation.

[PSDJ]

People are always shocked when they find out that I'm actually not a good electrician

[zwhirlwhorled]

I recently got a call from the local authorities who said it was reported that my dogs were seen chasing kids on bikes. But my dogs don't even own bikes.

[cjhoward]

Ok, my son told me one when he was only 4 years old. It was cute. Here it is.
Why do sea gulls live by the sea? Because if they lived by the bay, they’d be bagels 🤪😂

[mellowd]

Everyone's so worried about their TV or smartphones spying on them when, in reality, it's the vacuum cleaner they should be worried about. That's thing has been collecting dirt on you for years.

[faint]

Why did the scarecrow get a promotion. He was outstanding in his field.

[VincenzoRocha]

I own two shirts and some neckwear that used to belong to a guy who was in The Mamas & The Papas. All the sleeves are brown, and the tie is grey.

[RelaxingDisney]

I stayed up all night wondering where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.

[mysticwine]

I hear they will not be making 12 inch rulers any longer....

[sunderwood]

You guys are hilarious 😆 the comments had me cracking up! Thanks for the smiles everybody!

[lancecompton]

I saw two pair of glasses insulting one another. Guess they were making spectacles of themselves..

[BmanTheChamp]

I entered ten puns into a national Dad joke competition, hoping to win the top prize but unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

[deniro]

I identified as a flamingo to my close friends.The abuse I got was so bad, I had to put my foot down.

[hekatoncheiros]

A guy at work fell into the upholstery machine. It’s OK. He’s fully recovered.

[acronus]

The other day, I watched two snails fighting on the sidewalk.
They were really slugging it out.

[michaelh]

Me and my wife was at a motorcycle shop. She said she wanted something that goes from zero to 150 in under 5 seconds. I bought her a bathroom scale.

[thomasdemaio]

Did you hear about the guy who got his left arm and leg cut off? The doctor says he's going to be alright, but the nurse says there's not much left

[stevenaguirre]

I use to be addicted to the Hokey I turned my life around.