Dating After Abuse... Let's Talk

-The National Domestic Violence Hotline
1-800-799-7233 (SAFE)

-National Dating Abuse Helpline
1-866-331-9474
National Child Abuse Hotline/Childhelp
1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453)

-National Sexual Assault Hotline
1-800-656-4673 (HOPE)

-National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
1-800-273-8255 (TALK)

-National Center for Victims of Crime
1-202-467-8700

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[ponderingfrogg]

It’s reassuring to know you will/are raising your boys to never abuse people. I hope the younger generation of boys will be raised to be more compassionate and without toxic masculinity

[joseyyargor]

Can you do a video on how you kept it covered up the whole time you were doing your family channel. How did you make your life look so normal? It would be good to see examples from past videos because everyone seems to say they didn’t know you were going through all that

[DreamsInWild]

Holy shit. This video is really making me realize that I am not as healed as I thought I was. It's been over a decade now, and I thought I had come to terms with the abuse I experienced but so much of what you are talking about is REALLY relatable 😭I genuinely appreciate you making videos like this, it really helps me (and others I'm sure) unravel the damage that abusive relationships do.

[quinlinvandiver]

This has helped me clear my head a little. This is something I definitely needed to hear. I’m a single mom now. I was in a toxic abusive relationship for four years. Counseling does help! I agree!

[aimeeburke]

I didn't even know I was in an abusive relationship with my ex until I finally ended things (after 10 years) and got with my now husband! When my husband says things like "did you have a good time with the girls?" I still can't believe I'm not getting "why did you leave me alone for so long!?". My ex used to make me buy him games every time I got paid, would make me feel guilty whenever I spent money on myself, keeping in mind I was the only one working! He manipulated, and other than the fact he didn't hit or yell at me, I was abused by him in every other way. My husband could not be more different and I am so thankful to have someone I deserve now ❤

Also, I still find it so crazy to believe the crap you went through with your ex! I'm so sorry you went through that, and well done on your healing

[haileerose]

thank you sooo much for making this. gaslighting myself is something I struggle with a lot so its comforting to hear others experience the same. if you feel comfortable, id love more videos like this

[angelamiller]

My struggle: my ex NEVER was loving or wanted to cuddle or just be around me. Touch is definitely my love language and that's just how I show my affection. My new healthy relationship, he cuddles and loves on me but when he doesn't or if he's hot and doesn't wanna cuddle, I feel weight on my chest and immediately start thinking "he doesn't love me anymore"

[nicolepereira]

Alex, i didn’t even know i had triggers or even PTSD until i watched this video. i have sudden lash outs and get so defensive over the “smallest” things and i always thought there was something wrong with me or i had anger management issues. turns out that it is because i was made to feel so small in the past about certain things.

thank you for this video. you have no idea how much this is going to help me and my now healthy relationship ❤️

[annaboyd]

I'm trying to get out of an abusive relationship. I didn't realize financial abuse was a thing until you said it. I've been dealing with abuse for almost 8 years.

[jordanfisher]

I feel this in my soul. I still struggle with flinching any time he touches my face because I’m sure he’ll snap and slap me. Even though he’s never even yelled at me or been mean at all. Because the only time my ex ever touched my face was to make sure I saw him glare at me before hitting me

[tatyanaaguiluz]

definitely the not trusting myself, i’ve honestly never heard it put into words and it brought tears to my eyes. it hurts not knowing if you’re making the right choices

[laurac]

I could just listen to you all day! The way you word things is so fitting!

[jessier]

I'm so happy to see how much you've grown💗 i started watching your vids back when you were pregnant with Greyson and I myself was in an abusive relationship. Now I've been in a healthy, happy relationship for over 2 years and altho it was a struggle at first with triggers, ive slowly been able to heal and really trust my partner. I'm so happy to see you're healing too😊. It's what we deserve💪💗

[tamaraziz]

My partner and I have 4 years together. Even with a healthy relationship our separate mental health struggles can cause a lot of anxiety and stress. Often times we ask each other just for some verbal reassurance that everything is oki and we are still loved. Sometimes it’s so helpful

[genknowles]

I'm struggling with the end of a relationship. I keep trying to pinpoint a moment where things went downhill and I am second guessing every interaction between us, trying to find a moment where things changed for him but didn't change for me. It's tough but the silver lining is that I have rediscovered my support system and reconnected to friends and people from my past that I felt like I didn't have the social bandwidth to see as all my energy had gone into our relationship. Still trying to come to terms with it and work out what went wrong but it is a journey and I'm looking forward to my next chapter of life :)

[ophilliaber-lynn]

My most abusive relationship has been with my family and has left me feeling as though everyone is always out to get me even from my husband of 10 years who has genuinely done nothing but given me the space, time, comfort, love and safety to find out who I am, heal and begin to trust again... Healing isn't linear so try not to be hard on yourself if you feel like you've "taken a step back".. Everything is a lesson to be learned 👁️✨💜

[magicalmakayla]

I’ve never personally been in an abusive relationship, but I’ve watched my mom go through dozens of them while my mom was abusing me and my sister. Im currently in my first relationship (2 and a half years strong) but I don’t think that I will ever fully stop analyzing and just trusting that he’s not toxic and abusive, even though I know he’s not, but I will not just trust myself to know for myself. I’m constantly asking people what they think of situations because I feel like I need validation from others. It all sucks and I can’t even tell when I’m doing it because this is my first relationship and I don’t have personal experience with it in a romantic way

[charliel]

This is a very good video! I feel the same thing for so many thing since my abusive relationship. It's so hard to trust in general. I am so over sensitive since getting back in to dating.

[amandadavis]

I’ve never been this early ive been watching since grey was like 1 and I have always loved watching your videos you are such a kind spirit ❤️ so glad you left a toxic situation and I wish nothing but the best for you & the kiddos. Love you and keep posting as much as you feel comfortable with!

[brittanymatter]

I went through 12 years in and out of an extremely emotionally and physically abusive relationship. I suffer from really bad PTSD because of it. I can't even hear people arguing without getting triggered. being told I'm stupid it acting stupid, having doorways blocked off, even an entire genre of music triggers me. one of my worst triggers that sends me into a total panic attack is seeing a vehicle that is the same year, make/model, and color of their car. I was able to get a pfa but that ended in January. I feel bad for my kids because they cannot even go out and play in our backyard without constant supervision or I feel like they will be kidnapped. unfortunately my abuser always seems to get away with literally EVERYTHING, even got away with breaking my PFA and the only "punishment" they received from that was a phone call from a police officer saying to leave me alone. I've been MAJORLY considering moving out of state and leaving all family and friends behind just to give myself and my kids a sense of security and a fresh start. I have an appointment for counseling to start back up in a couple weeks but at this point I feel no matter how much counseling I receive I still just won't feel like we are safe unless we completely move out of state.