'DID MY FAMILY BURN ME OUT?' | 10+ Signs of FAMILY BURNOUT | LIVE CHAT & VIDEO

#trauma #familytrauma
#tamarahilllpc

Burn out is defined as a state of emotional, physical, and psychological distress or emotional exhaustion that interferes with your ability to tolerate prolonged stress.

What happens to you when you feel burned out because of your family's behaviors and attitudes?

Well, there really isn't a term for feeling emotionally spent with one's family. However, for the purposes of this chat, we can use the definition and symptoms of emotional burnout to describe the series of challenges you may have experienced in your own body.

In this live chat and video, I will discuss signs that you may be experiencing burn out in your very own family.

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DISCUSSED IN THIS VIDEO:
0:00 intro
4:04 what burnout is
6:20 family burnout
7:08 signs of family burnout
7:47 a sense of failure
8:10 self-doubt
8:38 learned helplessness
14:15 detachment & aloneness
15:30 loss of motivation
16:08 cynical & negative moods
16:40 loss of sense of belonging
17:15 no sense of accomplishment

*27:22 emotional hangover

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DISCLAIMER:
*Videos are provided for exploration and educational purposes only and does not constitute clinical suggestions or consultation for individual cases.
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----Contact me-------(BUSINESS INQUIRIES ONLY)
I'm Támara, a licensed and internationally/Board certified trauma mental health therapist, with over 14 years experience. I specialize in helping children, teens, and families with mental illness. I also treat psychological/emotional trauma in children, teens, and adults.

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PO BOX 15747
Robinson Township, PA 15244

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[TherapistTamaraHill]

The LIVE CHAT BOX will be available after 24hours! That's always the best part of the chat. Stay tuned!

[chilloften]

It’s the saddest thing to finally realize that as a child, you were abused and surrounded by toxicity.
Especially when your an adult now and finally figure out the BS.
Our worlds are so small and protected, it just cannot be by evil. But it is!
Consider yourself ahead & brilliant if you’ve at least figured it out.

[IndigoRhapsody]

The hot and cold treatment, the “apologies “ and false stability, the contempt they give despite my own efforts to understand and make amends, the avoidance from them after they seem to accept me on holidays but after holidays it’s full blown contempt, the yelling when I’m trying to have a calm discussion, the ignoring for months on end then apologizing to only avoid me again, talking about me behind my back, treating my life choices as if the choices need to be approved by my disdainful family members, the lack of congratulations given to me when I do good things… there’s more. I’m tired of it all and realized through this video I am burnt out and need to cut the relationships to save my emotional well being. Sad when family simply wants to destroy you, even when you’re not at fault and try to be functional with them.

[kimberlydavis]

Yes, Yes, Yes. I've had 7 burnouts taking care of everyone else. I was a caretaker my whole entire life. Now it's time for me to take care of myself.

[ashley-martindunn]

chamomile, lavender, lemon balm, passionflower, all good for anxiety

[Ari-ygiu]

Currently struggling with detachment and aloneness. I don’t want to rebuild relationships or start contacting my family, however, I am learning to navigate through life without them. I definitely feel sad when I see people having family celebrations, because I don’t have that anymore. I am weeks away from birthing twin girls and none of my family has been involved in my pregnancy, it’s been painful to grasp the fact that people who had once been so close to me are now like complete strangers even during my pregnancy. I realized I burned out when my partner asked me how I felt about everything going on, and I hardly had a feeling at all. I feel something between grieving the loss of a family and numbness. It is awful. The worst part is, many times when I had said I wanted to separate myself from them, they’d say “Be careful what you wish for” “God can punish you for saying things like that” “No matter what, you have to be there for your family” “God only blesses people who are good with their families” “Your kids will leave you when they’re older as karma for you leaving your family” etc etc. Lots of fear-based comments. Just hoping for the best through this difficult time.
Edit: Just want to add on that this channel is REALLY helpful with this process! Thank you for your work!

[nancybartley]

What dimensions does burnout take? Is burnout thinking constantly about your family problems, what I did wrong, what I should have done, what I shouldn't have done, how did it get so messed up, why is there no connection, how did we get here, etc? I thought we were supposed to have a bond that created acceptance and willingness to be there for each other. How can my blood hurt me so much. What is so wrong with me that they have no place for me? In a dangerous world, I also thought family was the one safe haven. Cognitive dissonance to the max.

[angelastewart]

Family don’t have to be toxic .. they could just call on you to much & burn you out .. I’m in that circle ⭕️

[Pukeyray]

I think I'm going through this. I started looking into polyvagal theory and polyvagal shutdown.
I think I've cycled a few times in my life. Being family is abusive and high express emotion, if I say I need calm and rest then they'll tell everyone I'm a bum and will actually ramp up the extreme tension and intimidation to break me down and get me in line.
Always felt like Cinderella in my family. It's suffocating and I like to say it feels like they want to baptize me in tar.
They want to induct me into this role of a labotamized maid that they can be cruel to if bored.

[anyways]

Yes, my family burned me out. Knew I was good to come through in times of crisis and TCB. Came through for my family over and over again, yet, there was usually a problem with anyone being there for me. I took this in stride because I knew I was the strongest one, and the oldest. Had my baby brother tell me (10 years younger), who i took care of his first three years of life as well as his last three teenage years, as well as his now wife who also needed a home, that the "problem with you is that you always love other people more than they love you". I really didn't know what to say to that one.

[berniek]

This was truely amazing. Every word is golden. Thank you for putting support and words to this very traumatic issue.

I am healing too. To everyone on this channel - GO BLESS us for a healthy and amazing future ❤️🙏🏼❤️🙏🏼❤️🙏🏼❤️🙏🏼

[CelesteAnise]

Those with healthy parents will never understand. My friend who talks to her family daily for hrs couldn't understand why I don't talk to her all the time. They are very negative and have catastrophic thinking. I moved across the country and built my life over 4 years ago. I found religion to be a prison and I feel free now that I am an atheist. My mom didn't bat an eye when I told her about what my ex was doing to me. They wanted me to stay in the marriage because his family was super wealthy and my parents sometimes had perks from my in-laws and they could brag to the world about it too and make themselves feel better. I was always the black sheep but the mascot for them as well growing up.

[velvetavenger]

It's a pervasive feeling of 'self doubt'
( that you may not even be aware of, but it lingers and colours everything and most interactions too) One day you begin to realise that self doubt is there in the background, along with 'shame' it's best buddy!
Family abuse and family scapegoating abuse, can really mess with your mind, because at some point they may have seemed like they cared about You - Or was that just a sense of duty or responsibility? - not real care or love.
Sometimes they don't seem so bad when you're younger ( depending on your family situation ), because they seem like parents just making the rules of the house. But then later when you're older you realise it's manipulation, coercive control, passive aggressive behaviour, no personal boundaries, no respect, being condescending, arrogant, prideful and very controlling.
All of this is very mentally, emotionally, psychologically and spiritually exhausting and very draining.
Not to mention the added effects of gaslighting.
Long term it's a living hell!
I'm 57 and have ended up
' barely existing' (living) at my dad's house because of limited housing, for nearly three years.


I've lived in different stages of burnout for years, though I can really call it living, more like barely existing, just managing to stay alive. They say that Narcissistic abuse, is like death by a thousand tiny cuts. ( Ive experienced Narcissistic abuse with my ex partner, but also family as well )

[donnaparks]

😥 we should all have had trauma counseling after we got out of foster homes and how to process it all we never stopped experiencing it also went to extended family and on

[flowercreamy]

Been 9 months finally free I was burn out of my mom but I didn't know I was from my whole family I was showing all the signs am happy I find ur channel

[miriamevans]

Yeah, my best friend told me that my family had traumatized me too much. I never want to see or hear from them again I have been no contact for 25 years. The other flying monkey is blocked no contact for a few years. Can't change number at this time. When I hear the msg, I get mad. I try to keep my voice mail full . Narcissists have no self respect. I would be ashamed to be a bother to anyone I Hate that they know where I live. I don't want to move. I am a state away, but I just want to fake my own death to be rid of them. For so long I was a people pleaser. I directly told the flying monkey that I was ashamed of the kindness I had gone out of my way so much. From now on I will show you discust and contempt b/c you earned it. I realized any communication was just fuel, so I stopped wasting my breath. They are hard to get rid of.is it normal Tobe so offended when they try to Hoover. I get so mad at their audacity after the way they treated me. How could you ever even think I would want to see them?

[Onelove]

Wow! Ms. Támara have such good, helpful content! Lord knows I needed this information yearsss ago! Thank God I have it now! This is a Blessing to All of us! Appreciated!❤😊❤

[kimberlydavis]

I had to completely cut out all the unhealthy abusive toxic relationships out of my life for good.

[kimberlydavis]

I went through a lot of what you've been through. Oh believe me I completely understand.

[blank_earth]

Can you make a video about when people and friends invalidate our past family traumas?