Top 3 Signs To Check Your Romantic Compatibility | Relationship Advice & Core Wounds

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How to Repair Any Relationship

In this video, we talk about the top three signs of an incompatible relationship, how to spot them, and what you can do if you find yourself in a place where you don't know whether you should continue in the relationship.

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If you want to listen in, check out Thais' podcast here:

I’m Thais Gibson, welcome to my channel, and thank you for stopping by!

This is a channel designed for you, to be used as a resource to create lasting transformation in your personal and professional life. Here you’ll receive an ongoing series of personal development and spiritual growth videos for you to expand your awareness and find resolution and deep understanding within.

Want to transform your life? If I did it, I know you can too!

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#IncompatibleRelationship #Interdependence #Relationships #RelationshipCommunication #ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool #SettingBoundaries #RelationshipBoundaries #CoreWounds #Narcissism

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[MsGuitars]

Wow … So eye opening what you said about the narcissism spectrum. That is so true, cause if we see it like that we only see certain traits as “desirable” and others are not. Whereas the challenge of love is to extend it beyond our ego and our idea of ourselves, so we can connect from underneath the surface. What it is really about is about seeing our pain points, communicating, making the other person feel seen and understood. That is what love truly is and what invites true growth. Amazing video Thais, just what I needed 🤩

[Katrica]

-acknowledge each other's differences
- make space for the differences
- validate the differences
- compromise with eachother

[Katrica]

#1 differences you're not willing to work on, Not willing to accept (sooo repulsive and beneath you)!
#2 one or both people are Not willing to meet the other halfway, and validate emotions. Respect boundaries! See eachother, hear eachother! Healthy compromise! Exchange of needs!
#3 are we actually resolving issues? Are we growing? Are we moving forward? Are we communicating effectively? Are resolving our pain points?

[lifecoachingtoronto]

I've had first hand experience with someone who didn't value our differences while I saw that as a strength for us as a couple, so I agree that seeing & appreciating each other's differences goes a long way in compatibility. What do you think? :)

[gebronthomasson]

It’s not about changing them but being able to live in one another’s world

[charcoalandlight]

This video meets me exactly where I am. I've been dating a guy for a month or so and he says he values our differences but he doesn't act like he does. We don't have to agree but I feel judged and not appreciated by his words. We can't seem to really move past any of our conflicts and I don't feel heard. He pays lip service but the same things keep surfacing along with the same criticisms of me. We broke up yesterday (my decision) and this video pretty much confirms what I felt about our incompatibility.

[ShimmerSoulSong]

The DA who was beloved to me, she and I recognized our many differences and were amazed at how we found the type of synergy we had. Also the differences were complementary! We both found beauty and appreciation in our differences, we thought it was cool. But there were a few important differences that we needed to work out. And she iced out with those while I was seeking tools that would help us. And I brought them to her and asked her to tend with me and try them. But she didn't want to do her inner work part around Us.

[lisam]

I’ve said this before, you really have been a God sent! The way you explain attachment styles is far beyond anything I’ve ever seen! I’ve been studying them for a little over 2 years and now I’m even helping others including myself (still a work in progress! ). I’m a dating coach. Have been for quite sometime. Just so very thankful that I found you! You have changed my life for the better. THANK YOU!

[cliffordjacobson]

So clear Thais, Communication, compassion or seeing other person acknowledging them, and willingness to do the work… grateful 🙏

[MellowBellow]

So true. Of course most people are compatible in many many levels. Insecure attachment CREATES division and INcompatibility. Negativity bias in safe situations CREATES conflict without resolution “by” the other but ONLY the self FOR the other.

I have to say though Thais. … insecure people GET triggered. They are not triggered BY the other. We need to be REALLY clear about language regarding triggers. Triggers are TINY things ( the backfiring car) that has a FALSE MEANING in the present ( I am going to die from being shot ). The FALSE MEANING is held WITHIN the self, NOT the other ( the driver of the backfiring car is NOT trying to hurt anyone ). …

Insecure attachment creates the FALSE belief that others are trying to hurt us BECAUSE we FEEL hurt. This is the definition of a cognitive distortion and projection.

[ceeceeshaw]

Thought-provoking as always, Thais. Agree about communication and the willingness to meet someone halfway. But I think it is also about values and to be honest, there are just some things one should not be willing to compromise on, like say fidelity or trust. Not narcissistic to be uncompromising on those sorts of things - to do so would be to self-abandon, in my opinion. But perhaps this is what you meant by boundaries and distancing yourself from toxic dynamics? Too often, I see women compromising themselves on these sorts of things just to remain in relationship with someone when really they would be better off just walking away from.

[Mileys_choice]

1000% agreed... if you break it down, arguments tend to occur because that person is desperately trying to be SEEN and feel HEARD! The tones seem to lower once someone shows that validation, and only THEN can they start to get somewhere with whatever the subject matter is.

[lizp]

I absolutely love this video! Coming from an FA/DA perspective- i prioritize autonomy for both myself and my partner. I want to know who they are as an individual and see them as that and not an extension of myself. The ability to show up for one another at their interest level from
Time to time resonates to me as a beautiful balance of autonomy and care and interest for the other. It speaks Interdependence and full respect for who someone else is. It speaks healthy partnership. I don’t want someone at all my hobbies and events, I’m still trying to live a life for my own alongside a partner who lives their own life and we cross paths and passions for growth from time to time. We speak, we communicate, we share, we’re vulnerable. This is compatibility to me too. Ultimately once we speak if there is no resolve then it’s okay to let it go. ❤️ points for this vídeo !!!!

[m_hall]

Absolutely love this. Although I think compatibility within different personality types and attachments is fascinating, there is a lot of truth and wisdom here. I think these three things are often learned over time, and shows maturity within a dating couple. You didn't really touch on the attraction piece, but if it's not necessary a lack of physical attraction, it's usually some form of #2, where there is a lack of appreciation or attraction to the person's differences. Good stuff!

[MsNadineJ]

This is amazing! I tried to talk to my bf recently about exactly this but he just got upset. You articulated everything I've tried to communicate. Thank you so much 💓 I love your channel and your work is so valuable 💗

[pikapoka]

#2 my ex FA was not capable of telling me what his needs were so it was nearly impossible to meet him half-way... So sad and frustrating at the same time :(

[leolady]

Always, always, ALWAYS ... a lot of helpful information!!! ♥️

[mayaleela]

I love your content though I really have to disagree on this video. Of course we need to be willing to move towards each other in ways, accept our differences and be flexible with certain things. But imo compatibility points to how easy it's going to be to stay true to ourselves AND be able to get both our own and our partners needs met in the relationship. So if for multiple important aspects we find ourselves on opposite ends of the spectrum we are simply actually not really compatible. Could we make it work? Yes maybe. Though it'll be hard work & we have to compromise a lot to be able to meet each other. When we are more compatible our most important needs & values lay relatively close to each other which makes it easy to make a relationship truly work. An important lesson that I have learned is to also be able to acknowledge when someone is just simply not the best match for me. Instead of trying to make a not good match work, it might be a wiser choice to just find someone that fits better. I truly believe that for everyone there is an aligned partner out there with whom we don't have to massively compromise ourselves and can more effortlessly form a harmonious connection with

[lorajacquelineeclectic]

This breakdown was very valuable thank you!

[agloria]

Does this make you incompatible or emotionally incompetent? Is it incompatible or the fact that conflict resolution is not taught and that we are not feeding, safety, trust, appreciation, validation, and respect in each other? That we are not recognizing their emotions and attending to their needs? It is not incompatibility as much as the emotional incompetence? The challenges in the relationship exceed the skills required. So, work on communication skills?