5 Challenging Traits About INTJs (From an ENFP)

Five things, I, a female ENFP hate in INTJs. Nothing personal, just my experience. You know guys and girls, I like you, so, peace.
Let's get the MBTI personality type videos to get started!

Timestamps
0:00 Intro
0:35 Me having fun :p
0:58 INTJs news / updates
2:00 The 5 things + Bonus

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[agent]

not speaking for all INTJ's but on point #3 when it comes to not sharing info or what we're thinking - it's really just the path of least resistance, turning thoughts and ideas into clear and concise words takes effort and unless I really believe someone will understand what I'm saying or take it seriously it's not worth the effort to prepare a comment, it's much easier to just observe what's going on and speak when asked to

[tehflooper]

Well, I can relate some of these traits with specific cognifive functions of INTJs:
1. Deleted messages - Si demon / Ti critic
2. Face in public - Se inferior
3. Might not say something because it's not perfect in their heads - Ti critic
4. Regret things that are said (overanalyze) - Si demon
5. Not doing something I like because it might not work - Ne nemesis
6. Leaving first - se inferior / fe trickster (depends on the contex, INTJ is the most pragmatic of all types and have performance anxiety)

So, in general these traits come from the fear, insecurity and worry attached to the inferior and shadow functions

Now, how to deal with them:
1. Inevitable
2. Tell them that you plan to take a photo of them with anticipation and let them choose whether they want or not
3. Inevitable
4. Inevitable
5. Inevitable, but because they have Ni hero they can literally find the way to make it work, you just need to remind them about its superpower, Murphy's law can be applied in a positive way
6. If they already have a plan and have already assigned a specific time to stay, there is not much you can do, but if not, what you have to do is give them as much detail as possible about the people who will be attending, what they do, why they will go (in case there are strangers), the place, what they will do, etc. Avoid surprises. In general, it is about giving them the social context of the event and hoping they're not too overwhelmed. They will only be able to spend a lot of time with the few people who are in their bubble and with whom they feel comfortable. If the place is not what it seems, if the people invited do not like them, if the conversation turns to things that do not interest them, if plans change or there are surprises, the INTJ will find the first opportunity to flee. Remember that they are not affiliative people and do not value social interaction for its own sake, but for the use, benefit or advantage of doing so, if they notice that they are not going to gain anything by staying longer, they will simply leave

[nicholasedmunds]

If you can find things you hate, at least that means you care

[aizensama]

I can't speak for all INTJs but sharing information is difficult depending on the type of info. Because sharing is Inclusive and Power is Exclusive. So to share your Power is to weaken yourself, which is something I can't do. And on your 5th point personally I thinks it's because whatever the if it's too costly of a risk I'm not taking the action. But you definitely had me laughing about the not wanting to take pictures and have them plastered all over the place.

[BuizelCream]

As an INTJ, I more often "edit" messages rather than "delete", but in my experience it's not really about insecurities of how other people might feel or how I might look if I say this or not, but it's more of the fact that it's a struggle for me to project the details out from my head when I communicate. I edit messages when I have to make sure the word is the correct one out of accuracy, so I often look for synonyms and antonyms and looking back to dictionaries and double-checking on resources to make sure the point I'm trying to convey is clear enough to get across.

The same goes for why I hold back a lot during real-time conversations through spoken words. It's a struggle for me to recall the right words, rather than a struggle to make sure others won't be offended, so that's why there's a lot of pauses and silences and thinking when I speak. It's the constant struggle to detail everything that's causing me to think twice and thrice and more. If I speak things spontaneously, how I converse will often get stuck in the realm of abstracts and concepts that's very detached from a person or an object, and I'm sure many INTJs out there, if not all, are very aware that not everybody can grasp those invisible realities that cannot be seen with any of our physical senses.

[mlevlentdemnknightamv]

Lol I never thought my deleting messages thing was an INTJ thing !

[checkandmate]

Thanks for the videos, I wanted to explain some statements from my experience. As INTJ, I realised that a person has a right to see the message I sent to them, so even if it is tempting to delete something, I concisely keep it there, even if it was dumb.
Being on camera is also embarrassing, but what is worse is to show that I am worried about a thing that surely no one in the world would care that being a photo of me.
Not saying what is on the mind or regretting what is said is a universal problem, but it mostly comes from experience. Sometimes I can be too open minded around ENTPs or INTPs friends, but then soon face casual critic from them that can hit my ego, and people who I don’t know very well can be just confused.
Not starting some project or not trying to attempt something because “it will fail” mostly just an excuse.
Leaving the place first is always tempting, but I also feel it might somehow offend others, so I stay a bit longer, but I usually suffer in my mind and also think that it looks like I give pity to others, so it also feels like I offend others.

[johnknight]

Point 1 and 2 are related: we don't want our information or data online to be used in ways that will harm us in the future. I don't know about "messages" (do they actually delete texts?! that's illogical!), but with comments we might realise we said something that could make us look bad -- or hurt us professionally -- in the future.
The last few points are more to do with less mature INTJs who haven't taken the steps into broader life and "embraced the chaos". We would like to share whatever is in our heads, our first thoughts, but we just don't trust most people. *Most*. We are looking for that person with whom we can share anything, and if we like (or even love) you, then you may be that person. You know the INTJ overshare? That is what it looks like.
But you have to realise that we have different thoughts to most people. Often darker thoughts. And most of us have been told throughout life that we shouldn't share thoughts like that, or people will think we're deranged, inappropriate, psychopathic, etc. Remember, almost every INTJ you know will have gone through life with people regularly telling them that they are weird. What do you think a person's communication style will be like after that?

[THEDOOMSLAYER]

Ahh yes my favourite topic to talk about

[QMS]

INTJ male here,
1. I often delete my messages or entire conversation history periodically. Yes I understand the frustration but I view that as my privacy and safe place where I can delete it if I want to. Before texting existed conversations weren't recorded they were just one time memories. I don't owe you a backlog of my comments from when I was a different person
2. Hiding my face is basically the same reason, privacy. I don't want my face out on the internet
3. As for not saying something until it's ready, I think you underestimate how often I genuinely have nothing to say. Depending on the type of conversation if it's debating or interesting topics I have alot to say but if it becomes heavy or emotional then I will shut down. Also I don't owe a initial raw emotional reaction I am allowed to take my time
4. Everyone regrets things they say
5. This is a great point and what's holding back a lot of us

For real though I'm just playing devil's advocate 😂 great video I learned a lot and everything you said is absolutely true lol

[mattgoodmangoodmanlawnmowi]

Hablo castellano bien hace muchos años. Pero soy anglosajon y un INTJ.

SO I started in Spanish just to mess with you a bit.

I have just recently discovered that ENTPs are more than just flighty and a bit goofy.

Wish I had known this since HS.

You are one cool ENTP. And you do get me.

I never before thought that ENTPs, of all types, would turn out to be so interesting.

Now I am fascinated to learn all I can about these free spirits who add the flavor to the substantial things I do

Life could get interesting. Just cruising for now.

But my INTJ radar has been tuned to a new frequency.
I love the long range vision, the focus beneath their flightiness, that ENTPs have and long to be known for.

Life is interesting. Even more so when I encounter new people & situations.

For now I am just an old dog with a new trick. But at the very least I will no longer screen out unpredictable women friends. Instead I intend to learn from & about them.

I almost deleted much of this, but have learned to learn from my ENTP ‘ . seemingly jesting friends, so I will do it your way and not edit this a lot.

Keep lighting up our world, my ENTP friends.


- Matt’s dad Dan
I love your content AND your style.

[mitterben]

I'm an INTJ and I RARELY post my comments. I'll spend precious minutes composing comments and then delete them. I've done that on several of your videos! hahaha.

[OneWingedShark]

It takes a *LOT* of trust for an INTJ to share thoughts "before they're all figured out" —because we're dealing with intuition the connecting-threads are probably chaotic/nonsensical, which the extroverted-thinking doesn't like expressing (because it knows the connections aren't directly-logical) and introverted-feeling 'remembers' the times that the INTJ did and was rejected for it— and this is doubly-true if we're in the "I'm not entirely sure, but I _suspect_"-phase of thinking about it.

[williamtsang]

Not gonna lie, didn’t think that the deleting of messages was accurate, that was until you said that we replay situations in our heads, and yeah, I think that can happen for some people. The rest all accurate, especially #5 so funny, so true. Btw, if you’re an INTJ and feel all butt hurt and defensive, you should grow the f up, use this info to better ur self

[JO-ivtl]

As an intj I will give some insights.
Messages- I have learned that messages need to be smaller. So I have to put big ideas into concise 1 or 2 sentences, a paragraph at most, to convey the idea. This takes mental gymnastics for me to do.
No faces- in blunt I post what I do and not myself. I'm not really interested in myself, appearance or otherwise, and never think about it.
Not saying- I follow others conversations more than my own. Stay on topic and don't interject. I don't use opinions to form my thoughts and thus don't impact me either way.
Regret- this is care on an intjs part. if I'm spending time with you this is a very intimate moment. I could be doing a hundred other things, i need to get back to. I believe you value your time as much as I do and will do everything to respect that, without being asked to do so.
Don't do things- when I take on a new activity, whatever it is, this will be another ball to add that I'm juggling. I never intend to put any balls down. I don't move from activity to activity. It's a collective that in all efforts never ending.

[IsmoYliviiri]

As an INTJ. 1. I don't delete message or conversations what I have written but I might change the writing or delete all before send. 2. Not showing faces, Yes but if practice and leaning to do that. It did took long time to learn to show my face in pictures and videos. 3. Not saying everything, because feel not know enough about subject. 4. Regret is basic thoughts in INTJ, even writing this thinking to delete whole message. 5. Not doing what I want because might not work? Absolutely make no sense, because failing in doing teach already that this way it didn't work but then must find new way. 6. Leaving places quickly because has better things to do in elsewhere and staying long just make thoughts go to my projects, so isn't same to be where my project is? One thing INTJ doesn't like in ENFP is that she is talking too much and second she is full of energy, also it might be attractive but mostly it is annoying.

[yt-sh]

Fifth point is beautiful
(Focusing your energy and belief hoping why it would work than the other way around)

[patrickowusu]

INTJs process a lot in their minds, especially those that will affect our life. We think in an equal direction to the left and right of almost anything in our life. Interesting though we still have a strong unexplained reason why it will work or otherwise. The loop between our Ni and Te is a constant battle and fascinating. Few things surprise Us. In my life, I tend to be negative to my project if a person is only positive about it. The axis i used sometimes depends on the direction of the person I am speaking with. I

[camerong]

I'm an INTJ and this is so accurate lol

[enyah]

I am an I NTJ waiting for the actual conversation to start about the topic trying to be patient but getting a little frustrated lol.