Simple Trick To Stop Needy & Clingy Behavior

“How to Stop Being Needy & Clingy”

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In this video, Clayton is going to talk about neediness, how to stop being insecure, how to stop being clingy in your relationships, and how to start getting this part of your life under control.

Not Expressing Need Creates Neediness [01:25]

It is a way of thinking that keeps us locked in the state of need which creates neediness in a relationship.

If you want to escape this neediness view, if you want to no longer be needy or clingy in a relationship, you must express the need because expressing the need allows that feeling to complete itself.

STEPS TO EXPRESSING NEED:

#1: By talking about your need, you're beginning to re-frame that you are being able to ask for what you want in a relationship, whether it's reassurance, whether it is more presence, whether it is a deeper listening or just more security, that gives your partner a gift

＜ It allows you to show up as somebody that they now have a roadmap for of like how to love and how perhaps make happy.

＜ It creates this clarity where you both can figure out where you stand with each other – this what allows the intimacy to deepen.

#2: If you’re following with a request of what it is that you would like.

＜ A lot of this also has to do with the way in which you approach, the tone, body language and just the intention that you have. And communicating this is also important.

＜ It’s about trusting that maybe the other person, the reason that you're not feeling like you're getting what you want out of the relationship or the interaction is not because of something that's wrong with you or something that they're doing on purpose to try to deny you, it's rather they might just be ignorant.

＜ He has the opportunity or she has the opportunity to be able to step up and meet these needs here.

PUTTING PRESSURE ON SOMEBODY:

The difference between in terms of communication, what makes it pressure and a burden versus what makes it clean communication that allows the other person the freedom to fulfill on it and maybe feel good about it.

＜ When you are expressing your need, are you asking the person to fulfill it from them being in a place of not being okay? Are you making them not okay because you have a need?

HOW DO YOU KEEP THE COMMUNICATION CLEAN?

＜ By ensuring that they are okay, that you are making them okay with your communication which means you're not making assumptions about their intention.

CAVEAT:

If you still think that it's pressure and you think that he's not wanting to do these things even if you're communicating them clearly, then it might be important to reassess whether you are with someone that you are compatible with.

It's better to know the truth and get more connected to the truth because then you can have a conversation around it rather than operating under all of these assumptions and hoping that somehow it figures itself out on its own.

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The webinar is for women who are wanting to become relationship ready. Women who are at a place in their life where they want to have everything together in their side of fence so she can create the space for a quality partner to walk in her life and for her to be able to navigate it both mentally, psychologically, emotionally and truly have a high-quality partner that she can create a conscious relationship with.

In your corner,

Clayton

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[pdxbound]

Here’s another scenerio, they were loving and affectionate for the first few months of the relationship and then suddenly they withdrawal the affection for no reason. You begin to express your desire to have that closeness and they continue to pull back or they only give you the affection every now and then. Please take my advice from expierence, if you have expressed your desire for affection in a healthy and clear way, and they continue to not give it, save yourself some time and heartache and move on from them. Playing games with love and affection is never healthy and nobody should ever have to beg for it. It’s not easy moving on, and when you tell them you’re breaking things off, they will act like they’re suddenly ready to be loving and affectionate again. Don’t fall for it! They have shown you who they are and you need to get your mind together and be prepared for their “sudden desire for you” ahead of time so you are strong enough to walk away and stay away. I promise you will be happy you did. You will open yourself up to the opportunity to find someone who is moving in the same direction as you and is on the same level as you.

[TellyTingz]

My thing is I want more time and togetherness .

[mikaelavalete]

My boyfriend broke up with me three weeks ago because I couldn't deal with the stress of a relationship healthily and was too depressed to eat or focus and having anxiety attacks trying to talk to him about my emotions. I had internalized all my anxiety about being a good girlfriend, not wanting to be seen as jealous, and not wanting to be seen as clingy so I tried "fixing" my emotions myself until they would blow up from time to time and he'd be confused and worried for me. I never lashed out at him, but I would blame and shame myself instead which is just as bad. I am getting therapy and trying to find myself again, but this video helped me immensely to see things from a more clear perspective. Thank you so much. Whether my next relationship is with him or another person, I want to work on accepting myself more and be able to love someone whilst showing my true colors in a healthy way without hurting other people nor myself.

[_queenintrovert]

"People are only as needy as their unmet need"

[lucay]

There is no simple trick to it, I'm starting to believe.
I've come to realize that the roots of my neediness and fear of loss is in my childhood.
I'm going to fix that shit, slowly but surely, step by step.

[GreeneAnimalOfficial]

I as a guy was very clingy and needy to a girl i was very afraid of losing. With my insecurities shining with full glory and being so needy is what pushed her further away when she said it was over. My messages and voice messages were the cause of her running and getting further. I should've watched this a long time ago, i should've been wiser and could've worked on that toxic side of me. I don't want her back, i just wish for her to forgive me from the way i made her feel and of the way i acted.

I have been working on my way of being and trying hard to be new again.

[franticzenster]

So basically neediness is a kind of resentment. That's amazing insight

[natasha_mulusa]

So so true. Holding back what you want to express or not fully expressing what you need and want deprives you from being yourself fully and being free in the relationship which leads to distance and eventually seperation. Talking, communicating and expressing exactly what you feel and want will make things so much better because your partner gets to understand and know exactly how you feel and where you are emotionally.

[luizagrant]

Please send my love and respect to your mother ! She raised an awesome man ! 👏

[sparklypinkleopard]

Love what you have to say on neediness and clinginess. Your perspective is unique and resonates very much. Your last point was to communicate your needs without blaming or assuming. Then, if he doesn't care about your needs, he's probably not compatible with you. I agree with that point SO much! I used to worry incessantly about coming off as needy and clingy so I'd hide my needs and feelings from fear of "being too much" or causing the attraction to decrease. However, with the guy that I'm with now only wants to hear those needs and know how to meet them as I do the same for him. By expressing, rather than hiding needs it makes us closer and improve our relationship I've found.

[Sarah-esqf]

I like this. I'm a 60 yr old woman starting to date again. I wish I would have known how to ask for what I wanted in a way that a man could respond to rather than attacking him for what he was not doing. Very helpful even at my age. So ...instead of saying you don't do this, I'm gonna say I would love for you to do Did I interpret this advice correctly? I think so.!!!! Thanks so much for the info.

[xcarriecatx]

I am struggling in my relationship. I do not know how to communicate my needs. I feel like I am going to push him away. I am in a tough situation where I am overextending myself above and beyond for this person, but I can't communicate my needs. It has built resentment and I do not know how to recover.

[lars]

You’re with the wrong person. Or you may have other issues that you need to deal with. The majority of people enter adult relationships to find the familiar or fulfill some old unmet need. Can’t rely on someone else to do that...

[monicalevyt]

I want to find a husband who knows how to communicate like that

[niyu]

Been through this conversation last week and I got tears in my eyes because I knew that this behaviour will make a relationship end if you dont try to fix it 🙏

[nathalie]

This is so me! You know why? Well in my previous relationships I didn't have to make demands...
The relationships evolved naturally, we both were on the same page. So I wasn't anxious or needy.

[AndrewMorten]

I lost a partner because I didn't express my needs. But then I resented him because he wasn't fulfilling them. We argued a lot mostly because he failed to meet my needs that he didn't know about. I either didn't want to burden him, or was afraid that he might reject me. It was easier for me to expect him to know what to do... after all we were together for 13 years (on and off)! I now see my mistake and what I need to take through to my next relationship. Thank you Cody, awesome words you share. Arohanui from New Zealand xxx

[Shasha]

If I show a need and the person runs/abandons then I don't want the guy any more. If they can't enjoy/like me at my worse they don't get me at my best. When I am the most sick they abandon me. They can find other women who are not sick. Guys abandon sick women. Women may not abandon a sick man. I have stated what I need and they are stubborn and withhold. To me control issues/ego and may not be compatible due to this.

[mariekendewitte]

'feeling neglected' seems also a judgement because it involves another person.. unless you mean one neglects oneself. Great video, really helpful!!

[teachernanxie]

I was teary eyed with this, currently experiencing this situation. I feel like I am not being understood by my boyfriend. maybe bcos the way I communicate with him makes him feel bad and defensive where what I only want is for him to response in every feelings and issues I shared towards him. I want him to be more understanding instead of ignoring my feelings bcos he was just thinking that I was only overthinking.