Why Love Is More than a Feeling

What if we were to make all our decisions solely based on how we felt in the moment?

You may be familiar with the four types of love: eros (love of desire), storge (love of affection), philia (love of friendship), and agape (self-giving love). While each of these forms of love are good in their own way, they have to be accounted for correctly.

Eros is the most temporary of all the loves. Feelings and desires are fleeting. So when we try and make decisions that are based on these desires we have, they’re bound to fail before we even make them, just because eros is so fragile. Imagine choosing your spouse, or your vocation, or your profession based on how you felt about it 5 years ago. Would you be happy with the outcome?

Eros has its place in our life, but we need to make sure we’re acknowledging the more important elements, especially when making decisions. Eros is fleeting, but the agape love God has for you isn’t. Focus on the things that last, and attend to the feelings that don’t, and enjoy the life God has laid before you.

❓ Have ideas for future videos ❓ Topics you want to hear about ❓ Questions you want answered ❓ Make sure to put #AskAscension in your comment 👍

— MORE FROM ASCENSION —

— SOCIAL MEDIA —

— BULLDOG CATHOLIC —

[tomasidh]

"To love is to will the good of the other" - St Thomas Aquinas.

[PamelaBoyer]

Please pray for me. I’m a broke unemployed widow. Please pray for my 19 year old son who is in Texas.✝️🙏

[tMattM]

Imagine having a Catholic priest come to your house and you decide to watch...*THE BACHELORETTE*

[kariahMLS]

Feeling so bad my grandpa passed away pray for me😭🙏🏾 and the soul of my grandpa

[mikestergios]

38 years ago, my wife and I went through Engaged Encounter before our wedding, with six other couples. Three ended their engagements based on what they discovered during the six weeks of exercises. Most important take-away: Love is a decision, NOT a feeling.

[IONov]

I needed this. I am such a feelings person and a hopeless romantic. I've read too many romance novels. Romance and those giddy feelings make you feel high and alive. I can understand how people get into affairs now. Love is more than an emotional high.

[briyinrunj]

The worst part of being traumatized is that people expect you to behave as if you aren't.

[thomascunningham]

As someone who dated and stuck with a less then ideal relationship way longer than I should have only due to eros, yes I completely agree

[mountain]

Can I like this twice? I can't love this enough. Such great wisdom.

My friend once told me, "Feelings are a great companion and a terrible leader, " and that has continued to stick with me.

[WowNemy]

My girlfriend broke up with me 2 weeks ago. We had chemistry in all those 4 things you mention. I believe that is why the breakup went down with both of us being kind and respectful to one and other. It is still burning in my heart, but I am finding my way to God through this situation. Good stuff can come out of everything. Thank you for sharing this, Father!

[xtremelyrndm]

please make a video about the four "deal breaker" areas and what questions we SHOULD be asking and what we SHOULD be basing our decisions on

[JohnR.T.B.]

I think we all have to admit that when we have a crush on someone, it is more or less due to the appearances, body languages, and manners of the person, but of course as the friendship and relationship grow, we must go beyond the appearance and mere friendship into a commitment grounded by faith in God.

[doreenm]

You are like the big brother I never had. Thank you Fr. Mike Schmidt.

[JevgenijsMusic]

I prayed for an explanation in this area recently and here your video comes, oh Lord, you're so good! 🙏 God bless, father Mike!

[seanoconnor]

Love is not a feeling. But rather an action.

[trinidadraj]

I love how this is timed a few days after Valentine's Day, haha

[philomenaswope]

Me: sees title and looks away
Also Me: realizes the very fact I don't want to watch it means I should probably watch it

Clicks video

[patriciasanchez]

This topic is exactly what I have been contemplating for months now. I really care for and like this guy I met at school and have stayed in contact with in the pandemic, but I'm fighting the urge to say I love him because I want it to have meaning. Love is not a feeling, but a self sacrificing decision I want to make daily. I can grow into love, but for now I'm not in love. 😊

[cantonpop]

So well said Father! I think people often focus on "feelings" rather than compatibility and shared values or life goals in relationships. Not to mention that so many just jump into "sexual chemistry". All these things are important but we shouldn't just rely on feelings because it'll fade quickly after our happy chemicals in the brain fade away... I don't know, just my two cents!

[vjs]

So true. Don’t go by your feelings biggest mistake I ever did. Will make you unhappy as I find myself in unhappy and lonely marriage. I pray for God to help me.