AITA for not wanting my autistic cousin at my CF wedding? #aita #aitareddit #reddit #redditstories

[melodii--]

Yta. She's high functioning and doesn't cause any problems at other functions either. OP must have personal issues. Immaturity is hardly a problem in cf weddings

[Amirah-hv]

Yes you are that’s not fair she didn’t choose to have a disability just because she likes childish things doesn’t mean she will cause trouble at your wedding

[jordynfs]

YTA

Shes an adult, shes high functioning, she doesn't have loud meltdowns, im not sure why you wouldn't want her there.

[miliniumo]

If she's normally quiet and doesn't get freaked out at busy, loud events and had even shown she can stay perfectly calm at other weddings, then yes, yta

[Foxceptional]

YTA. The eye contact is normal for someone with autism. It also sounds like toys are her hyper fixation rather than an indication of a developmental issue. Overall, OP sounds very uneducated on autism and clearly has not put in even the tiniest effort into understanding the cousin.

[StoneSaysHello]

As soon as I heard high functioning I knew OP was going to be the AH. That last line though. That infantalization makes me mad.

[tracim]

Barbie was a major movie that sparked lots of interest and conversations.

That’s not childish at all

[thetableoflegend]

So you currently have 0 reason to believe she would be a disturbance (you say yourself she mostly just draws) but you are concerned solely based on her disability?

YTA

[WerstoftheWorst]

Op really said she doesn't act like an adult when she IS an adult. Just don't be ableist it's really not that hard

[snowangel]

YTA. If she was throwing fits or any equipment she needs can't be accommodated, I would understand. But she's keeping to herself.
So she doesn't socialize, so what? Let her have her notebook and her peace. And either change the attitude or be willing to lose everyone because they won't be a wedding, let alone family coming, at this rate.

[Piiratekang.]

Major YTA. As the youngest in my family and neurodivergent it is INCREDIBLY frustrating and disappointing to be talked to and treated like a child when you’re no longer a child. We often feel like we’re different because we’re drastically younger. Often we hope that once we become adults, family will start treating us like it. So what if she has “childish interests”? It doesn’t hurt anyone. To also be treated like a child and an issue is incredibly harsh on self esteem and makes it really hard to want to be around family and makes it hard to be happy with yourself.

[ms.b]

So she’s not a child. Your fiancé is calling you an AH, she doesn’t have loud outbursts, she’s attended weddings in the past……. Do you just not like her? Or

[Aries_Superstar_Army]

YTA

I’m 32 years old and on the autism spectrum, my older sister got married last week, I was chosen as one of the 2 maids of honor and gave a speech at the reception which was met with hugs and tears from the guests.

[KenzWing]

Oh, definitely the AH.

I would understand if she caused issues, but my goodness...she seems fine.

[fantastickattastic]

So by law she's an adult. She is high functioning, maintains a job, does her best to communicate with others (especially in extremely busy/loud places), etc.? Yes, you're the AH.

[Lisa_The_Norwegian]

Child free means young kids or non-adults. If your cousin is 20, then she doesn’t count as a child. So if you wanted her to be excluded you would have needed to have that talk with your aunt and uncle before sending out the invites. You messed up this one.

[baraah]

WOW So she is not an adult because she likes toys and doesn’t make eye contact?? Even though she is working and do everything by her self and she doesn’t have tantrums and has attended weddings before and was perfectly fine if you don’t like her just say that don’t blame it on her autism

[pamlovell]

Yta. I have autism myself. While I think every person has the right to invite whoever they want, but you are not in the right here. You are not basing your decision on her past experiences. Have you witnessed bad behavior from her? I suspect no. And if the answer is no, you have not taken the time to research autism or spend time with her to find out. You have basing your decision on what you think autism is and not the reality of it. You are biased and very much the ah.

[HelloKitty-dfkz]

Listen the OP could habe explained her reasoning in a peaceful way, but its OP and OP's husband decision if they wante the cousin there or not, if the cousin's parents are mad then they can stay iwth the cousin, it's OP's wedding so it's her decision who can come and can't

[negafulor]

If you don't like someone you are free to not invite them to your important fictions. But don't make excuses to your reasons. Be open to your b**ness.