Lending Money to Family - Avoid Financial Enabling!

Lending Money to Family - Avoid Financial Enabling!

So what do you do when your friend, a family member, a boyfriend or a girlfriend asks you for money? Do you give it to them? Do you refuse? What should you do?

This is a common personal finance challenge.

Be careful, because the answer to this question could destroy your relationship. Whether it is lending money to your boyfriend, lending money to family, or lending money to friends - when money changes hands like that it can put a relationship at risk. So loaning money to someone should be done with extreme caution - if not avoided altogether.

The real problem lies with this - why does this person need to borrow money from you? What series of events or circumstances have led to this person needing a loan from you? Is this person bad with money? Are you supporting a pattern of financial mismanagement or financial dependence by financial enabling someone?

If you do decide to lend them money this video reviews 5 critical considerations.

Wishing you excellent financial health,

Dr. Brad Klontz

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[stoundingresults]

Don't feel bad about saying "NO". You are allowed to be happy too.

[SPARKWISDOM]

Just found your channel because I loaned a few friends money and it’s been a self-sabotaging behavior! I loaned over $30k in one year! Just dumb.

[Lieveheersbeestje]

Definitely NOT !!! I got burned BADLY twice .... ( by 2 different people ), and the friendships were lost . And 1 of those friendships was longer then 10 years + ! 😥😥😥
Yes, you're right ... As soon as the money changes hands, the relationship changes . ( And not in a good way ) Avoidence ... Recentment ... In general they tried very hard to find reasons to ( after years ) hate / dislike me ....
It won't happen a 3rd time, I'll guarantee it ! About a $1000 gone !
I could afford to loan it, but they didn't stick to our repayment schedule ... and let's be honest, in the end, you get sick of asking !!! So, I decided to let it slide ... counted my losses ... But also the end of 2 really nice friendships I had enjoyed . No 3rd time 4 me !!!
Learned my lessons the hard way by enabling them Great educational vlog !!! And a gr8 warning 4 and to others ...
Have a gr8 evening !!!
Love, Jody 👍❤💖❤🦋🌻

[IloveHobbits]

Hey, thank you for making this video! I "lent " what amounts to my net monthly income from my savings to a friend for covering her first rent + deposit just last week (don't worry, with loan contract) and I'm trying my best to stay actual friends instead of becoming patronizing. Your video pointed out some entitlement I was harbouring subconsciously, but it also comforted me that I'm not enabling bad habits. She really is trying her best in a bad situation (bad health + bad luck) and I won't begrudge her if the money ends up "gifted" to get her back into some stability. Thanks for helping me be a better friend, i'll try to remember what you said!

[andreaa]

I needed to hear everything in this video omg thankyou

[TimRoseOfficial]

Super video and tips my friend! Thanks for sharing, really good advice! Big congrats passing 4K! Keep it up my friend!

[SEEDOFISRAEL]

Only give what you're willing to part with. As far as lending money, I don't do that because I hate enabling people to stay crippled and ignorant. The only way people will learn is to hit rock bottom.

I would rather see them hit rock bottom than to keep enabling them to remain ignorant and cripple. If you keep feeding the wild animals, they will forget how to feed themselves.

[DrBradKlontz]

What are the pros/cons of lending money to family or friends? Have you ever borrowed money or loaned it to someone? Did it work out okay or did it go bad? I'd love to hear your thoughts!

[MaggieBaker]

Great video Brad! The question of whether to lend or not lend also brings with it an opportunity for the potential lender to examine their own motives for considering a lend.
Questions like, do I want to please the friend, do I get off on being in a power position, do I feel sorry for their partner or child, does my self narrative include me being overly trusting and then allowing my self to be victimized?, come to mind.

[TGREAT]

Don't lend money. Or take important documents and bond it with proofs and legal authorities!

[sweetberries]

Never lean money to family or friends period

[valeriebrumbelow]

Lending can be like a children's book If You Give a Mouse a Cookie.

[fmboy]

My mum has 2 jobs and she’s making at least $1.500 to $2.000 a week and she still ask for my money. She probably thinks I’m a stupid 23 year old because I had to raise myself and she tries to use me everytime but I know what she be up to. What should I say?