Top Ego Defense Mechanisms - Terri Cole

Someone’s in denial, someone’s projecting…we hear and maybe even use these psychological terms but…what do they really mean?

Denial and projection are a couple of the ego’s defense mechanisms. Your ego (or “self”) is part of the human personality as defined by Freud, the father of psychoanalysis. It’s basically the story you tell yourself about who you are. It’s the conscious, decision-making part of you that experiences and interacts with the world.

So when uncomfortable or painful thoughts, situations or feelings arise and challenge that picture of who we are, our ego can jump in to defend our sense of self.

Ego defense mechanisms can make it easier to live in a hard world and are natural and normal responses to stress. Sometimes, we need them to protect us from pain, anxiety, difficult emotions, and hard truths so that we can continue to function in our day to day lives.

But if they are overused or if we are using them in a way we are totally unaware of, it can make it very difficult to have healthy relationships, set appropriate boundaries, or recognize codependent or other dysfunctional tendencies.

It all depends on how much, how often, and with what (or whom) your ego is employing its defense mechanisms. Remember, this process is predominantly unconscious and it is a part of the “factory setting” for being human.

Inside this episode, I’m going over the most commonly used psychological defense mechanisms to raise your awareness around where your ego might be blocking you from true self-knowledge.

ABOUT TERRI COLE
Terri Cole is a licensed psychotherapist and global leading expert in female empowerment. For two decades, Terri has worked with some of the world’s most well-known personalities from international pop stars to Fortune 500 CEOs. Terri has a gift for making complex psychological concepts accessible, and then actionable so that clients and students achieve sustainable change i.e. true transformation. She empowers over 250,000 people weekly through her blog, social media platform, signature courses, Real Love Revolution and Boundary Bootcamp + her popular podcast, The Terri Cole Show. She is also the author of Boundary Boss-The Essential Guide to Talk True, Be Seen and (Finally) Live Free (April 2021)

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[elisadaluz]

This is great. I listened twice. Love the way you explain, your pleaseant voice, sense of humour and all wisdom that you have the kindness to put into simple ways that anyone can easily understand. Thank you!

[positiveandhealthy]

I hope that everyone meet their soul mate in a right time and be together forever ❤️

[statesunlocked]

Terri, your videos are excellent. You have a real knack for presenting insightful information and sharing perspectives in an easy to digest way. It's very much appreciated. Love your channel.

[jennahei]

Terri you're a delight :D "Denial, not just a river in Egypt" I was cracking up hahah

[chloeeastwood]

Woah, how are there only 26 comments!?! You're amazing and so thought provoking! I honestly had no idea why I was always trying to please people who don't like me, only to realize I employ two of these defence mechanisms to try and convince myself that I like everyone. There are plenty of people who aren't my cup of tea and I don't have to convince myself that hate me or that I need to please them. Wow!

[terridelmarto]

You are very concise and enjoyable to learn from, thank you.

[miragepeter]

I don't think that anyone that is toxic like this cares to listen to this..I think only the one's that are experiencing this from others are the one's that are watching this..

[sarahlang]

It’s a wonderful, I definitely could see myself in some of the examples you have. I don’t mind say that I don’t like someone and I also think it’s important to fallow our guts obviously sometimes we are wrong but it also can be a warning ⚠️.

Thank you very much for helping me to understand my complex mind.
You are awesome! 😊

[daughteroftheking]

Hi, Terry, I watched all of your videos and I look forward to seeing them. I have complex ptsd and pcos. My mom is a huge narcissist because she also has bad boundaries. Recovering codependent but weirdly I spent a lot of time with my self. And have huge confidence doing on my own. My personality trait is infj. Which is a rare type. Please make a video to help me unless you do personal therapy. ?

[mariamkinen]

❓kinda rough... from what I can gather...

[robertstanley]

Because I live with family whose political views are a lot more polar than mine, I have been probably experiencing all these defense mechanisms maybe, everyday lol smh

[Moonbunny]

It seems the ego defense mechanisms go hand-in-hand with unhealthy learned attachment styles?