Taylor Swift's Anti-Hero I Themes of Narcissism (Therapist's REACTION)

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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.

THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.

[TaylorOwen]

When I saw the beloved Dr Ramani covering the topic of Taylor Swift’s new music, my jaw dropped! Thank you for reminding me that NO ONE asks to be abused and that none of us struggle with it alone.

[hannahteryn]

You should look at "Dear John" from her Speak Now album. That describes a narcissistic relationship to a T. There are more lines that outline other aspects of a relationship with a narcissist, but these are a few examples.

"Counting my footsteps, praying the floor won't fall through, again" (egg shell walking).
""And I lived in your chess game, but you changed the rules every day" (moving the goal posts).
"Wondering which version of you I might get on the phone, tonight" (if the narc is in a good mood or not).
"Maybe it's you and your sick need to give love then take it away" (withholding).

[jonigarciajg]

She has a song with a line that says"people throw rocks at things that shine" and that helped me so much, it was a long time ago when her music was more country than pop. It helped me understand why I was getting negative vibes and snarky remarks from my sister when I was getting closer and closer to accomplishing my master's degree

[j.b.]

At 57 yrs old, a musician and music fanatic…I work as an entertainment TV camera person. I met Taylor Swift briefly, many years ago for a sit down interview. She is professional, kind, empathetic, sensitive, intelligent and beautiful inside and out. I always thought I was too old to listen to her music(coming from Springsteen, Tom Petty, LED Zeppelin, The Police, The Beatles etc..). I took a chance on ‘midnights(3am)….after hearing rave reviews! I was blown away with the depth of the lyrics, the production and the overall vibe of the record. Currently I’m in a difficult marriage separation…I found her lyrics and the overall message of vulnerability very relatable. I did a deeper dive not her last 2 Covid albums…incredible songs…Folklore is a masterpiece. She is a great songwriter and a highlight sensitive person. Money and success can’t fix all of the pain of the human experience.
She struggles to live a normal life but it’s not really possible. I blame the very beast of entertainment media for much of her abuse and sadness. There are definitely narcissistic men who took advantage of her vulnerability…it’s a painful way to learn. But she seems to have come out of it a better person. Gotta say I’m now a massive fan and only wish I’d taken a good listen earlier!

[suzanne]

" Willow" also has narcissist themes, many many of her songs portray toxic/ narcissistic relationships and abuse.
Love her song " Mean, " where she says
" You, pointing out my flaws, as if I don't already see them; I...just want to feel okay, again "

[carolinaaco]

I’ve been a TS fan since I was 15, I grew up on a family full of narcissism and narcissistic abuse has been normalized. Her songs have been cathartic to me, she has always have the ability to put words to my experience and feelings, her songs make me feel validate it and understood.

[lovelight]

I love how you pointed out "when people are talking about her they're really talking about themselves." I feel that. That's such an honest statement. I just don't know how many people realize that.

[natalieshannon]

The song "Anti-Hero" is me. I have depression and went through abuse. "The problem is me" is my mantra. i'm glad Taylor sings about this. I don't feel so alone.

[myntndmarriage]

"Once we normalise abuse in the public sphere, we give permission for it to occur in private." couldn't agree more! There are so (too) many examples of this everywhere we look. I'm starting to wonder if humans are inherently bad or do the bad simply outweigh the good?

[andreaanonymous]

I have been quite impressed with the way Taylor Swift handles herself. I have seen in the media several attacks that she endured by some very toxic people in Hollywood, Kanye West being one of them, and she handled them all with grace, humility and integrity. From just the little that I have seen, she has been bullied a lot for nothing more than being her true authentic self, standing out and sticking up for herself. It was her response speaking out in court about a radio host that groped her, then sued her for his job loss afterwards that really impressed me. After that I actually took the time to listen to some of her music and I was even more impressed by the things she was writing about. She devoted a lot of time to calling out mean abusive behavior in others. I completely agree that she has known more than a few narcissists in her life, and I really hope that she starts to see that she was NEVER the problem. So many of us have gone through this kind of abuse and for too many years we blamed and even hated ourselves for being different or for being what we thought was the problem when it was never us that was the problem. Narcissists love nothing more than attacking kind and authentic people and Taylor is definitely one of them.

[jojijosette]

Taylor Swift said she's an aware narcissist. Anti-Hero is a song about what she does not like about herself, and about her life becoming too big to manage. The song is Taylor talking about herself. It's on the internet... Taylor saying these things, you can find it. She's wearing a chevron stripes top.

[andreamai]

She said in interview she was writing about herself. The biggest giveaway of what she is in the equation is, the line where she says people get tired of her scheming.

[dominiquebreighton]

I find self-blame the hardest thing to overcome after the narc abuse. These monsters pick us, sensitive people bc they know it'd be easy to convince us that the problem is us. It's still horryfing to me to realise all the lies and manipulation and wickedness of these people. And when it comes to Taylor, I always sensed this hatred towards her was just mean and unjustified, prejudiced - now, when I have experienced the cruelty and madness of narc abuse myself, I'm sure of it.

[gouthamphani]

I am a chest physician from India. I suffered family narcissism in the past. and now because of your videos i was able to stand up for myself. I would love to do a chat with you and maybe that might help many viewers get a ground level perspective on these issues..

[cchamming]

Also the song Would've Could've Should've on the Midnights album is such a good description of narcissistic abuse and the long term impacts. "And now that i know, I wish you left me wondering", "I regret you all the time", "You're a crisis of my faith", "Give me back my girlhood, it was mine first", etc. It such a raw true depiction of what many survivors experience

[anetapietraszko]

Dr.Ramani, a podcast with you and TS would be phenomenal 🙏🏻🌈💚

[lisakissler]

Awesome that you featured Taylor’s album. I just happened to listen to it yesterday at work and I’m a mental health therapist. It blew me away!!! Either she has a good therapist or her insight is amazing. I am a fan! ❤

[melodymelomaniac]

It is an absolutely fantastic song. I'm not even a big Taylor Swift fan but she nailed this musically, emotionally, and visually.

[Shelby-pqwj]

This song I related to 100% all her songs make me feel seen for the 1st time ever. My depression submerges me because almost everything she’s singing is about people abusing her in some manner and when I hear the song…I find myself remembering or fantasizing almost every scene but with my life and my experiences. Guess I realized I have a lot of trauma. Taylor swift fans such as myself are all just trauma bonded. I grew up hearing I was the problem. My own father said I was a narcissist at 3 years old and most of my family makes me into the problem when I finally realized….I was raised by the narcissists. What parent looks at a 3 year old and labels them that? Everything I did or said they said I was the problem.. I don’t think one person has even just loved me genuinely. It’s always been me placing way more into every relationship. So now I’m self isolating and I’m 25 and hole in my room for years…I’ve been so traumatized I stay away from all people. I’m just thankful Taylor brings up depression and this self hatred brought upon by neglect and abuse. Reason I love her. But yeah if you’re depressed like me, I hope through Taylor and her music that it makes you feel understood and seen for a change. Remember you're worthy and you deserve to be treated kind and loved.

[kassandramare]

Hi Dr. Ramani, WOW...I am moved by your tenderness and incredible compassion towards Taylor. Many of your thoughts and assessments resonated with me. Most of all, I appreciate that you reminded us... no matter how big one might be, how famous, or how much money one has, it does not minimize the pain this kind of trauma can incur. I thoroughly enjoyed this video and am looking forward to hearing more as a new subscriber! Thank you!