The Ugliest Most Useless Tank Ever Made

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New Zealand, 1941. With World War 2 well underway, a top team of government officials are gathered in the picturesque South Island countryside, chattering with excitement as they eagerly await the revelation of the nation’s brand new secret weapon: a fearsome tank designed to crush any Japanese attempt at invading its shores. Among their number, the man behind the machine, Minister of Public Works Bob Semple, promises it will be like nothing they have ever seen before.

And he’s right. An audible hush descends over the group as, suddenly, the strangest-looking armored vehicle they have ever seen emerges from the hillside. Trundling along at a painstaking 5 miles per hour comes an industrial tractor crudely covered with what appears to be corrugated roofing panels, looking more like a school project than a beast of war - it doesn’t even have a cannon.

Awkwardly grinding to a complete halt just to change gears, the 12-foot-tall monstrosity then wobbles onwards for a few more yards before hitting a bumpy patch, which sends her top-heavy structure crashing to the ground.

The silence is broken by a combination of angry outbursts and mocking laughter as the crowd turns to Semple for an explanation. Yet when he asks if anyone has any better ideas, everything soon goes quiet again. The Japanese army could arrive at any moment, and his tank was all New Zealand had…

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As images and footage of actual events are not always available, Dark Docs sometimes utilizes similar historical images and footage for dramatic effect. I do my best to keep it as visually accurate as possible. All content on Dark Docs is researched, produced, and presented in historical context for educational purposes. We are history enthusiasts and are not always experts in some areas, so please don't hesitate to reach out to us with corrections, additional information, or new ideas. -

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Don't mock tractors without guns. Killdozer was a marvel.

xinixini

Thanks for surpringly in depth video of the Semple tank, explaining the whys and hows rather than just mocking it.
At the time NZ had a population of around 1.6 million and no heavy industry capable of even building a car, let alone a tank and still dosnt lol.

lastguy

I find him very smart and a person who did his best with what he had, "Adapt, overcome and persevere"....

commonsensegunlaw

Desperate times call for desperate measures

jokodihaynes

How dare he build a tank without a cannon when he had no way of getting his hands on a cannon! His country needed a tank. He built the best tank he could with what he had. He stepped up when no one else would.

EspoB

He was the O.G. inspiration for the A-team

robertwhatley

once the japanese saw that new zealand had the bob semple they just turned around and went back, was no point even trying to invade.

cantybrad

The greatest tank ever built.
Single handedly deterred the Japanese war machine from invading without firing a shot.
Bloody legend mate.

NelsonZAPTM

The tank which was so terrifying it single handedly made the Japanese cancel their invasion of Oceania.

Semple-Fi.

clanksshekels

I knew this had to be about the Bob Semple Tank the moment I saw the headline. New Zealand used to have a 'Can do' or 'Number 8 fencing wire' attitude which we have lost to some extent over the decades. This was a good example of kiwis trying their best. Perhaps building rocket launchers might have been a better use of resources, but this tank is a part of NZ history.

bukster

One fateful battle going another way a short time in the future and this contraption would probably have seen action. I don’t blame mr. Semple for trying in this situation.

kansascityshuffle

Fascinating story and great video. Many thanks 🙏

sirskidney

I love the spirit of the thing. Military people will always say that we can do everything with nothing. He made something work with what he had. I am sure he could have built a beautiful tank if he had the equipment and the parts to do it with.

larryjohnson