When is the final discard? When will they stop hoovering? #narcissism

So often people ask me and they wonder when is the final discard? When will this person finally leave me alone?

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Tune in to hear the perspective of a self aware narcissist. That’s me - Ben Taylor a narcissist in recovery trying to promote awareness, healing, growth and change. I do that by these videos on here, TikTok, Instagram and Facebook.

Platforms I am on:

[nickf]

If your narc is hoovering you, its for one reason....they cant get their supply anywhere else, its just that simple. They are having a hard time finding a new victim, so you will do. They know you fell for it once, so they think you are a slam dunk. Don't be naïve, they lied to you, used you, cheated on you, were disrespectful to you, and then dumped you....you deserve much better.

[yaras]

I asked my mom why did my ex came back, she said: because you are useful to him on many life aspects and put up with the way he treats you. Glad she was so direct, helped me to snap out of it.

[MizoletteTV]

Thanks for this! I have blocked him on everything, but he keeps reaching out to my family members to see what I’m doing. No matter what, I’m done. It was the disrespect for me. I’m not letting him back in.

[katja]

The last time he tried a hoover was before I told him, if he does anything again, I will see him in court and said that I already told my doctor about and to my therapist, and I am dead serious about getting him into legal troubles.

He waited a few days and then literally wrote me an email saying that he was having a dream about us and he felt like our book was over.

My therapist predicted that legal consequences may scare him away. She's right. Never heard of him since. No more secret gifts at my car or surprise visits at my house. And no more phone calls..

Silence, the sweetest sound of a peaceful life.

[aliciav]

They move on When they got grade A new supply ....
When you betray them when you turn the tables and the ego destruction you inflict on them is so severe they don’t even want to get revenge they legit just really hide and move on to what they consider new better supply

[cup_o_TMarie]

I actually found that the two worst I dealt with finally left me alone once they FULLY realized I was on to them & without being nasty I told them they needed to leave me alone & work on themselves & their insecurities.

Up until that point, I’d never told them how insecure I noticed they were & how that & fear were driving their relationships with me & others.

I also employed privacy features & blocking so that they couldn’t have access to my life. This all made me become FAR more private on social sites overall. I generally share next to nothing personal….where I go, what I have, where I live (besides city), what I drive, etc.

I do believe that with some people who have narc tendencies, like he said here in the video, a great enough perceived injury can force their ego to stay away.

In my case, I believe it was a bit of the injury regarding their insecurities along with my SOLID NO ACCESS that made them realize I….

1.Truly saw through them.

2. Changed my vibe with them completely with totally firm denial of relationship

3. Made access VERY difficult

4. They KNEW I would expect “too much” if they ever tried to have a relationship with me again. I would be “too difficult” to conquer again so new, or old supply would be easier & less of an ego risk.

You cannot be concerned about what they think about you, even if what they think is wrong (it usually is) & even if they tell other people their BS story of victim hood or that you’re crazy. YOU know the truth & the people who matter will understand. That’s all you need to deal with.

I don’t think it’s any one thing that will work & really needs to be tailored to the individual you’re dealing with.

I hope that can help any of you struggling through this. I promise you can come out of these relationships by employing a few tactics for them but MOSTLY by focusing on YOURSELF & why you’ve been a vibrational match for these types of relationships.

Learning to FORGIVE yourself will be some of the most difficult work. You likely have shame & regret for the things you participated in while in the relationship. Forgive yourself FIRST & just know that you did what you could with what you knew then & now you have a new understanding, new tools & SELF RESPECT!

The healing work I did after my last, and worst, breakup absolutely changed my life & helped me bloom into the healthy person I am now. It IS possible to come out BETTER THAN EVER👏🔥✊💝

[cherrybacon]

Or... when hes got another supply, depending upon how long he's been with them and if they've cottoned onto the Narc yet. Even then, he may come back in years and years from now and try his luck. Its all down to the Victim. 🍒

[helenedembroski]

Why can't they just leave us alone and stay with the one they cheated?

[KiKi-teyd]

I was so damn horrible back to him after the last thing he did to me, that that chunt will NEVER come back for me. Mission accomplished ✔️

[jinksbosswicks]

Was watching lee and he mentioned u so I’m here

[tellnolies]

YOU have the power over the discard and the hoovers cut then loose NO CONTACT block delete ignore .. they are not gonna do it on their own !!

[fernandocastro]

I noticed this too. It's weird because I've seen videos where narcs will also discard people, all the ones I've encountered I've had to change my number and even move away to get away from them...

[longislandny]

He stopped hovering me when I stopped allowing him to Hoover me. My last word to him was DUCES ✌️. Haven’t heard from him since.😅

[ammj]

The two Narcs (married) that I was around loved to talk shit about their current and discarded clients. In fact they talked so much about one discarded client that I assumed they were still working with them. I knew when the time came that blocking them, every way I know how, would be essential. As well as the people that closely enable them.

One of the things that the Narcs take for granted is that their current and former clients talk about them. Part of the reason people leave them is that the badmouthing of other clients to other clients creates an obvious toxicity to the point that everyone can safely assume, shit is being said about everyone in negative ways. This is the self sabotage that somehow the Narcs can't perceive is happening. Its as though they can't perceive this reflects poorly on them.

[SupremeAtheist]

The more they come for me the most I spit on their faces. I have a surprise to the narcs!

[heavenlyprecog]

He did the final discard in February!!! Hallelujah 🥳🥳🥳

[loverightreasons]

You are correct. I've been divorced now for 20 years and never remarried. Worked on myself and became a great mom for my son and built a career. My ex has been divorced and remarried 2x after me. Total of 4 marriages now. Tried to get back with me before and after 3rd marriage and before 4th. See the pattern - I definitely declined. My son is now 32 and my ex texts me a song via you tube at 10:30 at night - 2 x in 1 month. I'm sure he is miserable again as he regrets life - sending me drunk song texts 20 years later. Are you kidding me!!!
Just call me Casper the friendly ghost out. I just pray for his soul. So sad.
My advice is do the inner work and heal childhood wounds and traumas. Narcissists are mentally ill and live in delusion as they cannot be honest with themselves. We need to fix ourselves too as to why we were ever attracted to a liar. Get to the root of the problem.
God has something better for you in His timing.

[TheSarahhudgins]

My narc actually blocked me, and I’ve been blocked for months now. I think I caused such great narcissistic injury to him and his ego that it cut the ties

[Meme]

Mine expected me to Hoover him. Peter Pan couldn’t handle the truth and got butt hurt and asked I leave him alone. But was also pointing out everything he did over and over . I think he’s done done.

[jeffreyexposito]

A narc will also hoover you just as an an act of final revenge before discarding you for good especially if you were the one to first discard them.. THey of course will already have secured new supply.