Am I Wrong for Siding with My Mom Over My Wife About How My Sister Dresses?

[BellaQuiz]

rest of this post: I sided with my mom and said she didn’t do anything wrong. I suggested that maybe we could buy some t-shirts for Maddie and Zoe, but that Aria shouldn’t be disallowed from wearing her own clothes.

My wife was furious, and it really put a damper on the rest of the trip. To clarify, my wife also doesn’t like it when my mom oversteps with Maddie and Zoe, so my mom doesn’t buy them much because it usually becomes an issue.

TLDR: My wife and I had a disagreement during a Disney trip with my mom and my sister Aria (7). Aria had elaborate outfits planned for each day, which upset my daughters, Maddie (6) and Zoe (5), because they didn’t have similar outfits. My wife got angry at my mom, and I sided with my mom, saying she didn’t do anything wrong. Now, my wife is furious, and it affected the rest of the trip. Am I wrong?

[GalacticGab]

Hold on, wife doesn’t like when Ops mom oversteps with the other two but she also doesn’t like when she does stuff for just one child? Thats dumb entirely

[FriendlyFries]

Wait so your mom even offers to spoil the kids but the wife refuses out of bitterness is crazy

[livanaluna]

The thing is the girls could participate if the OP'S wife let them. It sounds like the mum would've bought the other girls outfits too if OP'S wife didn't have an issue

[darkraven]

OP even said Aria isn't a bad kid. he just gets a lot of presents.
A lot of parents dream of being able to give their kids nice things and fun experiences. It doesn't make them bad parents.
You can spoil a kid and still teach them life lessons. Aria isn't a bad kid, doesn't brag or rub it in their faces.

This can be an important lesson to teach OP's kids, though. It's okay to be jealous sometimes, but they have to learn that it's not something you can take out on people. Some people have more, and some people have less. It's how they treat people that matters.

[Kagome....]

The mom is taking her time out of her day doing all of these things for her daughter because she wants her daughter to be happy. She’s not telling them you should do that like I do know she is letting them be and they should let her be not asshole.

[sammie]

Wife is jealous and needs to look at herself being jealous at a child. Some children are privileged and some children aren't doesn't mean they cant be friends and be themselves. The little girls wanting stuff like the little girl are just reflecting what the wife does. And even if they are jealous too, they are children they compare and if not handled right will feel bad. Wife need to pull up her pants and be a parent not complains to the mom like a child.

[frontstreettea]

NTA. OP's wife is not worried about Aria being spoiled or the other kids getting what Aria gets.

OP's wife is straight up jealous of OP's mom. The wife is way out of line.

[Crumpets]

Your wife is the problem here. She seems jealous and is passing her attitude on to your daughters.

[tommyflatley]

No. Your wife has no place to tell you mom how to care for your sister. She needs to learn boundaries

[tiawolf]

NTA - your wife is being unreasonable and judgemental

"I dont like when you buy your daughter things my kids dont have"

"Okay I'll buy your kids things too"

"DON'T DO THAT I DON'T WANT MY KIDS TO HAVE IT"

"Okay I'll just raise my child how I want and let you do the same"

" **Angy noises** "

Like this is so stupid - Grandma is raising a good and humble kid who gets along with other kids despite differences in experience

Of course a 5 and 6 yro would get a little jealous but doesnt mean a 7 yro should be punished for dressing up

Especially if you are actively preventing your kids from doing the same

OP needs to ask his wife wtf her problem is and why she feels the need to police other people and their lives

[jessicathompson]

NTA. Quite frankly it's none of your wife's business how your mom raises her daughter.

[middi]

Life's not fair the sooner your kids learn that the better provided your mum isn't encouraging your sister to be mean and snooty to your daughters over what she has v what they get it shouldn't be a problem.

[cohina]

One simple solution: tell your kids that it’s actually their mom who doesn’t want their grandma to treat them as equal to their aunt. It’s not their fault for being mad but at least let them know who to be mad at.

[ritarevell]

Maddie and Zoey need to not be envious of their auntie Auria. Your mom is correct. Your wife could have painted their nails, too. She could have purchased ears for the girls, too. Does your wife envy your mom at all?

[littlelotus]

Teaching your kids that they can’t have everything that someone else has and that they need to stay humble despite their jealousy is important

[Bladewarriorcat]

Am i the only one lost on the "party on every birthday" bit?
I know some cant do it every time but i feel like every child has the right to have a party on their birthday every time it comes around.

[Miles_Phantasmagoria]

I mean, seems like this situation could be easily resolved by talking about it, not blowing up at the mom/grandma. You can even talk to the kids & communicate that themed outfits aren’t what makes the trip special, and while their emotions are understood, they can make their own style. Idk!!

[melissalutz]

I wouldn’t tell anyone how to parent their child, I wouldn’t have my children closely raised with a clearly overly spoiled child though, I’d keep them at a distance just because I’ve seen the tweens then teens those spoiled kids turn into and don’t want that type anywhere near my children

[jasminehenry]

Maddie and Zoe will figure out that different families have different ways. And if they don't OP and his wife should explain it to them. Don't focus on Aria's family and how they do things, focus on your own kids. It's understandable that Maddie and Zoe can feel envious but OP should tell them that material things come and go and they should focus on having fun and making memories.