3 Examples that PROVE Traditional Gender Roles w/ Abigail Favale

Watch the full interview here:

I wanted to run 3 ideas by Abigail that I think prove that men naturally want to give and women naturally want to receive.

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[colmwhateveryoulike]

Interesting. Satan hating women in particular. Maybe because submissive strength is what he utterly rejected in himself?

[holyrosarywarrior]

I am learning a lot about Solanus Casey-- he was by many stretches of the imagination a "failed" man. He asked for a woman to marry him as a young man, he was rejected. He later entered the Capuchins, but was not able to keep up with academic rigor of the seminary and so was rejected from becoming a fully practicing priest and was ordained a simplex priest (couldn't preach or hear confessions). As a Capuchin, Casey was assigned the lowest role: doorman.

By the standards of the world and the culture Casey was not exceedingly manly. He had a high pitched voice. He was a bit quirky, and he actually would mix in his coffee with his cereal and milk, and had a habit of mixing disparate parts of a meal into one bowl and eating it that way. Casey was soft-spoken, gentle, and loved to play his violin, and was regarded as a bit "quirky" in the words of his fellow friars. Not traditionally manly by any stretch of the imagination.

But God does not see the way we see. Despite the outward appearance of Solanus, he worked at least 6000 recorded miracles (cures, conversions, etc) while still alive by his intercessory prayer. His miracles were so common and prodigious, he was ordered out of obedience by his superiors to begin recording them in a book. The lives of many people were completely altered by this humble, unassuming, meek man who stood at the door accepting whoever came through it.

[sandstorm]

"Happy wife, happy life" is definitely used pejoratively by most, however, my first thought when I hear that is to live it honestly. I want to be the husband that protects and cherishes and pleases my wife, to do everything I can for her--which in turn I'd hope she'd return that affection by cherishing and support me as well. I want to put in the work for and have that mutual selflessness for each other, y'know?

[MauricioRicardez]

This woman is great! She's tremendously blessed. Greetings!

[jameswaweru]

Marriage is never a walk in the park but I see a lot of lessons that the western culture could learn from African culture. Like psychological maturity when entering into marriage and vice versa we could learn to be more monogamous in our relationship. Good topic.

[rachelrasmussen]

I once read the memoirs of an ex-gay who talked about his fantasies of an embrace. When he was falling asleep, he would fantasize about being held by a man as he was dozing off. He was endeavoring to heal his sexual decisions, and he felt strongly that should include heterosexuality, but he couldn't successfully imagine being held by a woman. But as he worked and matured in his own healing, he recalled the night when he spontaneously fantasized about HOLDING a woman, and a ton of pieces tumbled into place for him.

[tomgnau]

Never heard of this guest before, unfortunately. Her wisdom is very evident. Bravo.

[alepine]

find the whole 'traditional gender roles' issue to be pretty ridiculous. I would say, live the faith, love your spouse and kids, be an observent Christian, and strive for peace and harmony in your marriage and household. Don't worry about fitting into any kind of gender role. Also, you'd be surprised how often women tend to act as the 'head' in more traditional and seemingly patriarchal (and very Catholic) cultures, to the point where in Italy, Portugal, Spain, etc. many women tend to be quite dominant within their homes and families, and far less meek in public settings than you'd expect.

[elizabethjordan]

And of course all adults should have equal civil rights. Not all women want to be married. And many who do marry don’t want to submit in a traditional way and let their husbands represent their civil concerns. There is a distinction between a woman and a wife. A woman is any adult female human with xx chromosomes, while a wife is the helpmeet role.

[silpapaul]

Although i agree its most often the case that men propose.. St Giana Molla proposed to her husband if i remember right.. and i do know a Catholic Indian woman who proposed to her husband

[basedpatriarch]

I'm never refusing being the little spoon.

[kimmenstell]

I'm so glad that you made that example of unless ( the women or man) has experienced trauma which can also distort the relationship. Being abused often makes the victim feel as though they themselves are the reason the behavior by the abuser took place, and also they might feel like because of their personality- or some other trait they some how caused the abuse, I am speaking on a personal example here. I appreciate how both of you delicately spoke about each of your experiences. I went to an ultra liberal college and saw first hand how the feminist culture vilified men and made them "shut up".
I do want to point out though, in terms of the Christian point of view of the dynamics between a man and a women, I am pleading for men to LOVE their wives, if you love/respect/are sensitive to your wife, she would be willing and feel honored to be with you intimately.
I was abused and I remember going to the police to make my report the officer as part of his investigation felt he needed to ask me what type of clothes I was wearing( how short was my skirt...), and also critiqued me on why I didn't go to the police right after the incident, instead of the hospital. Yesterday marked four years since, and I have done my best to move on with it- but sadly because of the lack of maturity of men in my peer group and often the blatant disrespect and immaturity often times they would expect me to sleep with them after a certain period of time, so I stopped dating entirely. Even supposedly "Catholic" men I tried to talk to just objectified me instead of trying to earnestly listen and get to know me. Not saying women do not do this to men, but I don't have that experience of trying to date women so I cant speak to that. What I can say is this greater culture of sexual revolution has really made relationships impossible because men and women are just seen as commodities and sex is seen as an exchange... people are even in "polyamory marriages".

[elizabethjordan]

It is quite apparent that the biological and psychological imperatives of husbands are to provide, protect, lead and represent, while everything about a wife’s biological and psychological makeup is designed to receive from man and convert these goods and guidelines into a healthful and harmonious atmosphere and existence.

[deogratias]

A man letting God love the woman through him... a wonderful way to look at it!

[Waldemarvonanhalt]

IMO governments should recognize the importance of marriage by reversing no-fault divorce laws. It's the only contract governments never fight to enforce and jump at the chance of dissolving, without any penalty for the "defaulting" party.

[kariboroff]

Good discussion. I don’t disagree with anything Matt said, but as a woman I feel a great deal of pushback whenever I think of male headship. I think the fear around it comes from the understanding that power seems to be an inherently corrupting force. Anywhere you look that leaders have absolute power, there is almost always abuse. Receptivity to loving leadership is one thing. But when churches, as they often have, make a woman feel like she has to give up the fullness of her humanity to be obedient to another equally mortal sinful human being, it is dehumanizing. And far too many men, feeling they have been given power over their wives, will abuse that power.

[milohilltop]

Traditional roles work for a lot of people but a lot of people find them awkward, inhibiting, and even detrimental. We should all be not too confident in our expectations.

[lavinder]

Good for her for pointing out the hubris.

[Kingoftheworld]

4:40 she's so right. Women, hold on to your femininity. Remember how special you are and how much God loves you

[mr.loveandkindness]

3 examples that PROVE painting with a paintbrush!

There's nothing to prove, its a preference. A paintbrush isn't the only way to paint, just because many have and still do prefer the method doesn't mean anything. Human sexuality is an expression of love and passion and friendship, it's just like art in that while their will always ignorant people who deny all but classical styles and methods as "true art", the rest of us will be enjoying the beauty and fun of our own ways of making art.😌

Hope you're all enjoying the summer❤