If they act like a child, treat them like a child

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Today, I discuss some skills for dealing with someone emotionally immature in your life: validating, boundary-setting, modeling empathy and morality, and more.

Intro music: Church of 8 Wheels by Otis McDonald
Outro music: Lensko Let’s Go

Time Stamps:
0:00 Intro
3:49 Skill 1
7:20 Skill 2
11:08 Skill 3
11:35 Skill 4
14:07 Skill 5
16:52 Skill 6
18:50 Skill 7
10:13 Skill 8

[AnaPsychology]

As an Amazon affiliate I earn from qualifying purchases!

[michaelstagar]

Couples therapy is a huge pain when there is a maturity gap between partners.

[moonriversou]

I'm watching this and realising that I'm sometimes immature myself. I mean, I always knew this but I realise I have a long way to go.

[DisasterAster]

I like the distinction of honoring a downstairs tantrum and guiding them out of it, but not tolerating/allowing an upstairs tantrum without consequences or setting/enforcing your boundaries

[nidhishshivashankar]

It’s unfair to offload emotional regulation onto other people. I don’t see why adults deserve such a high level of compassion when they’re essentially bullying you into prioritizing their feelings over your own.

[Erilithia]

I was initially nervous to watch this video because I subconsciously thought that treating people like children would mean treating them the way my parents treated me - not very nicely. But as usual you are spot on. I sometimes find it hard to comfort people who react in unexpected ways to situations like the ones you mentioned, and these seem like the approaches I need to do better at comforting people like that. Thanks for another great video :)

[danielbautista]

When is school going to realise that psychology should be taught in grade school

[main]

The bit about the "upstairs tantrum" really put some things into perspective! Thanks for sharing this!

[libbycabrera]

I don't know if you've read this book: Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents. I would highly recommend that book and would love to hear your commentary on it.

[cherryblossom]

This is slightly triggering to me because its exactly how I've been talking to my parents, even tho they traumatized me and didnt treat me well as a child. My parents weren't ready to have children at all

[tobubiify]

as an immature person this is exactly how i want to be treated

[kerfluffle]

I love your twist on applying the concept of the book to relevant situations and people in life!

[XBuilder]

6:22 "I'm sorry Frodo, i was delayed."

Has gotta be one of the most mature answers ever given.

[raidtheairwaves]

As a person who has dealt with a person like this my whole life. We have to realize when a person acts like a child when they are significantly in their adulthood they never change. It’s heartbreaking but you either have to accept their childish tendencies or move on which sucks a lot

[littlepinkskeleton]

I don't know that I agree with the 25 y/o maturity thing. I've met people who are younger than me and are intellectual, emotionally mature and educated, can admit when they're wrong or don't know something. And then I know people who are older than me by decades and act like toddlers, sans any actual disorder that would cause regressiveness.

[sololimbo]

You’re on a roll lately especially since the subject of this video applies to my relationship with my partner thank you!

[SctsceDuwn]

This guy was fretting that I declined his requests to call me twice (informed him I was doing something) yet I talked to my friend who was overwhelmed with a pregnancy that came too soon. He had nothing important to talk to me about, just him being needy. I'm learning how to be patient and explained the difference between the times they called (and the weight of the topic) but how could a grown a man not understand. He's like a chiId who wants to be played with first regardless of the circumstances.

[donovanmedieval]

I'm not saying you're completely wrong, but if an adult is used to being treated like a child, they may find it harder and harder to get away from their childish behavior.

[TheEverGrowingRosey-]

Hmm this is interesting to me, I went through an experience where someone I was living with was treating me like I was not just a child but their child (and they aren’t my parent, I barely knew them). Constantly bossing me around, getting on my case about their disapproval on any little thing I did or didn’t do. It was a nightmare. They even went as far to say I was like a two year old. I had tried on numerous occasions to meet them half way, come to them with reasonable expectations of respect, & used my words carefully. But at some point I had enough, & started acting like the defiant brat they had already characterized me as. 🤷🏼‍♀️ I didn’t feel like I had any other option, I didn’t have the means to move out. I was trapped.

Edited: I am out now, though the person is still in my life due to them being in proximity to a loved one. I play polite now, but I don’t think I can ever trust them. I don’t feel emotionally safe around them.

[Artandnatureloveeee]

Could you do a video about immature coworkers? Or just coworkers who disrespect your boundaries, what to do when you have to hang out with them all day