'Show Don't Tell' is advice that might destroy your book.

The phrase repeated most to writers is "Show, Don't Tell." However, this advice is terribly misguided. In fact, telling can result in even stronger writing than showing. The trick is to make your writing internal, not external.

[carolinessi]

I got very conscious about my writing style (which is really alike with the third example) after I saw the phrase "show, don't tell" that I stopped writing stories for years. I stopped because I tried hard to apply that advice in my way of writing and ended up getting frustrated, until I just chose to stop. I'm glad I saw this video, though! It made me wanna write again.

[גרשוןפרלמן]

Beginning a memoir four years ago, I wrote over 200 pages (70, 000 + words) in two years and spent much of the past two years since, trying to adapt it to "show and not tell, " after hearing about that concept. I also wrote it without an outline and knew nothing about structure. Now I'm dismantling the "house" I built and trying to restructure it. Getting professional feedback, I got clobbered over my lack of "show and don't tell, " and was asked, "have you ever read a memoir?" But also received a lot of praise in my use of emotional "internal" telling. This video is both a reassurance and an inspiration that I'm doing one thing praiseworthy. Thank you, for this. Hoping to learn even more, I'm signing up for your seven-part video class.

[justjack]

Thank you for this video and your perspective on this subject! The 3rd way is how I naturally write, but time, and time again, I heard show don't tell! Perhaps sound advice when writing a screenplay, but a writer's personal narrative is what makes the story. You've given me the courage to write with this mindset. Thanks again!

[jessbenitezofficial]

Thanks for this explanation. I have so much to learn! I'm starting to research and study writing because I wish to become a writer, and I'm seeing many writers expound on the "Show, don't tell" idea. Watching your video made me realize that I don't agree with them. Like you say, and how we're taught in school, you have to Show AND Tell. Thanks again!

[georgianesmith]

I've been arguing this point since the 1970s. Memoirs or fiction or creative non-fiction. It works sometimes, but it doesn't ALWAYS work. At least nowadays, tho, the current generation of writers isn't taught the Henry James principle that all stories must be told from a SINGLE, sensitive, reasonably educated (tho still needing to learn) point of view. Third person limited. No author's voice allowed. (Tho honestly, he does slip that in now and then.) Back in the 70s when I was getting an MA in English/creative writing, I did a an independent study on point-of-view, discussing how limiting that prescription for story telling was. For one thing, that restricted the kinds of stories and the kinds of characters whose stories you could tell. I submitted sample chapters of a novel based on the real life experience of someone I knew to a Doubleday (I think) editor who spoke to a writers' conference I attended summer of 1978. He really liked the story and he was impressed with my writing skill. But he recommended that I pick a single POV for the story.

PROBLEM: the story could not be told with a single POV. The story could not be told that way, because it existed in the intersection of SEVERAL points of view. Bottom line, the story was about those contradictory viewpoints and how the contradictions ended up convicting an innocent man of murder.

So I tell other writers: WHERE DOES YOUR STORY ***LIVE***? In reality, none of our life stories exists in a single point of view. Contradictory viewpoints ALWAYS intervene. Of course, if we decide the story exists in the way the main character works thru her or his major conflicts, well, then, the single POV limited is the way to go. What POV should be used? The one or SEVERAL in which the story LIVES.
(BTW I am a freelance editor. Contact me to talk about your projects.)

[joshuamurphy]

I'm treating this as permission. A nice lady on YouTube said I could do it. 😏

[DeMeza]

Good video. And I totally agree that "show, don't tell" is bad advice. If anything it really should be "show AND tell". I also think it depends on the context. Sometimes showing is better than telling, and sometimes you should just tell and forget about showing.

[TransparentLabyrinth]

Well said, happy to see someone who is pushing back against "show, don't tell." Seems like 90% of the people who act like they're going to push back on it just end up saying "show sometimes and tell sometimes." The idea of internal/external, subjective/objective makes more sense to me and relates to something I recall reading years back. I'm paraphrasing, but the general idea was that written word storytelling is about inner worlds. Like that is where their strength lies. Trying to maximize emphasis on visuals in a format that depends on the reader's imagination (which is what the "show, don't tell" adage seems to do) is kind of strange, to say the least.

I've heard it claimed that "showing" is better for evoking emotion, but I felt more reading your internal example than I did reading the external visual of someone throwing an object. My suspicion is that evoking emotion is less about the prose itself and more about relatability; tapping into experiences that other people can connect with. Which is where internal can arguably be so strong because it's tapping into universal human experiences with how we perceive other people and the ways we process their behavior and so on.

[Dracocetus]

The second example of telling is showing the povs thoughts in the narration and it's showing the possible outcome of Neeta regretting, seeking forgiveness by curling up in the couch and offering popcorn. If that part was telling it would be: "later, she would hint to her to forgive her, " It is also showing more of the povs expectations of Neeta and showing more of her personality instead of telling: "Neeta is the type to usually realize and forgive after getting mad." (Make it even more telling by removing this inner scene that shows her expectations no matter how telling the sentences are). So, saying this part is entirely telling is not true at all. It is actually showing a lot in my opinion. This is why "show not tell" is so important, because without it, the text is nothing more but a list of words that doesn't create any images in our head and only serves as a checklist of actions made by soulless characters.

[edwardpritchardpemberton]

I need your honest opinion on this writing:

I Desmond the head house servant became noticably uncomfortable by an even more noticeable cry that arose from the foyer of Mr.White's Victorian Manor. An unpleasant sound gravely amplified by the sharp quietness that came afterwards. Which was accompanied by my not so solid analysis on who could have created such a unnerving raucous. Curious and alert, I emerged from the small candle lit pantry and begin surveying the long hallway down below, capturing nothing at first glance. Assured my second one would alleviate the ever increasing worry of having to become an inspector of sorts. But nothing cured this newly adopted unease of mine. Noticeable by the beads of sweat careening down my temple with one dropping as low as my right shoulder and another hitting a part of a creaking floor board not completely covered by my right foot. Expecting the worst, I quickly undid my tattered apron, rested my beaten broom on the adjacent wall, and hurried down the winding staircase. But a pleasant confusion set across my heavy brows and lips when I reached the bottom. Do in part to an all so familiar and excited face that plowed into my slender yet tired physique. "To what do I owe this rendezvous we find ourselves in, my lady?, " I asked. "And are you Ok?" I followed. Panting and now minutely unassured of what would spring forth from the pretty porcelain face standing before me. For she, outside of my day-to-day duties, was the only thing prominent in my mind every since she took up residency 4 months prior. However, she was unable to respond to my questions which, with a closer inspection, could be seen as a harmless flirt. Being that she was overwhelmed by the good news she had become privy to a tiny time before that I now desperately wanted to know. Placing her small left hand on my stomach and the right one on my left peck.Thinking she would restrict my movements long enough to make her almighty confession. While I myself in that moment became less interested in trying to progress pass her as I previously thought I would. Moreover, I was still recycling the noise I heard mere seconds ago I believed still needed investigating. Because I had yet to hear a word from this fair lady. But Josie's infectiously disarming expression would kill almost all remaining inquiries I had with a closer and even deeper look into her wide open mouth and even wider opened eyes. "No threatening matter at play here" I thought, finally. Now wishing, with the last speck of curiosity I had left, was apart of what ever it was that disturbed the tranquility of Mr. White's estate. I would eventually come to know the who and the what that produce such a brilliant expression on this sweet damsel, if she would only say something. "Impatience is not a virtue" I said to myself, with an ironic slight tightening of my hands around her soft arms. For this petite frame I found myself holding ever so firmly was able to speak. And speak she could. A talent I knew all so well. Especially from a mouth, just a day ago, had unlatched and opened a flood gate of resounding proclamations about how she had been the best "Lay With" - or "Dirty Jezebel" from the Yankees that felt they weren't well compensated for their Greenbacks - and how "she would be the only one men would flock to see this side of Corinth County Mississippi." A place during America's war with itself that was renowned for soldiers desiring a handsome flow of whiskey, rest, and forbidden brothels to help calm their shell shocked psyches. But as quickly as I had that thought of her, phrases begin pouring out from her rose powdered lips. Words I felt I had been waiting many moons for. "Chandler is coming by to see me and he's bringing me gifts, Desmond! Isn't that great!?" she asked me in a cute twang. "And he wants to know if you would be interested in one as well?" With her eyes fixated on mine. Now finding myself unable to divorce a word or two from my own tongue. Consumed more by what was in-store when those two locked souls again. A wicked embrace I thought once that would "make even the hell flames in Tartarus blush." Recalling a quote I heard years ago from the constant food-filled jaws of Mr. White.

[littlefiresproject]

Illuminating video. I have always considered certain dogmas of creative writing quite questionable: with this simple example I understand that I was right

[AllisonMiller]

I have a book published that I struggled with a scene for days because a man is recounting his horrible relationship with his ex to this girl and I was already hitting a wall because this man just came from a funeral, and the big sting father figure the protagonist see him as is in this moment gone and he’s incredibly vulnerable. So, I did a twitter poll and a lot of people said “conversation is fine, if it’s being told through the eyes of the young girl then it would work better because she can’t see into his past.” And some people would call that telling and say it’s lazy, but there are so many books that have someone recounting a long tale.

[christopherhuang]

My usual thought is, sometimes you have to tell X in order to show Y.

[qormi]

Just found your channel and glad I did. Show don't tell has always confused me, and lately it is causing me to give up writing. I too would pick No.3 if I was reading that in a story. Looking forward to viewing more of your videos. Thank you so much.

[betteisacoff]

I don't care for any of the three. The "showing" example is not tight writing. I would say something like "Neeta's eyes, and her neck veins, were bulging."

[coreychancelor]

It is essential to know when to use the rule "Show don't tell"— if not, that one misunderstanding will mess up your book. That "Show don't tell" example was not good.

[SummerDreamr]

Probably one of the best videos I've seen on this topic!

[alisondumerre]

Thank you for this. I was beginning to second guess my writing style however feel all is good in the land of Nod. :)
💜

[hashimalz]

I basically write “ X was so angry” and either i write a dialogue that express his rage or an action. Is it good ?

[chuckwieser]

Thanks for the video. Great point. I've never heard anyone talk about external and internalism in relation to show don't tell.
How would you create internalism with a third person limited or third person omniscient? It seems like internalism would be easier in first person.