Uncovering the Hidden Struggles of Autistic Women Beyond Sensitivity and Giftedness #autism

[Alrighty]

Yep. I was the “super shy” “socially anxious” “weird” “too sensitive” “quiet” girl all of my life. Not sure why people think you are weird and annoying for being quiet and shy considering they literally aren’t doing ANYTHING to them. Also not sure why people think it’s an invitation to make fun of you or speak about you as if you aren’t there.

[kendrarhodes]

I was labeled “gifted” and everyone always tells me I’m smart. Yet I can hardly make friends or keep friends. Don’t like bright lights. Very literal. Jokes go over my head. Scary movies terrify me. The list goes on.

[memyselfandchristina]

As a female AuDHD-er, I was never labeled "sensitive" or "shy" because I was too busy being super loud and obnoxious all over the place :) Just wanted to add that other perspective.

[iceheap]

I haven't been officially diagnosed, but beleiving that your sense of worth is only tied to what you can contribute to your society is so painful. I went through a severe depressive period during my teenage years and didn't have the energy for school, and as a result I got very low grades. I was convinced I was worthless. I felt like I couldn't do anything right. Now that I'm in college and recovered, I'm actually doing great at my college classes. But recently, after beginning to suspect I have autism (which has been really difficult because I dont experience sensory issues like other autistic people do except for lights and sounds, and that has made it so I'm constantly second guessing myself or thinking that I'm exaggerating or doing this for attention) I've realized how much I put my value into the academic achievements I make. And it also explains why I feel so bad when I make social blunders. I've though before, why am I so good at academics but so bad at understanding simple requests? Am I just an airheaded smart person? I'm smart, I promise!
Anyway yeah, the past week I've been tryibg to begin the process of unmasking (if it even applies to me, again, undiagnosed) and part of that has been letting go of the need to make people beleive I'm smart constantly. I have value even when I mess up or make mistakes.

[southeastbeast]

I tell people I'm autistic, all that means is my brain is just wired different from yours. And that is true for everyone. But being able to get the tools I need is something I have to learn. I try to tell people like, I know you won't understand how I couldn't understand something. I'm not dumb, I just need help learning some things that don't come naturally to me. But I can experience things most people who's brains aren't wired like mine, just can't.

[MsBettyRubble]

Those words can be used as "compliments" so ppl feel okay about not doing anything genuinely productive to help the person who really needs it.

[nuage]

It’s funny because my experience was that if you are an autistic guy, your social inadequacy can be explained away by “oh he’s just quirky”, “he’s really smart”, “he’s kind of a genius”. If you are an autistic girl and don’t fit the “shy” profile, you’re just insufferable, cringe and stupid. I’ve witnessed with my own eyes guys acting like me being treated like half-gods while I was talked to like a two year old because a quirky girl can’t be a “genius”. I was called a liar or a cheater whenever any of my abilities would come to light, so much that I started trying to make myself dumb, literally, just to be left alone.

[robbiegibson]

I will try to be more aware of this myself. I never would have thought about this. Thank you because ofcourse I would want to know. I will look at future relationships completely different now in some aspects.

[quryil]

Yes 1000% how I was growing up in school, until everything hit the fan during college. I
Yes 1000%! I'm 26, trying to get approved for assistance to go get ADHD and Autism assessment.

[courtneyharper]

Yep. Sensitive, gifted... Yet I got in a lot of trouble for talking too much during class.

[kennedie]

I was forever polite and quirky. Always quirky

[H.Michele]

I was called shy and as I grew I was told I had social anxiety.

[joshpoi]

Or maybe sometimes people are just in fact a bit shy, or sensitive, or different and there is nothing deeper going on and no diagnosis other than people are born differently from each other, and that is normal and expected

[sugarwoofle]

Yup, though when I finally realized I was autistic and told my parents my mom just flat out refused. She was like "you're not autistic you just have social anxiety because of your dad." ... doesn't even make sense. She just refuses to believe there is a reason for all the struggles I went through my entire life. Ones that she apparently didn't see (which how could she because autistic traits in females were believed to not be a thing back then.)

[gailwagner]

I have been the "gifted" for my whole life.

[myhounddog]

We are Hated! People don't like us because we do not act the way they want us to!

[penelopebateystaff]

Where did you gather this information?

[maralfniqle]

Why does every character trait have to be labelled and medicalised now?