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New College Students: Alleviating the Anxiety

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Going back to school can be a stressful time for students and their families. But what if your child is leaving home for college?
This presents a whole new level of anxiety: the unknown, being away from home for the first time, moving to a whole new city -- the list goes on.
Nicole Rodriguez, a licensed mental health counselor with Baptist Health South Florida, offers advice for first-time college students and their parents.
Visiting the College
Ms. Rodriguez says the best way for students to reduce some of the anxiety of going to college is by visiting the school in advance. Such a visit -- although customary -- should be extensive, exposing the student to many of the unknown variables of the new environment and what to expect. It gives the student a chance to talk to other college students and hear first-hand about their experiences.
The best thing parents can do is talk to their child about going away to school, listen to them and learn about their plans, and then let them go and experience college life, she explains.
[Transcript]
[Teens Going To College: Tips on how to handle the anxiety]
[What can parents do to alleviate their own stress of their child going to college?]
Nicole Rodriguez:
So, things that recent graduates can do to alleviate anxiety about going to college is, start to expose himself to some of the changes. So, some of the things that they can do is, they can visit, if possible, the campus, walk around, talk to some of the students there, get some advice and hear from them what college life is like. And, as they start to get exposed to what college life is like and that unknown starts to become known, the anxiety starts to decrease. So, one of the most important things that parents can do to relieve their own anxiety is talk to their children. Parents are surprised how much children actually listen to the advice that parents give. As parents listen to their children and hear, they do have a plan for college, they do know what they're doing, that can also help relieve their own anxiety about them going away, or about them starting college. Then letting them go to live their college life.
[How can recent graduates reduce anxiety of going to college?]
[Hints to help college students cope with stress]
Nicole Rodriguez:
As schoolwork starts to pile up, sleep is extremely important. So, a lot of college students fall into the habit that they want to study all night, and they don't get sleep. That is the worst thing that they can do. Making time to make sure that they are getting enough studying in, but it's not creeping into their sleeping or they're eating. Having a healthy diet and sleep are very important. Also, they want to make sure they don't get involved in a million clubs all in the first semester. Take the first semester, the second semester, to get used to and accustomed to life now in college, especially if they're away. Do things that isn't just for school, but also things that they enjoy, things that can help them relax, so that they're not going crazy as the schoolwork starts piling up.
[What is the one mistake most parents make when their child goes to college?]
Nicole Rodriguez:
What I've seen happen a lot in my experience working with college students is, that parents tend to become helicopter parents. Parents want to be able to give their children times to be college students, to find that independence that they're looking for, now that they're adults that they need. Calling every day should not happen. Wait three to four days, and then check in with the child. And, I would recommend finding out how they're doing, not just asking, "How are your grades?" "You passing your classes?" No, ask them about them. How their day is? How they're experiencing college is? And having that open communication, but then also giving their child the opportunity to reach out to them.
[Tips for not being a “helicopter” parent]
Nicole Rodriguez:
So, encourage your child to come back home, weekend visits are possible or them going and visiting for a weekend. I would always tell parents to first talk to their child, and see what they would want and what they would be okay with. But planning trips, where they are still seeing each other. I would not recommend semesters off, unless absolutely necessary. Because, they need to get used to life away from home, if they're going to be in college away from home. But there's nothing wrong with doing mini trips, either up to where their child is, or the child coming home during the breaks to spend some time there with the family. And, talking to them from time to time, just to help them hear that their family is still there.
[End Transcript]
This presents a whole new level of anxiety: the unknown, being away from home for the first time, moving to a whole new city -- the list goes on.
Nicole Rodriguez, a licensed mental health counselor with Baptist Health South Florida, offers advice for first-time college students and their parents.
Visiting the College
Ms. Rodriguez says the best way for students to reduce some of the anxiety of going to college is by visiting the school in advance. Such a visit -- although customary -- should be extensive, exposing the student to many of the unknown variables of the new environment and what to expect. It gives the student a chance to talk to other college students and hear first-hand about their experiences.
The best thing parents can do is talk to their child about going away to school, listen to them and learn about their plans, and then let them go and experience college life, she explains.
[Transcript]
[Teens Going To College: Tips on how to handle the anxiety]
[What can parents do to alleviate their own stress of their child going to college?]
Nicole Rodriguez:
So, things that recent graduates can do to alleviate anxiety about going to college is, start to expose himself to some of the changes. So, some of the things that they can do is, they can visit, if possible, the campus, walk around, talk to some of the students there, get some advice and hear from them what college life is like. And, as they start to get exposed to what college life is like and that unknown starts to become known, the anxiety starts to decrease. So, one of the most important things that parents can do to relieve their own anxiety is talk to their children. Parents are surprised how much children actually listen to the advice that parents give. As parents listen to their children and hear, they do have a plan for college, they do know what they're doing, that can also help relieve their own anxiety about them going away, or about them starting college. Then letting them go to live their college life.
[How can recent graduates reduce anxiety of going to college?]
[Hints to help college students cope with stress]
Nicole Rodriguez:
As schoolwork starts to pile up, sleep is extremely important. So, a lot of college students fall into the habit that they want to study all night, and they don't get sleep. That is the worst thing that they can do. Making time to make sure that they are getting enough studying in, but it's not creeping into their sleeping or they're eating. Having a healthy diet and sleep are very important. Also, they want to make sure they don't get involved in a million clubs all in the first semester. Take the first semester, the second semester, to get used to and accustomed to life now in college, especially if they're away. Do things that isn't just for school, but also things that they enjoy, things that can help them relax, so that they're not going crazy as the schoolwork starts piling up.
[What is the one mistake most parents make when their child goes to college?]
Nicole Rodriguez:
What I've seen happen a lot in my experience working with college students is, that parents tend to become helicopter parents. Parents want to be able to give their children times to be college students, to find that independence that they're looking for, now that they're adults that they need. Calling every day should not happen. Wait three to four days, and then check in with the child. And, I would recommend finding out how they're doing, not just asking, "How are your grades?" "You passing your classes?" No, ask them about them. How their day is? How they're experiencing college is? And having that open communication, but then also giving their child the opportunity to reach out to them.
[Tips for not being a “helicopter” parent]
Nicole Rodriguez:
So, encourage your child to come back home, weekend visits are possible or them going and visiting for a weekend. I would always tell parents to first talk to their child, and see what they would want and what they would be okay with. But planning trips, where they are still seeing each other. I would not recommend semesters off, unless absolutely necessary. Because, they need to get used to life away from home, if they're going to be in college away from home. But there's nothing wrong with doing mini trips, either up to where their child is, or the child coming home during the breaks to spend some time there with the family. And, talking to them from time to time, just to help them hear that their family is still there.
[End Transcript]
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