My Adult FASD Diagnosis: Clarity for a Man and his Mom

Well, it’s here!
This has been quite a journey for my Mama and myself. Also a ride for my partner, Anna Argante, and my producer Sue Kobus. This is a small labour of love from each of us… and my hopes are that it will reach the people it’s meant to reach.

You do NOT need to be an alcoholic to cause damage to your unborn baby.
You do NOT need to feel shame if you did not know this and your child may be affected. Shame will change nothing.
You CAN work with FASD and you CAN have a normal life, as a parent and as a FASD survivor. Well… normal enough !

[costaldevomito]

"Develop the gift"

This is exactly why this man was sent to us. Such a beautiful lesson. Better or bitter. We all decide.

[jeanetteyork]

You're a lucky man. Many moms who drank and by doing so injured their children simply didn't care. Your mom still cares. Thank you for an enlightening video and much good luck to you.

[BeeinTX]

I have adopted two children on the fetal alcohol spectrum. Thank you for your transparency and I wish you the best!

[CityofLadies]

What an inspiring, warm and wise man. It is good to see him at peace with himself, his mother and his diagnosis.

[valerief]

I’ve always suspected that my baby brother had Fetal Alcohol syndrome, as soon as I learned about it in my sociology class in the 11th grade. He is now 41 years old, and was recently diagnosed.
Your story is beautiful, because you learned how you work. I explained to to my brother like this: Android Phones are great, iPhones are great, and they are both considered ‘smart’ phones. Only thing that makes them different is their operating systems.”
Our mother died in 1992 at 52 years old. He was only 15. Sadly his memories have faded over the years, but when he received his diagnosis he was angry with her. Screaming out of frustration, angrily asking how she could have done something like this to him. I had to explain to him that women didn’t really know what affect alcohol could have on their developing fetus. She drank everyday 2-3 cocktails before dinner, and she smoked because even that wasn’t taboo yet in 1976

[shabeth]

Thanks for the video...really got to me...I got FASD and it definitely shows in my adult life and at times has been a strain with my wife and step kids...at times my behaviour they hate but overly understand that my brain isn’t what it should of been like!!! I still feel very angry at my birth mother for making me this way...but at the same time I know times were different back then!!! Your video is awesome and sheds light that I can keep going and I know it’s not my fault and make it through the challenges!!!

[mel...s]

92??! That woman looks damn good. Very vivacious

[lorenrobertson]

This was a very touching and tastefully done testimony. Thank you for sharing this with us. My mother was alcoholic. I never thought I was in that FASD, but now I do think that could be possible. Mother always claimed that she didn't drink much when she was pregnanct with me. But did drink some. And I can really relate to what you told us about your life.

[mrssadieadler]

When my mom was pregnant with me she was using heroine from beginning till the end of the pregnancy I had to be weined off when I was born
I didn’t learn to walk or talk till I was 5 years old
I now have learning difficulties find it hard to socialise with other children when I was a kid
an now I struggle as a adult my mom passed away when I was 2 years old at 25 to drugs overdose I know how you feel 😖😖😖

[laurajanesherman]

What a wonderful way of presenting FASD. Blessings to you as you educate and show the world your gift.

[P.E.R.fishingadventures]

Thank you for this video! I hit 90% of the symptoms of fas and had a mother who drank exesively during pregnensy!
Im going to see a doctor in a week, this explains alot!

[ladywarrior]

I hope mom and you have a great time now! My mother drank heavily while she was pregnant with me. I suspect FAS but docs fight the diagnosis...but now I'm getting my therapist involved and want to see a neurologist to see exactly if things are smaller in my brain than average. Struggling for years and being told "You were a 'bad' kid" or others picking on you. Better yet is the person who totally doesn't care and continues to cause the problems when you fight so hard just to fight to stay alive because you want all the hurt to go away. I do remember a teacher even saying I will never do math well and my grandmother taught me how to do better at it. It me five to six hours to learn what a "normal" child would learn in say 20 mins of homework. I still do not remember what I read and do not understand the things people get from literature that we all are supposed to "get". My mother right before she passed away apologized to FAS from what I understand wasn't named until 1971 and I was born in 69. Back then a woman knew kind of that it was wrong but the prevalence about drinking while pregnant of the education was not forthright and in your face. Mom needs to forgive herself. A lot with the Church of the Nazarene has helped me grow to understand that we don't need that old life.... we have a new life and we all have gifts that God gives to us to use for his GOOD purpose. We are not our feelings. We are just people who need to work a little harder to get things accomplished and to feel good about ourselves especially when society all these years has planted negative thoughts about ourselves into our heads. I am 49 and feel like a weight is lifted off my shoulders with diagnoses. GOD loves you so much and you are never alone! Prayers always, Marie

[deefinley]

I am 56 years old and I have spent the last 16 years running from this diagnosis. I looked for every reason it wasn't I have excellent coordination and a high IQ. So it was easy until it wasn't. Embracing this diagnoses has been very freeing and this video is priceless thank you for sharing and I look forward to more . I have thought about suicide more than I want to admit I'm determined to die of old age. I am looking for a support group thanks again

[TheSouthIsHot]

"Work with making the problem into a gift." WOW.🥰

[carolineevans]

Thank you both for this beautiful video, I have a daughter diagnosed with FASD, she also struggles emotionally, a diagnosis helped us all understand and support her better.

[helenkhorrami]

This is a great video Reinier! I am glad you got some clarity now. But what always have been clear to me is that you are a brilliant man with or without FASD. And I am hoping the diagnosis make that clear to you too :) You have a super brain, just remember that!

[stephanieredondo]

I have a social worker and she doesn't believe I have this I need to show her this video and to let her know not to judge others just cause they can talk sharp and has a career.

Amanda if you're watching this remember everything you did know about me was right

[ithacacomments]

I found out at age 68 that I am on the autism spectrum. Getting the right diagnosis is a journey.

[queenofthebutterflies]

Thanku for bravely sharing your story. I got pregnant after I was told categorically that I would NEVER conceive a child by fertility experts, even with rounds and rounds of IVF. I was so sad. I found out I was pregnant half way thru my pregnancy. My son is 7 is has been incredibly challenging and incredibly beautiful all wrapped up in one. I am now very suspicious he has FASD bc I drank heavily up until I found out I was pregnant. He steals from us, hits us, talks about suicide, it's honestly just devastating. I'm throwing EVERYTHING I have at helping him and I really appreciate all the content online bc it helps me understand him.

[dukesilver]

Thank you for sharing your story of acceptance and hope. It's inspiring and empowering to hear.