Why Do Indians Spend So Much on Weddings?

This week, The Swaddle team explores why Indians love to spend on weddings, and what’s wrong with the 'big fat shaadi.'

Correction: At 0.33 s, three lakh crores is shown incorrectly on screen. It should be 3,00,000,00,00,000.

Editor: Bavana Gone
Art Director: Neha Shekhawat
Presenter: Anahita Sachdev
Visual Researcher: Shambhvi Rao
Creative Director: Shrishti Malhotra
Executive Producer: Karla Bookman

[rowoonswife]

Omg. Thanks for making a video on this topic. Many people dont even consider it an issue but for me it is a matter of a deep concern. The money spent on wedding can be used for some other good purposes. I hope people can realise it one day and start going for a simple wedding or court marriage. Money saved is money earned!

[monicasharma]

My cousin got married two years ago and the spending was around 30 lakhs. It became a benchmark for other people in the family who can't spend this much. My sister isn't even happy after marriage as she had to leave the family with her husband just within a year because of her verbally abusive MIL. I wish Rajasthani people knew the value of education over marriage.

[swatisaini]

Nothing wrong in spending your own money whichever way you want to. The problem starts when people spend their lifetime of earnings or take long term loans just so they can show 'shaan' to their relatives who let's be honest only care about buffet
Also this becomes the reason parents don't want to invest in daughters' education, food or any other type of resource bcoz they are anyways going to spend a f ton on her wedding so why waste more resources on a member that isn't gonna stay in family aftee she becomes adult

[sgsan]

Remember that no matter how much you spend, out of the hundreds of people you invite, most don't care about you and are here to find faults on everything from the looks of the couple to food

[shrishtimalhotra]

It's so strange how we don't question or look down on extravagant spending in weddings. It's especially absurd in our country, where it feels like a display of stark inequality.

[phoenix-ngzh]

Last line was really precious. We should focus on how much happiness a wedding creates rather than how much money they are spending.

[frangipani.]

Thank you! Finally! I never understood this obsession of having a grand wedding. I am going to have a registered court wedding. Will only marry a guy if he is ready for this. I am not spending my money on thankless relatives who only create chaos under the guise of merrymaking😏

[dexterjyots]

Covid lockdowns have shown that marriages can take place with near and dear ones. But wo chaar log kya kahege haunts us

[ReebaSJacob]

The savings for a big fat Indian wedding (especially that of a daughter) begins from the day she's born..coz obviously she needs to be sent away with lots of gold. Being from a South Indian family, I've seen elderly women discussing among themselves about how much gold is the bride wearing, how much is the groom earning, how much is being given by the bride's parents as "pocket money/gift", where are they going for their honeymoon etc.. and then begins the comparison with another wedding/family that spent more. And so I feel that the Indian weddings got bigger & bigger just to show one another that theirs is the best wedding party ever, but some other family overcomes that expenditure to make theirs the best & so on.. this pandemic has been a blessing indeed, that such unnecessary expenditures & extravaganzas have been limited to a great extent.

[PokhrajRoy.]

Amrita Singh in ‘2 States’ talking about weddings was actually quite hilarious 😂

[paranoah]

My father told me about the time when weddings were months long affairs where the entire family would pitch in to help with all arrangements and a lot of the work was done by family and close relatives. I myself remember seeing the traditional sangeet ceremony in the village where women gather playing the dhol and singing and everyone dances and this goes on till late in the night.

I understand that all this is not possible because now all family and friends don't live nearby, but we kept all the rituals and events of the weddings and forgot the spirit behind them and the social bonds. Now people just come and go while everyone close to the bride and groom is busy running around making arrangements. The bride and groom just sit on a stage and nobody really spends quality time with each other. When a Bengali friend got married, she told me there was a tradition where the bride's friends stay up all night talking to her after the wedding before she leaves the house.

I would rather simplify the events and extend the time spend with people since the whole point of calling all those people is to spend more time with them.

[idontcare]

It is sometimes, we the younger generation want a simple wedding or even a court marriage. But it is often the generation of our parents that pressurize to go for a big fat Indian wedding - warna log kya kahenge - that make us succumb to their demands as the day is also special for them.

[dayyanahmad]

So many middle class parents go in depression when they have 2 or 3 daughters because they got worry about their daughters' wedding's expenses.
It's like pressure on them from the society

[ravenclaw_beater]

Recently 2 of my cousin sisters got married within a span of 15 days. On one sister's wedding, they spend so lavishly with food varieties, every function being celebrated at different banquets and we were even given rooms to stay at night, other one's was also good but not that lavish. Now you can imagine what were the gossips among our family 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

[endisnear]

Parents should spend money on kid's education/career not on their weddings.

[jasminbehera]

I'm just 16. But when I see my cousin especially sister's marriages. Those heavy experience lengha which you can only wear once, lodes of jewellery, hundreds of people you wouldn't have even met in ur life, tons of food but u won't be in the mood to eat any of those and incomplete sleep to add up to ur misery. Wedding are just waste of time, money, energy & food.

[pallavipandey]

I was engaged to be married to a man who was from a simple middle class background but had cleared on of the most sort after exam in the country. When we started talking he was all about simplicity and how down to earth he was. The closer we got to the wedding the man's mother started saying things like, this is how we want the functions to be like kahi bezati na ho jaye, dene lene ka samaan esa hona chiye kahi bezati na ho jaye, kept increasing functions and insisting on a lavish wedding. I knew I wouldn't be happy in their family. I spoke with my parents regarding that but they shunned me down saying every boy's side of the family will have such demands and you finally I threatened my family and created a scene to call of the wedding which they did only to realise that almost every family is the same when it comes to their son's wedding. Anyway I am happy I dogged a bullet and came to my senses at the right time. The wedding would have only been a waste of money and me adjusting to the wishes and whims of a man for the rest of my life.

[themonkey]

Even if they spend so much money but if there is no love in the marriage then what's the use of spending so much money. The most of important thing in a marriage is the love and understanding between Man and his wife and if it is there then a simple marriage in a court office is more than enough.

[tod_tod_toddler]

the last line just took away my breath .. it does not matter how much money is spent it is about how happy are people who are involved!

[mohammedsufiya]

The burden of BIG FAT INDIAN WEDDING always falls on the bride's family(generally in poor and middle class families)...This is so ridiculous. One of the reasons why people hate to have daughters is that they have to spend a lot of money in their daughter's wedding... If it is leading to misogyny, why should we encourage this?