Therapist Reacts to Will Smith and Chris Rock

Therapist Reacts to Will Smith and Chris Rock //

The slap heard around the world! Watch this video as Therapist Reacts to Will Smith slapping Chris Rock at the 2022 Oscars. Was this toxic masculinity? Or was it awesome that he defended his wife?

Schedule a complimentary 15-minute Discovery Call with one of our therapists!

#MendedLight
#TherapistReacts
#TherapistReactsToWillSmithAndChrisRock

[theincrediblemrs_e]

After reading his book and watching his mini series leading up to the book. Will talks a lot about feeling like a coward and it being directly tied to not standing up for his mother when she was being abused by his father and running and hiding in other situations where he could’ve protected someone and he hid and how he’s lived with it. He also talked about how his situation with his father has caused him to be a people pleaser and hides a his anger and frustration behind his humor and is very focused on being likable even at his own expense and how all of this has defined him as a man. And he’s working through this through therapy…. I think at the Oscar’s everything boiled over he struggled to find the balance between being the “nice guy” persona and finding the courage to be the protector (which he associates with his manhood)… I also think it’s important to note that he and jada have been the butt end of jokes for 2 years now and he hasn’t been able to protect his family. I think king Richard has given him some courage to try but he has not figured out how to do so in a healthy way just yet. I hope will will find a healthy middle ground through therapy soon

[toribirdliving]

I appreciate how you discussed this without demonizing anyone. There’s been a lot of that but as you said, we’re all human and we slip up at times.

[yarn]

I've only seen one video talking about Will being ADHD, and seeing his reaction shift so quickly, it definitely reminded me of times that my emotional dysregulation/impulse control has gotten the best of me (especially when feeling protective of family/friends). The brain sees RAGE and then it feels like seconds later, reality is back and I'm immediately ashamed and feel terrible about my actions.

Adding in his stress levels with Best Actor nomination and his delicate relationship with Jada, I think it was a perfect storm of trigger points. I don't condone the violence, but I can certainly understand it.

[JessikaSoli]

I really appreciate your example of looking at both sides with compassion and understanding. Too often, we see things in black and white when there are grey areas and so many factors involved in one situation. You give a great opportunity for guided critical thinking and I love it. Thank you for the fresh perspective. So much respect for your channels!

[ellanova]

I heard that Chris Rock was physically (and sexually) assaulted when he was in high school, and that he never learnt how to cope with that trauma in his growing age. I think that slap did more to him than we realise and I genuinely feel so bad for him, despite not wanting to. His joke was bad, period. But this whole situation has me feeling more sympathy for him than for anyone else. It just goes to show the ineffectiveness of using violence to communicate an understandable feeling.

[amandasmith-puti]

For a seasoned professional - Will's behaviour is even more shocking. He could have ripped Chris apart in his acceptance speech or made a public post about how tasteless it was. His reaction suggests he's not doing too well mentally. For a man that grew up in a violent household, he knows the impact violence has on another. He took away his own moment at the Oscars and unfortunately for several others because of his actions. Not a legacy either will be proud of. Violence was not the answer, especially not on a platform being streamed to millions around the world.

[Faithy]

Stephen Colbert said something that I had said to my partner the night it happened, which was that just not laughing would have been painful enough for Chris Rock. I said he could have let the joke fall flat and stayed in his seat yelling what he yelled, if he felt so inclined, and that would have gotten the point across just fine. They were both out of line, but the fact that they both apologized and did it so very kindly shows that lessons were learned on every side. It was definitely "toxic" behavior, but it's good to see that they were both able to take responsibility and can hopefully now move on and be bigger and better people going forward.

[dawn]

Re: "of course they would apologize. It was a PR nightmare." And "the apologies were probably fake."

I've seen a lot of terrible apologies by people with the resources to have a professional write their apology. I think it takes a lot of maturity to agree to post an apology where you are admitting blame. Even if you are still hurt by the other party, or still feel somewhat justified, it shows a professionalism and courtesy not shown by everyone.
I think most people who hurt someone in the heat of the moment or thoughtlessly regret it when they've calmed down.
At this point, since both apologies were very good and addressed the wrong done clearly, I think the public has been given the resolution they need. If the apologies were fake, or there is more resolution needed, it is only between Chris Rock, Will Smith, Jada, the Academy, and possibly certain other concerned parties.

[tiredsnailtrail]

I just want to add my own perspective to this conversation. Firstly, I am a cis woman with health issues and disabilities (not alopecia though), and am a big proponent of having family members or close friends support and advocate for my health issues, particularly because I am not always in a position to do things without assistance. That being said, my family only does so with my consent and within the parameters that I have indicated being comfortable with. If my partner, family member, or friend responded like this to a comment/jibe/joke/etc. about my health issues, I would lose a lot of trust in that person because they have now opened me up for further criticism, judgement, and attacks. I also want to be given the opportunity to respond myself (if I can or want to), in my own voice, without someone else taking my power away from me further by impulsively acting on my behalf. It also perpetuates ableism, by creating assumptions that those with disabilities cannot take any action themselves, but instead must rely on a healthy, able-bodied person to do everything instead. I feel like this incident is something that could have been handled privately, with a public apology made later.

[CathDaddy]

I hate so much that YouTubers are exposed to internet hate, because so many creators (like you!) are SO wonderful and competent and doing really important work. I wish those creators never had to deal with being torn down

[MLEbug]

It's good to hear from someone suffering with alopecia. One thing I noticed with all the immediate press coverage was that it was about the two men in the situation. The one who made the ableist joke, and the one who resorted to violence. No one was addressing the woman who was made fun of, her thoughts and feelings, or respecting that she is a full grown woman who can think, speak and act for herself. She showed great restraint in not into this fight, publicly and riding above the crap.

[discreetscrivener]

The thing I’ve found with laughing as a reaction is sometimes that initial laugh is a tension release. I know sometimes when I’m being vulnerable and feel myself choking up, laughing is me trying to ease that tension. Sometimes it’s reflexive.

[hawaiin]

For the laugh thing, I assumed it was one of those instant reaction laughs that you do in a situation you either haven’t fully comprehended yet or are unsure how to take.
Ya know? Like someone says some messed up joke or sketchy little bit, and at first you’re just huffing a little as you plan out how to go forward?
I remember being younger and someone made fun of me in a group and the only reaction I had for a few seconds as everyone around me laughed was to laugh lightly with them. At least until my thoughts started realigning. Does that make sense?

[sequoiatracystone]

As someone who also struggles with very rosy cheeks, when you shared your childhood struggle with feeling ostracized and feeling overweight that hit like a ton of bricks. I also look back at pictures and wonder why I thought so poorly of myself. I would love if you could do a video about your journey with dealing with body shaming and accepting your rosy cheeks, since I am still struggling and I find myself deeply ashamed and embarrassed of them.

[sharonsomers]

Best response to a hurtful comment about somebody else was from a friend defending her sister. She looked at him, gave him her full attention and waited until she had his. She said "Not cool. Don't do it again." and then held that eye contact until they nodded and then she broke it. It was a line in the sand and it was clear that she was not going to accept his behavior. It wasn't playful and it wasn't physical. It was just a declaration in front of mutual friends that he crossed a line. She was 16 or so and the rest of us were about the same age or younger. But we were all mutual friends. And she was clear that she wasn't going to allow that. It was never mentioned again and it didn't need to be. It was just a moment in time. I don't remember who she said it to. But we were all careful about that line in the sand because none of us wanted to run up against the strength of will it takes to stare somebody down in high school.

[heatherp]

I enjoy your perspective, your ability to talk about the failings of both individuals in the situation, and your choice to highlight the apologies… it’s just very human, empathetic and focused on building up instead of tearing down. Thank you for creating this free content for people, it’s a valuable resource

[peddlinghope]

As a therapist, I’ve been talking with clients about how triggered they felt by the violence they witnessed. Personally, I heard the joke, Jada as GI Jane, as aligning them - strong, powerful, beautiful women. Obviously that was not how she heard it. I wondered more, in the aftermath, about their child saying that’s how we do it in the Smith family. Violence? That worried me.

[AracneMusic]

I remember my initial reaction was: "good, he deserved the slap". And it took a couple of days for me to come to the conclusion that the way Will Smith stood up for someone he loves was not the best. I believe it's because I think that if someone made a joke about either my SO or any other member of my family, and I saw the pain on their faces, I would have slapped the dude twice in the heat of the moment.

Maybe if I had time to sit on the event a couple of minutes, I would just say something like: "That was not okay. You cannot poke fun at a person's appearance. Your joke was pathetic, and in bad taste". But in the moment, the rage most probably would take over me. Which doesn't make it all right, but I'm saying that it's an emotional reaction and in that moment some people might be unable to regain control over their emotions and behaviour that quick.

[kitkatpangirl]

I wanted to let you know, you have made me cry (in a therapeutic sense) more in the past two weeks than I have in 3 years. You are a wonderful person, therapist and just genuinely awesome. Never let anyone hurt you, especially some keyboard nothing warrior.

[lintonharvey]

One takeaway I get from this is how a single bad decision can turn a person from victim to villain and turn a winner to a loser. Before the slap, when Chris Rock told the joke, the crowd turned on him. You heard the groans and he tried to give a weak justification. "Oh come on that was a light one, okay."
Had Will left well enough alone, Chris would've left that stage looking like a heel. Maybe 10% of the people offended would think less of hi., and it would've been forgotten by 90%. But Will didn't. He got up and committed a felony on a live, worldwide broadcast. He risked kicked out, arrested, sued, and blacklisted for life over a wack joke. Will lost a few fans, and tarnished an impeccable image crafted over 30 yrs in less than 10 seconds. Chris, on the other hand, has won the sympathy of EVERY stand up comedian, and many people who saw him physically attacked. His respect skyrocketed for his poise, professionalism, tough chin, and generosity for NOT pressing charges, or responding with some nasty low hanging fruit that could've annihilated Will Smith's fractured ego. (He IS Chris Rock, the G.I. Jane joke really was a love tap by his capabilities.) That's why his concert is suddenly sold out, and one of his lamest jokes could've sparked a comeback. Will may owe him a real apology, but when the dust settles, Chris may owe Will a thank you while counting all his just got slapped money.
The protecting his wife narrative doesn't ride with me. He could've done that one on one, or just shouted his disapproval from his seat. I'm a married man. If I had to slap someone to protect my wife from words I would've already slapped both of her parents, one of mine, two uncles, two cousins, and a niece. Verbal attacks warrant verbal defenses and Will is articulate enough to use his words effectively.