What happens when you loan a narcissist money?

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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.

THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.

[NarcSurvivor]

You will never get the money back. They will say it wasn’t a loan, you gave it to them for free. They will gaslight you.

[jcnlaw]

Experienced divorce lawyer here. If you get a whiff of these narcissistic behaviors during the pre-marital / dating phase, DO NOT marry. Run! Fast! They are brutal to divorce. Save yourself. Protect yourself.

[masquarra]

My narcissistic father always does the “after all I have done for you” “I cannot believe how ungrateful and greedy you are.” This routine and never pays it back

[AlexRodriguez-htzl]

“Don’t borrow, don’t lend, don’t expect it to end well” … spot on Dr. Ramani!!!

[SusanKG]

Another gem I truly appreciate: If you borrow from the narc, you won't be able to afford the "psychological interest rate." Truer words were never spoken!

[skelatonman]

"YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN HELP ME"

[jayy]

Let my narc ex borrow 50 bucks one day and he said he’d pay me back on Friday when he got paid. So Friday comes, then the weekend and then finally Monday comes and he hadn’t mentioned it yet, so I asked him super nicely if he was able to pay me back and this fool says “It’s only 50 dollars, you’ll live.” I fucking lost it lol 😂 I told his narcissistic broke ass to keep it since apparently he needed it more than me and he got upset at ME saying I was being a stingy bitch. The nerve. 🤦‍♀️

[tiacymone]

They argue with you so they don't have to pay it back

[ParadiseLoading]

Scary how accurate this is! It can become a revolving door that never stops spinning! They never know when to stop asking and if you say no, the slathered on layers of guilt that gets smeared all over is astounding!

[alexandrajack]

My ex Narc drained me financially. For 3 years of being with him, I spent about $50, 000 or more. I was doing 2 jobs and supporting him. He is intensely entitled of my money. I'm so happy to be in no contact for a year now. I finally am able to save money.

[SwirlingSpice]

Or they borrow money because they are "too good" to actually go get a job. Thank you for all you do, Dr. Ramani!

[JinxedEvr]

Narc: You deserve to have your money taken because you let me take advantage of you.

[realhealing]

Don't loan. Don't borrow. Just DON'T do anything with a narcissist. Power, control, manipulation and deception is their game. Don't play!

[laurenceboischot]

My N.ex complained early on about his flatmate chasing him for his half of the utilities bills. "I hate it when people remind me I owe them money."
I laughed and replied : "Well, just make sure you don't owe anyone anything."
He looked like he'd bitten into a lemon. 😄

[lorrainevassallo]

My dear father, God rest his soul, shared this wisdom with me:"If you can't afford to give it, don't lend it." I have followed that advice and saved
myself a lot of headaches.

[melbreazeale]

They feel like it’s “owed” to them.

Or, they will list ALL of the things they’ve ever done for you as to why they shouldn’t have to pay

[aynilaa]

My narc sibling is broke because she spent lots of money on herself and her ‘friends’ to keep them around. She refuses to get a job and is adamant our parents have to pay for her because it was “their fault for having children”. They’ll eternally owe you something for putting you in this world.
And does she ever pay it back? Never.

[manwithaplan]

This is my mum who discarded me so she didn’t have to pay me back after repeatedly asking me for money on the premise she would pay me back. She didn’t bother to ask the golden child or my other siblings and only got in touch when she wanted the money. Would not read my texts or return calls and not reply for days and in some cases not reply at all. Only made contact when she wanted money from me and then ghosted when it came to paying back. This was my final proof and reason to cut contact once and for all after years of narcissistic abuse, gaslighting, discarding and ghosting! I still love my mum but she won’t get another opportunity to use and abuse me or my children again.

[eli-bthe]

After my grandmother passed, my sister and I discovered she had taken out a $180k reverse mortgage on her house. This was most likely due to our narcissist mother "borrowing" money from her for basically her whole adult life.

Our mother boasted about how great she was with money and how they didn't even have a credit card (She cut them up after she ran up 18k in one year) She felt she was entitled to family members' money, including mine and my sister's, and didn't view that as borrowing money.

What makes it even more infuriating is she now claims she "never took a cent" from her mother.

[annasaranti]

I did not loan money but gave some extra stuff like a carpet, a computer keyboard (which belonged to my employer, not me), an oven pan, and notebooks. I was gaslighted that I did not remember correctly because I am crazy, paranoid, chaotic, and very entitled to want those things back. The money went into substance abuse. Especially about the oven pan, I was told "do you feel good about yourself that you know I don't have anything to eat"?
They take w h a t e v e r they can take.