Therapist Reacts to MY NEIGHBOR TOTORO

How can you navigate change, stress, or sadness? How can you be a good parent as your kids navigate those emotions?

Licensed therapist Jonathan Decker and filmmaker Alan Seawright look to the absolutely delightful anime My Neighbor Totoro for some of the answers. This film is in many ways a guidebook for warm, affirming parenting as both the mother and father show love toward their children, and listen to their stories and concerns. For all the surreal and fantastical elements in this movie (like the giant cat bus, the soot sprites, and of course Totoro), it shows pretty realistic relationships between Mei and Satsuki and how they deal with their mother's illness. This movie just feels like wrapping up in a blanket of love and goodness.

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Cinema Therapy is:
Written by: Megan Seawright, Jonathan Decker and Alan Seawright
Produced by: Jonathan Decker, Megan Seawright & Alan Seawright
Edited by: Jenna Schaeling
Director of Photography: Bradley Olsen
English Transcription by: Anna Preis

[anmolt]

"It's like a movie made by children, if they could write brilliant screenplays" is the most concise and accurate description of this movie

[marianneconverse]

I always felt for Satsuki, watching Totoro. She has all the same emotions and anxieties as Mei, but feels like she has to keep the bottled up and keep control for Mei's sake. When she finally lets it all go in the aftermath of Mei's tantrum, you realize what a silent burden this has been for her.

[eimichoi]

Alan, teary eyed: just a dad, connecting with his kids in a way they understand.

Me: I NEED TO GIVE YOU A HUG BUT YOU'RE ALL THE WAY OVER THERE.

[emilylescano]

Me: *crying because everything you guys are saying is hitting and making me rethink my most important relationships*
The video: *Rick rolls me*

[Celestein]

I feel like this film is basically a 'slice of life' film, which is sadly rare in Western animation or kids' movies. People too often assume that kids only enjoy noisy, high-action drama but it's not true. Totoro is very immersive and relatable to all ages because it feels like real, heartfelt childhood moments, even the gentle fantasy aspects.

[anothermushroom]

I would love to see an episode on Kiki's delivery service and burn out. It's one of my favorite ghibli movies and has the growth that Kiki goes through is so important

[dylanlamarre]

I love how they don't attribute everything to "Japanese being Japanese". While it is good to acknowledging cultural differences, it's also beneficial to acknowledge what people do on fundamentally human level -- excellent parenting, children being caught up in their feelings, etc..

[Laurakate]

Miyazaki's ability to accurately capture children and how they act is part of why Grave of Fireflies was so gut wrenching.

[joshuahancock]

The dad in this film actually reminds me a lot of my grandfather. We were outdoorsy and imaginative kids, but he tried, as old as he was to be with us as we played. I actually remember him telling us how all the animals and plants had spirits and we had to show them kindness and respect. Maybe this was his way of getting the kids to not wreck the garden, but his approach sounded so magical and made so much sense to a kid. He was a very kind and gentle man.

[gurglequeen]

Please PLEASE do something with Howl's Moving Castle. It's my all time favorite Studio Ghibli movie and it has such an amazing message about self acceptance.

[glauciaakiko]

Hayo Miyazaki’s (the cofounder of Studio Ghibli and co-writer of Tonari no Toronto) mother suffered from tuberculosis when he was 7 years old and she got hospitalized for a few years before being able to receive home care. His family had to nove to the countryside because of that (also because of WW2), so this is a very personal story for Miyazaki. He used his own child memories to write, draw and paint the characters, scenarios and backgrounds; and of course, his child feelings and fears about his own mother to create Satsuki and Mei with very accurate emotions.

[sparxstreak]

17:56 Satsuki is also venting her own frustrations at Mei, she's had to look out for her sister to a far more emotional extent, including making food for her whole family, constantly babysitting Mei (while only being 10 years old) & doing her best to break bad news to her sister in a calm way but when Mei reacts like any 4 year old would, it's all just too much.

[damedeviant]

One scene that stands out to me is the moment when the youngest girl leaves flowers along her fathers desk while he’s working - “You be the flower shop, Daddy.”
I was really touched because I realised that this had to be based on life, someone lived a moment like that. The authenticity of everyday life in these films is really striking.

[carolineengel]

watched this movie with my boyfriend a while back, and I remember him just being amazed by how this dad treats his daughters and him saying "that is the kind of dad I want to be". Just such a wonderful wholesome movie

[jonmichaelgalindo]

"Slice of life" is a Japanese genre featuring this soft beauty that makes us ask "how is it not boring?" The entire series might be as simple as characters camping, or learning to fish, or making pottery. I really love it!
(If this genre also exists in American media, please excuse me, I am unfamiliar with any examples.)

Edit: More specifically the iyashikei (healing) slice of life Japanese genre of anime and manga, but genres are hard to define and agree on. Every story is unique, so it might be difficult to find a story that truly recreates the experience in Totoro.

[wisemoon]

I love how the adults just…BELIEVE the children. They acknowledge that the spirits are real, and that only young children can see them. It’s so wholesome and affirming and sincere.❤

[SouthCountyGal]

The scene where Mei has a tantrum because Mom isn't coming home is a revelatory one. Throughout the movie the focus has been on Mei, cute little rambunctious Mei, with her worrywart older sister trying hard to shepherd her. In this scene, we see all the weight Satsuki carries inside her. Mom might never come home, and Satsuki is very aware of how ill she is. She tries to shield her little sister from that while also shielding her father by being as good and responsible as she can be. This one little scene is when that weight becomes unbearable, just for a moment.

[maryzinhaah]

Because I grew up having all my emotions invalidated by my parents, I always make sure to react bubbly to what my nieces and students tell me...
future parents: when you invalidate your kid's emotions, they feel sad, frustrated and disappointed at you

[a.r]

Something i realize about being Asian and growing up in Asia is that we have a very casual relationship with the supernatural. In a way like ghosts, haunted places and spirits are just part of our daily lives. Whether you believe in it or not. I remember my lecturer in uni even used his home being haunted as an excuse for lack of sleep and being late from class - there are many stories like these. It's funny, it's charming and it's just culture. i lav it.

[Lauren-ynze]

In defence of Satsuki - I don't think in that scene she's trying to 'correct' Mei per se, because that's not her attitude throughout the movie. She's generally very kind and understanding. But she's also just a child, who is also scared about her mother. And at that moment, she doesn't have anyone to turn to, as the father is at work. But she's the 'big sister', and yet again she's got Mei wanting something from her, but at that point, she can barely handle her own fears, let alone deal with Mei's too. It's too much to expect a child to continuously play the role of mother to her younger sibling.