I Don't Know if I'm a Good Person

Discover how to manage health anxiety and the impact of generative AI on our lives. We explore the importance of inner validation and building meaningful connections as we face an uncertain future. It's time to find fulfillment beyond external feedback. #AnxietyManagement #GenerativeAI #MentalHealthAwareness #PersonalGrowth #DigitalTransformation #SelfValidation #HealthAnxiety #BuildingConnections #FutureOfWork #Empowerment

[triciac.]

What a great big brother you have. To be a sounding board for you and give you great advice.
You are a good person Hank, beyond what we see via the internet. Believe in yourself.

[Starlysh]

John's journey of positive self-talk is really inspiring. It's not always easy to believe in yourself. What a great brother.

[finchhawthorne]

I think John’s insight that people are projecting their personal stress onto the possibility of change and thus onto changing tech is so important.

[sabrina_]

“Character is who you are when no one is looking.” I’d bet you’re a pretty good person, Hank. Even when the internet isn’t there to see it. 🙂

[JustineEPhotography]

I watched this yesterday. It absolutely broke my heart to know that Hank Green has the types of feelings that most of us do, when most of us don’t do all the amazing, inspiring and full of awesome things that you do. Like I said under that video, I know it’s part of the problem… seeing yourself as we see you. But we see you as someone who’s devoted the majority of his life decreasing world suck, and working so hard at that. You’ve taught us so much, you’ve created the BEST community, in my opinion, and you’ve even employed people, creating jobs where there were none before. The charity work and all the lives you’ve changed there… Hank… OBJECTIVELY, you’re an amazing person. We all forget TBA sometimes, and that makes us human. But the A never forgets us. This community, and even those who don’t know of Nerdfightaria, love you and your work so much. You’ve got this, man. Seasons come and go, but I think part of this feeling is just getting older. I feel that too. We’re here, and we’re not going anywhere.

[wavesofbabies]

Thinking about the strength it takes for Hank to not just put this incredibly vulnerable moment on the internet, but to make a short of it.

[okayheykae]

The vibe switch between "Unboxing Boxers" and "I Don't Know if I'm a Good Person" is exactly what it's like in my neurospicy brain

[johnchessant]

1:09 "really!? oh interesting. that's not good"

[tbella]

"...if you have a Tumbler 2013 incident..." John is the best!

[maleturtle]

I’m glad you’re here to be vulnerable. Most creators don’t wanna talk about their own moral virtue and how they uphold themselves.

I don’t have any idea what it’s like from your position. Other people knowing you that intensely without you ever directly speaking to them.

And honestly, as the internet evolved, the parasocial relationship between regular people and celebrities has gotten really complicated and hard(at least for me) to understand.
You’re grappling with a very new concept.

[susanegley]

I can not fathom having someone to talk with like this. I am so, so happy for them. ❤❤

[Amy-ohqb]

This comes across as such a beautiful "older sibling" / "best friend" moment, it's very welcome considering I've been doomscrolling for the last hour + feeling panicked over the USA election 😭 terrified for what is to come, I don't even live in America.

[snrn]

John really hit the nail on the head here. And I think the fact that a community as big and as overwhelmingly supportive as Hank's still isn't able to conclusively convince him that he's a good person is a pretty good illustration of why externalising your self-worth is never gonna give you what you need. I also think it's not super useful to categorise people in their entirety as good or bad. I mean, I get it - I'm always a sucker for good conditional formatting in a spreadsheet because it's both easier and feels more immediately rewarding (or motivating, if things aren't looking good) to be able to get a quick overview in a way that abstracts away the messiness of all the underlying data. But like... people aren't spreadsheets. The complexity and the mess of us is something I think we just need to be - at the very least - okay with, if not actively embracing.

Honestly, who would even qualify as an irrefutably good person? If you're into externalising this stuff, maybe you put stock in the way some of our cultures mythologise people like Gandhi, Mandela, or MLK. You can also easily find stories about awful shit they've all said or done. And when we think about classically bad people, I think we oughta acknowledge that that framing only works as well as it does because of our distance from the subject. That's not to say that I think we should be out there shouting down critique in favour of telling a more empathetic story about people who have been or are still actively responsible for causing harm. It's more like this: just as we can intuit that no audience of strangers, however massive, will ever be able to authoritatively judge us in our entirety, we can clearly place ourselves in a similarly incapable audience for all the people who are strangers to us.

Since all we really know of those people is how the stories we tell about their actions relate to our own internal values, I think that's how it makes the most sense to talk about them. Instead of idolising someone, maybe you appreciate their work because something they've done has had what you see as a positive impact on you or others. Instead of demonising someone, maybe you don't want to support them because their actions conflict with your moral compass in a particular way. It's absolutely not as viscerally satisfying to talk about things in those terms, but I think it's worthwhile to be aware of what we actually mean instead of getting lost in the sauce and imagining our emotional perspectives are backed by unchallengeable universal truths.

I guess I took the scenic route to my point, which is that I feel like we can apply the same strategy to both people we do know and even ourselves - the main difference is just a bigger data set and maybe some extra spicy cognitive biases. All that energy people spend on evaluating their conformity to a false binary (man, we really do love those, eh?) is way better spent on a deep dive into understanding exactly what you as an individual value and why. Once you've got that sorted, you can compare your actions to how well they align with those values, but like, you're not a bad person when you make the wrong choice? That happens, and it'll keep happening, and it's especially likely to happen when we're struggling with more stress than usual (so, completely understandable right now - I'm having a rough ride and I'm not even American). It's just a reason to unpack your misstep in a way that encompasses both compassion and accountability - truly doesn't have to be any deeper than that.

[AveiMil]

I percieve you as a good person, even though I don't really know you, because you are a very good and (!) honest science communicator, which I think is a big benefit for the world.

[deathbyTB]

I fuckin love you guys. For many reasons, but the one big one that's been there all along is just seeing the enjoyment of you talking about things that interest you. Hank, watching you follow your curiosity wherever it takes you and then be stoked when you reach some new bit of knowledge *chef's kiss*.
Thanks for being open and vulnerable and supporting each other; you're beautiful people and I'm thankful to have you both on earth.

[SammiesDavisJr]

After years of working in health care, supporting people in recovery from eating disorders, I had to stop due to health issues. Just the other day I was sitting in a coffee shop and found my hand writing the words "I don't know if I'm a good person anymore". Without the performance of "goodness" I am also at a loss to whether I am actually defined as "good" - especially grappling with my new personal limits and capacity to do "good" as I have defined it. So maybe a new definition?

I don't have clear answers, but I see you Hank, if you read this. Just the other day I was drinking my favourite tea and thought "what a good tea". And then I finished the tea and saw my favourite mug and thought "what an excellent mug". Holding its own and good enough without the promise of tea.

[tabularasa]

John will steer you the right way, good wise brother

[KY_CPA]

I absolutely believe that every self doubt and negative experience has at least one of the best benefits we can get from any experience - the ability to relate with others & help talk to others about things we learned & coping skills we gained. You never know when that's going to be the thing that makes it just click for someone else & turns out to be beneficial for others. I am now thankful for all my hardships along the way, as they have taught me better coping skills I was able to then use and teach to my autistic son trying to navigate the world.
John is proving this point by putting to use his therapy skills and positive mental health gains to use in talking through these illogical doubts with Hank.
Much love to you all 💞

[humuhumunukunukuapuaah]

The advice given here is spot on! You have learn to be happy with yourself and believe in your own motives and actions separate from others judgements. Everyone will tell you what they think of you, but at the end of the day, they’ve not lived your experiences, they’ve not had to make the choices you’ve had to make. Only you can really know whether or not you’re a good person.

[JayBirdJay]

Watching two brothers just hanging out like this makes me so happy. You two are splendid