Using Echolalia as an Autistic Adult (Autistic Conversation Skills)

We most commonly associate echolalia with children, and from neuronormative standards, it can seem like a failure to develop language normally. When language doesn't seem to make sense we can forget that it serves a purpose and can indeed be extremely useful.

In this video, I share how I (deliberately) use echolalia (and similar strategies) as an autistic adult as a central part of well-developed (and socially appropriate) communication skills.

TIMESTAMPS:
00:00 - Echolalia - what does it mean?
00:49 - Introduction
02:04 - Copying other people's words
04:42 - Echolalia as a listening skill: Repeating back or parroting
06:01 - My Conversation Strategy
06:50 - Leveraging my strength: Auditory Memory
08:20 - Scripting
10:00 - Echolalia -meaningful? or meaningless?
12:39 - Do you use Echolalia?

CHANNEL LINKS:
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// WELCOME TO ASPERGERS FROM THE INSIDE!!

My name is Paul and I discovered I have Aspergers at age 30.

Yes, I know, I don't look autistic. That's exactly why I started this blog, because if I didn't show you, you would never know.

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This blog started off being just my story, but I've learned SO MUCH about my own condition
from meeting others on the Autism Spectrum that now I make sure to feature their stories as well.

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// WHAT TO EXPECT FROM THIS BLOG

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Everything I do is and endeavour to go deeper and take you 'behind the scenes' to understand what may, at first glance, seem 'odd'.
oh, and I love busting stereotypes and turning preconceptions upsidedown :)

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// ABOUT ME

I discovered I have aspergers at the age of thirty.
It has been my life's mission to understand these funny creatures we call humans.
My special interest is a combination of emotional intelligence, psychology, neuroscience, thinking styles, behaviour, and motivation. (I.e. what makes people tick)
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Peace,

~Paul

[linden]

I really love this analysis. I agree completely it is ignoring reality and the chance for insight to just call it meaningless. Lots of common human behaviour is echolalia-like - memes and quotes as you say, also idioms, mantras, chants, communal prayer, other ritual language, song lyrics, etc. What echolalia means to the person only they can say, if an observer doesn't see meaning it doesn't mean it's not there. It yet again represents the value of autistic people being the ones to discuss autistic experience.

In my family we have sayings, usually cute or funny phrases said by one of us as a young child and they stick and get brought up again and again. It's a very bonding thing as it's nostalgia and memory and fondness for the child-self and their view of the world. Most (maybe all?) cohesive social groups have in-jokes that are short-hand to express a history, bond and understanding.

My brain does a couple of echolalia-like things that I don't currently see much function in - adding song lyrics to the end of sentences for example. Sometimes that annoys me. But I think it's a brain seeking connections and patterns and most of the time my brain does that it's a wonderful thing, so I can forgive it for prompting me with random lyrics from songs I dislike now and then! 😆

[billybee]

I had an “intern” (we called em interns but they were high school summer help) working for me that is an Aspie. He is high functioning somewhat like my son and I. Long story short, he always quoted/spoke like characters from “King of The Hill”. One day I caught him dozing off multiple times, and once he fell asleep I walked up and smacked the back of his chair and said “Damnit Bobby! Wake Up!”(I do a somewhat good Hank voice). His head popped up and he quickly told me he wasn’t sleeping like anyone would do, but later on in the day he complimented my Hank impression. It gave me smile even though I had to get on to him for sleeping several times after that. lol

[davidroddini]

Had something along those lines happen today at work. A situation came up that made me think of a comment made in a video on another YouTube channel I am subscribed to. I felt it was appropriate to the situation; so, I blurted out "I must really love so and so because after all, 'Love is what keeps you from barbecuing others when they so deserve it'".

Needless to say, I got some very surprised looks!

[resourceress]

I have a channel inside my brain that repeats words all the time. And like people have said in other comments, often that channel is rehearsing words and phrases in foreign languages and I think it just is on auto replay and sometimes I have to look up what the vocabulary means because I have forgotten but the repetition channel is still grooving on those words.

It's only recently that I started thinking of it as internal echolalia. Most of the time I'm not choosing the words consciously. And most of the time I don't feel the need to say them out loud. They're already being said in there. :)

[dainternetkatze]

I copy the way other people talk and what they say quite often. Sometimes I am even afraid, the "copied person" could notice. It does not really happen on purpose, their words just kind of become my own words. I also imitate noises, but only if strangers are not around . I script, what to say and what to do in different situations on a daily basis, never thought that could be a part of echolalia, too. Thank you for your positive perspective on echolalia👏! Until now I dismissed my habits as just useless and strange, mixed with a feeling of shame.

[cbrooks]

I’m a walking movie/lyric quoter. Sometimes my echolalia does break up the rhythm of a conversation when someone doesn’t know the quote or lyric, but the times they do get it makes me really happy. Those are shared moments I have, and many of them are funny. My girlfriend loves it and doesn’t see it as a negative thing at all which is great because I can quote stuff all day long and she doesn’t get annoyed. One of my favorite echolalia memories we share was when we were talking about our disdain for the way our nation has been indoctrinated. That’s when I busted into my best Serj from System of a Down impression and sang INDOCTRINATION… OF OUR NATION! INDOCTRINATION… OF OUR NATION!! SUBJUGATION OF DAMNATION SUBJUGATION OF DAMN NUH!! 🤣🤣 we both died laughing from the outburst because it was sudden and obnoxious but 400% relevant to the conversation. It was like a perfectly placed punchline. That’s how I feel every time something like this pops in my head and almost like someone with Tourette’s, I have to say it, if not out loud, at least to myself.

[ddpwe]

I was taught to do this in college for my RMT program. They called it 'active listening', you repeat back what they've said in clarifying questions as you gather information for direction of therapy. Helped a ton for me, even outside of school/work, as I wasn't always very....involved in conversations. Although, I do script pretty much everything, I don't have the memory for repeating back quotes and such.

[oaschbeidl]

My brain spits out movie quotes, songs and other obscure references all the time. It can be triggered by overall context in the conversation or just single words or phrases. Definitely a great way to relay a set of thoughts or emotions quickly to those who can decipher it!

[ryn]

So 4 out of 5 of my immediate family members are aut!stic and in our home it was normal that if you really liked a sentence someone just said (you thought it was funny or awesome or whatever), you'd repeat the exact phrase in the exact intonation they used, because you wanted to try saying it too, like tasting it for yourself, or you'd want to emphasize the funniness or awesomeness or something.

I think this is a form of echolalia, but I've never heard anyone else talk about this phenomenon, so I don't know if that's correct. I know that it's not normal neurotypical behavior, because when I did it to friends or classmates, they'd think I was mocking them.

[OperationDarkside]

This really hits close to home. I didn't know there was a term for that.
- For me it's part of song lyrics. Everytime I hear someone say something, that matches a song quote I want to continue the lyrics and maybe sing along
- Something I never heard someone else describe before: Everything that's human language that I hear repeats back in my head. That's the way I can listen to people, because there's no direct translation. Only when the voice in my head repeats it, I have a chance of understanding. Problem is when I run out of capacity, that inner voice starts lagging behind and I have to interrupt my conversation partner, if I can, and wait until the voice has finished repeating. This is often the point I repeat verbally what the other person said, or at least parts of it. This is the same voice that prepares "scripts". Everything I say or write, has to be said internally before I can write it down. Here's the problem, that my mouth/fingers are most often much slower, than my mental voice. That's the point I omit words when writing or stutter while talking. Oh, and that mental voice can be interrupted by real world voices, that's why I can't concentrate on language production when I hear some talk.
- I think I did stim with words when I was younger, but not anymore. Probably peer pressure.

PS: And now I wonder if there's pear pressure or pier pressure.

[ryantaintor]

Yes, I do alot. I notice myself doing it mainly when I am alone and not around other people. When I am around others, that gets masked over as I am totally conscious of how I sound. Scripting is something I do without people around as well and sometimes scripting involves how I plan to mask certain things I may think which I deem as sounding inappropriately too much like echolalia. There are many times when masking, scripting and echolalia all seem to be closely involved with each other in certain circumstances.

[Gir]

Okay, so 50 billion things... - The repetition of certain words for clarity reminds me of Japanese aizuchi I believe it’s called, a conversational style/structure where the participants make utterances back and forth before proceeding, like two blacksmiths taking alternating turns hammering a single piece of metal. I see it as a true signal that proves you’re engaged in the conversation, and when it stops you instantly know the person doesn’t understand so the silence prompts the speaker to elaborate... Negotiation experts from my culture have taught me that repeating back a word someone says often prompts them to elaborate on whatever you’re repeating. The idea is that you’re implying you don’t know something about the topic or are confused about it etc etc and usually the other person will sense that and explain whatever you repeated... I’m undiagnosed but watching your videos and those of others have made me designate this year the ‘year of epiphanies’ for me LOL, because I’ve always felt like a complete misunderstood alien, always wondered why I was different (in a way that’s only striking when most people are roughly similar), and never thought I’d have an answer for this lifelong quest of mine to discover why, and subsequently find a way to bridge the gap. But this explains literally EVERYTHING to me, and it’s so uncanny finding people I can truly relate to for the first time on a level like this. It’s mindblowing and almost too good to be true, and now the more I dive into it it’s like a goldmine of explanatory power and suddenly I have all these great tips and methods on how to manage my life and get more out of it from people with a similar perspective. Anyway, I’ve realized I’ve been stimming verbally my entire life. I’ll just say things for the sheer mouthfeel/sensation of it, and sometimes it can be exciting enough to make me laugh. I like deliberately mispronouncing words and do it almost impulsively for fun, trying to find the funniest way to say something, and sometimes others find it contagious. I always assumed that I’m just a weird eccentric artist so of course I’m going to be obsessive over words, the tools at my disposal for art creation. But this is all way more consistent with my general behavior even outside any artistic context. Also, someone here in the comments mentioned palilalia I think it’s called, and through defining that I just discovered “cluttering” and OMG I’ve been struggling with that for my entire life and just discovered it has a name and even a solution to it by speaking slower and articulating more. (Basically when I get excited and have too many thoughts at once I can’t decide which one to express (prioritize which idea is more important to explain first in order to provide the listener necessary context) so I seize up and interrupt myself and then cant speak.) I just started practicing speaking slower because of your “oversharing” video (which seems like it’s working so far!) so I have more time to think and therefore summarize my thoughts to people (spare them of having to listen to a monologue of me process my thoughts verbally in real time instead of just thinking for a second longer before I speak) but managing my cluttering is yet another incentive to do this because it prevents my thoughts from becoming disorganized. Also gives me time to breathe LOL! I speak slowly, and therefore more effectively. As you can see, I tend to be quite verbose and writing at length like this is absolutely normal to me. They say cluttering affects writing as well as speech. I’ve already tested out this ‘be slower’ solution while speaking and realized my excitement over having 20 sudden ideas I want to express at once (which normally derails my ability to organize my thoughts) can be channeled by articulating my intonation and using expressive hand and facial gestures, like I used to do as a kid but stopped doing for some reason, I hypothesize because of masking. Speaking slower makes me feel like I’m suppressing that excitement, but by channeling it into intonation and gesture (instead of speaking faster) it actually feels really good to use this almost hyperbolic verbal articulation and gestures, it feels so EXPRESSIVE, and it also allows me to communicate SO much more clearly. I haven’t figured out how to apply this to text though LOL, hence why I can’t sum up this comment when I have so many associations I want to share and am typing like a madman. Thanks for your time and efforts though, I truly appreciate it beyond words!! I feel like I can have genuine relationships for the first time in my life and real connections and LOVE and it’s indescribably amazing. People liking me for who I really am is life changing and so validating. Especially it’s amazing to figure this out at 26, compared to thinking this whole time that I would be misunderstood and alone forever. I still get overstimulated but at least I finally know why!! Talk about a new lease on life!

[autisticgaming]

Before I knew I was autistic, I used to do this all the time when I was way younger. I even still do it now every so often when it comes to having to remember to do something. But when I was younger like around kindergarten and 1st grade, I would repeat what someone like a teacher in school would tell me to tell my mom that like a event was going on in the school for example over and over again till my mom picked me up way later that day. Looking back I used to wonder what was wrong with me and why I would do that. Well now I know that I was autistic and many other autistic people experienced the same thing. Glad to know I wasn’t crazy or anything back in kindergarten and 1st grade lol.

[wmdkitty]

I find echolalia useful in learning new languages.

[AmbieJoi]

I often repeat what I hear in my mind or the most important parts out loud to the other person. I go over it to process and recall memories from similar situations, or times when I had the same feelings. I also have a very good memory the way you do, Paul! I also use a form of scripting for situations but I don't make it rigid. I come up with key points or ways to say things based on how the situation goes. I try really hard to keep things organic, it's gotten much easier over the years!

[crazyratlady]

I've always used scripting, especially when I have to talk on the phone. It's ended up being quite useful in my job, as I regularly have to handover important information in a structured and consistent way. Scripting helps me to figure out how I'm going to prioritise and organise the information into a narrative that I can easily remember and communicate. It's also a strategy I use for 'masking under the mask' because about 90% of my spontaneous working vocabulary is vine memes and song lyrics.

[acutelyalex]

I definitely use echolalia as an adult. I have ADHD and I don't think I have ASD, but there is such an overlap that I find ASD resources helpful.

One of the biggest lightbulb moments for me in this video was right at the end: "do you stim using words?" I never thought about it that way! Sounds have always tickled something in me, and I find echoing them back to be pleasurable. I actually studied music in university for four years. I've never considered it could be a stim in the ND sense, but that's totally what it is.

I absolutely use echolalia as a way of processing information. I used to do it a lot more as a kid. I would get very frustrated by the fact I could repeat EXACTLY what someone was saying to me, but it was just a collection of sounds with no meaning. When I found out what echolalia and auditory processing delay was it all made more sense.

Thanks for the videos!

[katheriney]

Thanks for this nicely done video, Paul.

To answer your question about using echolalia, I'm not sure about my example, but I always have a song or part of a song that comes to mind in conversations. When I share it, it sometimes is understood and liked by others, but at times, it's an obscure reference or they think I'm a little quirky.

One difference between this and ordinary quotes is that I usually sing the song. I tend to "break into song" quite frequently.

[gillywild]

I think what they mean by “meaningless repetition” is the habit of repeating a word or phrase over and over either to yourself or to others. Probably because it feels good, like a stim. Like saying biscuit, biscuit, biscuit. I often repeat words or phrases in my head because I like the shape of them. I do sometimes use phrases in conversation just because I like how they feel, & this can get me into trouble because they might not be quite appropriate :(

[Haze]

Just when I think you've listed off every single Autistic trait I have (and there's a lot; undiagnosed, but I'm pretty certain I'm Autistic), you come along and state another perfect one!
I consistently quote things as a reaction to situations, without really thinking about it, even if the source is really obscure and no one else will get it.
I also have a strong habit of, possibly related, copying movie characters. If I watch a movie and really resonate with one of the characters, I tend to find myself imitating them to an extent over the next few hours/days.