Genuine Forgiveness Doesn't Mean Tolerance

Dr. K’s Guide to Mental Health explores Anxiety, Depression, ADHD, and Meditation with 150+ video chapters in a Final Fantasy-inspired skilltree.

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[nerfherder]

We don't forgive others for their sake, we do it for our own. "Resentment is like drinking poison and expecting it to harm the other person."

[brqbui]

Forgiveness tends to be confused with reconciliation.
The other party still needs to either show awareness that they are aware of their wrongdoing or not be offended when told they are forgiven.

[randomyoutubecommenter]

"You can't keep doing shitty things and then feel bad about yourself, like that makes it okay."
— Todd Chavez

[_points]

I had to tell my friend on Friday that she was treating me horrifically. She told me she was sorry and gave me a teary apology, i know it was actually genuine. But everyone acts like I'm the bad guy for telling her that she treated me horribly. I can only put up with so much

[meganboyer]

I actually briefly had a therapist who could not get this through her head. I was trying to forgive my brother and his wife for emotionally and financially abusing me and no matter how many times I explained that I just wanted to let go of the bitterness and resentment for me, she thought I wanted to reconcile. Obviously, I no longer see that therapist.

[Karts.Arts]

I remember reading this in the book 2 States. The character Krish was able to forgive his abusive father when a guru that he saw told him forgiveness means he's really just letting go of the hurt that his dad caused him and that he doesn't have to carry the burden of what his dad did anymore. Real gem of a lesson I carry with me to this day.

[Danbecker]

Hearing "forgive don't forget" from a therapist is so vindicating.

The amount of people that have done something shitty to me and then want it to be "reset to zero" just because they said sorry.

I can forgive you and also not want to be a victim of your behavior again.

[Hivatel]

Forgiveness just means letting go of the conflict. It doesn’t mean you'll want to try again. That's up to you.

[bertlemoi]

I was talking to someone about all the shit my mother did to me and when I said, "I will never forgive her for that!" The person told me that "There is a difference between forgiving someone and forgetting someone did something. You can -and should- forgive someone for what they did. But that doesn't mean that you have to forget that they did that." These words changed me and my past substantially.

[jackwilson]

Best way I heard it put was “forgiveness is simply the promise not to retaliate” nothing more nothing less

[ghostyliss]

You can also let go of resentment and conflict WITHOUT forgiveness, too.

[boonecrasher]

I was genuine when I told my ex "i forgive you" after she cheated on me. But i can't forget and don't want that in my life. Now she calls me toxic for that. Forgiveness isnt about the other person. It's about and for yourself 🙏🏾

[Shadbraw]

Forgive, not because they deserve forgiveness, but because you deserve peace.

[steggopotamus]

People who care about you could never imagine expecting you to reset your expectations after they screwed up.

Someone who is genuinely sorry for cheating would be willing to recognize that many relationships can't recover from that. People who don't care about you just want to pretend your feelings and emotions don't matter and reset you like an NPC.

They'll have to learn eventually that their worldview is a childish fantasy.

[michellebrickner]

I forgive the man who attacked me. That doesn't mean I'm gonna ask the court to release him from prison. He got a life sentence for a reason.

[lilhax]

Thanks for opening a yt channel dr k.you’ve been a massive help to millions.stay blessed ❤

[Raithization]

This is the first time someone has explained forgiveness to me in a way that didn't tick me off.

[tokiomitohsaka]

100% agreed. I can forgive someone for hurting me, but I don’t trust them enough to have them in my life afterwards.

[dancole]

I cut off a friend for various reasons, and even after he stole from me I forgave him immediately, but kicked him out of my life. He keeps calling every few months in hope of rekindling the friendship but he can't understand the 'no' is permanent and I've moved on. He's convinced I 'hate him' when actually I love him and wish him the best. I just don't want to invite unhealthy crap or immaturity in my life.

[HunterWolf]

"Forgive, don't forget" YES!
The only reason to "forget" is if they never did anything wrong in the first place. The innocent don't need to be forgiven; the guilty should not be forgotten.