On how we talk about about people's bodies

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[psycold]

Good for you for going sober man. I used to be a massive pothead for over 20 years. Then I hit 30 years old and added drinking to that, things all kinda came crashing down for me around 36. Now I've completely quit pot and I manage to only drink some wine on the weekends, I still want to quit completely but I'm not ready. I'm single though and don't have many friends or a social life so I'm trying to work on that side now. I'm glad you have your wife by your side to help you through this. I've learned a lot from you and you are a rare force for good in this world.

[jonsnowver]

I genuinely think that you're one of the most insightful people on this website. Thank you for making your videos.

[Leonardlinzer]

8:55 hit different... to someone who has been varying degrees of overveight for all of their childhood until I was 22, this was the most relatable sentence if them all.
Love you Adam. Realy, if the persona you show us on the internet is close tot he person you really are, you should be proud! Take care

[jttigera]

Thanks for sharing your experience so openly and honestly, Adam. Hope you're doing well 9 months out

[michaelrosamilia]

Beyond the specific topics, you're doing a good thing just by using your platform to demonstrate self-awareness about your, in your words, "microcelebrity" and have the kinds of conversations about Internet communication and culture and it's evolving challenges that most people with platforms don't because it's not always great for the algorithm. Sometimes it just takes a frank conversation to get people's gears moving. It's appreciated.

[elliottchoi]

As a person who lost 90 lbs and still struggles with body image, this video resonated with me. ESPECIALLY the part about people treating you differently

[blackbriarmead]

I think we are very similar Adam. I’m a Responsible Adult (Tm), but I really struggle to balance stress and life. I feel like my weight is contributing to less mental focus and more stress, and as a software engineer who is working remotely, I kind of feel crazy while sitting at my desk in a 500 sqft 1 bedroom apartment I share with my boyfriend and 2 cats I’ve lived at for 3 years. I tend to find ways to escape. I often go for drives in my manual 350z for no reason other than to drive. I go to the park and walk. But I still frequently find myself consuming alcohol, weed, and food.

I am moving to northwest Denver in a month, to change my environment to be more to my liking. The ridiculous heat here in southern Texas sucks, and I feel like I’d have a lot more opportunities for enjoyable outdoor recreation. I’d also be living near family.

I feel like I can’t go on “kicks” because I know it will probably be short lived. Maybe it’s self defeating.

My greatest comfort is knowing that life is going pretty well statistically, I have a long term relationship and a high paying job that I got after college at the beginning of the year. It’s got me thinking “what now” and “what is the point”, and now I need to find the answer for me

[patrickshaw]

I appreciate your very nuisanced approach to this topic. Perhaps you will not see this comment, but for the sake of keeping within line of thinking, all I will say is I am happy for the progress you have made, and it inspires me to make changes for myself! I am in my 20s, with bad habits, I feel aimless and depression is something I fight daily. In a weird way, you talking about your life helps me find perspective.

[Revegelance]

This is an important video. Thank you for this dialogue, Adam.

[micahrobbins]

Ok I have a bit of a problem with "when in doubt, say nothing". That was my natural way of thinking, and the problem with that was that I just could not interact with people authentically without risking offending the other person. The price I paid for believing that was social anxiety and self isolation for way too long. It sucks because on the other side, I know exactly how it feels to not be able to go outside without being triggered in some way. I don't have a perfect solution, but unfortunately I think everyone just has to hold their own insecurities and be willing to communicate boundaries when they are crossed. It's hard, but it's probably more sustainable for everyone, provided you learn to accept that initial hurt

[verablack]

I am fine with the idea I shouldn't be able to comment on someone else's body without a good reason, but what really makes me angry is people telling me I can't comment on my own body, because what if someone felt bad about themselves based on what I thought about myself. I am all for maintaining good social order, but I had to leave all body positivity spaces because they would try to police how I spoke, and even how I thought about myself, and over time got more and more anti-fitness.

I was first attracted to the space because I like being a muscular woman, but back in the day at least it was considered gross and unfeminine by many people and I had thought I found people who were on the same page as me, in that we should all be able to look how we want without being insulted about it. I swear it used to be a different scene, but people now call me fatphobic and bigoted because I personally like working out and take progress photos? That is just a bridge too far for me.

[BothellPlaysMusic]

My wife asks me about what I see when I look at her on occasion. I honestly tell her that the physical changes she's gone through have nothing on our experiences.

This is a little cheesy for a para-social relationship, but Adam I look at you and see the culinary knowledge I've learned to value. That's the visual stimulus I receive seeing you and it's a positive one.

[lilsabin]

I just thing it is a question of culture and education .
In My familly (I was not born in the americas), if someone will take on too much weight or lose too much weight in a short amount of time, we would tell them .
BECAUSE of their health ... So the way we will approach it is, hey, you took/lost a lot of weight recently, are you okay ? etc.

[Exiled_Rouge]

I would like to know, for the sake of personal curiosity, why some channels do place two intros on videos.

Now, I am not just being cheeky here. But a problem with this is that one can have a genuine curiosity or see a question as completely benign. While either the creator or passing observer of the comments section might take it another way.

I recall a comment I left a few years ago on a woodworking forum where I asked about the choice of wood stain used. This was just a flat out, "Is there a reason why you used that particular stain?" question.

Some other guy, not the creator, took it to mean a damning critique. Where as I simply wanted to know if there was any special use case for it as applied.

While I do think "social media" does invite a fair amount of a-hole behavior. I think it is as common that creators, publishers, performers, and so on of media don't have the emotional or psychological temperament for social media.

What I mean by that is I often see creators & performers react strongly to commentary that is rather mild as if the entire world is coming at them for some minor quibble.

I understand that may be honest feels, but logically, the personality that can't discern harsh or rude commentary from conversation, questioning, etc- probably is ill made for social media to start with.

[AudreyYun]

on the pregnancy when i was gaining weight i legit had ppl congratulate me on being LOL. double fuckin whammy (i have fertility issues)

[jonsible]

I dont think "Why does this video have two intros?" was a good example. I know you what mean and it's totally valid to delete your old comment. But unlike bodies that happen to be attached to people in videos, the comments section *is* an invitiation to comment on the content and production. Your body is not the content here, but your script is.

Your point is well taken, being considerate about how we comment is important and a reflection of who we are.

[TheLwner]

re: 'why two intros?' why is that question problematic in your estimation? it seems harmless to me, particularly if you actually wanted an answer, if it was meant rhetorically I could see it as at least "snarky".

[mattihaapoja]

But nobody is talking about the fashion choices???

[ligamentless]

The worst thing about being a fat kid who grew up to lose that weight is that all of your social fears about being fat are confirmed.

[cparks]

Sorry to hear that you're baseline experience with life is poor. I drink a bit myself, but it's because I like the taste of cocktails. It's shocking to hear your words. I really hope that things improve.