German VS American BOYFRIEND CULTURAL DIFFERENCES 🇺🇸🇩🇪 | Body, Dating, Marriage, Being Approached...

In this video, I compare the differences that I noticed between my German boyfriends that I've had and the American boyfriends that I had! (US vs Germany). So: the dating differences. I've lived in Germany for 2.5 years so I've had some time to collect some differences :) I also talk about subjects of: Body hair, armpit hair, hair style, compared to California style, directness, shorts, dating apps, meetings in bars and clubs, being approached, the talk: asking will you be my girlfriend?, who pays for dates, being TOO honest, WhatsApp communication style, pet-names: Schatz, Babe, Sweetie, Süßer, Süße, longterm differences: marriage expectation 5 vs 10 years, not getting married? Married before age 30?

Please subscribe, like the video, and follow along every week for a new video. :) I give expat tips for living in Germany, cultural difference videos, and tips on how to learn German!

[HiFromHamburg]

Hi guys. Comment approval is on. If you leave a comment that is hateful, criticism without constructiveness, or anything that is not kind, think carefully. I hope you liked this video. :)

[klauskleber]

I would love to hear everything, even when it's "bad" stuff about Germany. :)

[SArmst]

Hi from Massachusetts. I find your commentary to be very sensitive and thoughtful. Please do not worry about "internet hate" or negative comments. Good luck on your studies or work!

[IWishIHadThatOne]

I am a German woman, aged 30, and my first reaction to some of your points was "No, that's exaggerated". But on second thought, your observations are quite accurate, I think.
I am truly shocked though that you were called out on your armhair by some guys. Makes me wanna apologize on their behalf 😅 Take on a little of our German bluntness and tell them to shut up, if it ever happens again 😏
Men over 40 are usually the exact opposite. They don't shave any of their bodyhair and mostly wouldn't expect their girlfriends/wives either. Keeping your pubic hair for example is totally normal for men AND women born before the 80's. I personally dislike the social pressure to shave (almost) everywhere very much.

And yeah, we still have some old-timey traditions for unmarried men who turn 30 and unmarried women who turn 25 ( 🙄 yeah, I know). But those are just an excuse for a fun party and drinking games in public 😄

And I realised only now that there are a lot of couples in my circle of friends who have been together for about 10 years before they got engaged or married. Those are all couples that got together in high school or their early twenties. They would usually wait until they are in their thirties before getting married. But when you are already a little older and know your place in life, you might tie the knot much sooner.

Ooohh, and yeah, most German men won't approach you easily in a bar, let alone somewhere else. That can certainly be frustrating when you are open to flirting but too shy to make the first move yourself. If you do dare to initiate it's usually rewarded, though😉 There's also hardly any catcalling here, at least nothing like I experienced while travelling. That's the upside.

Sorry for the long text. I'm extremely bored in this endless lockdown. Have a nice sunday!

[Pewtah]

8:33 You speak about a very interesting point I was not always aware as a German: speaking the english language while thinking the german way can confuse native english speakers because of cultural differences. When being in foreign countries I try my best to learn the culture, but I am not always aware about every difference.

[eyeeyeoh]

I am a man from Middle East and from my childhood I was taught to pay for my date. But I find splitting the bill fair and transparent way to display that there are no obligations at this point. I am now married to a German woman and I pay the bills because we are a family now and my income is much higher.

[kristymedina]

Hi!
I am also an American living in Hamburg 🇺🇸🇩🇪

I find your videos very humble and honest!
I love it. 😊

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[izabel]

As someone from CA w a German husband this video is super accurate! ♥️👍

[steinmetzaesthetica]

I guess I am quite a bit beyond your typical age group, but I find your videos interesting because I am a German who has spent several years in various places in the US ( mainly Ohio and California). Therefore this idea of comparing everyday life in the two countries is well known to me.
Most of what you say in this vid, I agree with. I always found it funny, how a lot of American guys are quite obsessed with girls’ body hair ( mainly legs, armpits and pubic hair), but never even consider shaving their own body hair. Still, your experience regarding hair on arms or hands is kind of unusual, I’d say.
I can relate with the thing about being rude by being honest, but I really think that your interpretation regarding the subtleties of the English language is quite spot on. Many Germans speak some English, but maybe not as well as you might think based on first impressions.
Paying for dates: I never let a girl pay when I asked her out for a date, but I guess I am kind of old school in that respect and probably was so even at a younger age. 😉

[kristiwyckoff]

Interesting hearing about current body hair trends in Germany. I was there several decades ago and women there did not shave. The teens our group was staying with criticized us for shaving - even giving us an article about how shaving is unhealthy. I was surprised what a big deal it was to them. Oh, I am American.

[angiechan]

I don’t get how anyone could be angry about anything you said in your videos so far.

[rexmcstiller]

I also dosn´t like voice messages as a german. Eather text or a phone call.

[Pewtah]

About german honesty & directness. In Germany dishonesty for the sake of politness is percieved as impoliteness. When growing up in Germany I never heard the slogan "Say nothing if it is not nice." Instead I learned "Say critics in an honest, constructive and friendly way.". I like that way much more than saying nothing or saying lies because where is the chance for improvments and for trust when hearing fake answers?

Example: "You're invited to my birthday party the next weekend. Will you come?" and your answer is "No":
Non-german style: "Yes." (always, even if you can not come; in Germany that is percived as a lie and lies are impolite)
Germany style: "I'm sorry, next weekend I'll have another plan and can not celebrate with you. But what about a meeting at the day after that to make a little post-celebration with just two of us?"

Close to the slogan "Say nothing negative." are the german sayings "You do not need to say everything that is true, but what you say should be true." and "Talking is silver, silencing is gold." knowing that silver is worth less than gold and meant as: Unnecessary or inappropriate things are better left unsaid. But if you ask a German for an opinion no German will become a liar, instead he/she will speak the truth.

[kasiaaz]

Girl your are so cute, intelligent and smart person, I started watching your channel and I definitely stay with you for longer :) I am so into America, American English language and American style, live in Germany with my German boyfriend (close to HH) and I am originally from Poland. I send you a big virtual hug! :) Kasia

[thomaswolf]

"Reden ist Silber, Schweigen ist Gold" ist aber schon dicht dran an "better say nothing at all"

[voodjin]

"If you have nothing nice to say, don't say it at all"
"Wenn du nichts nettes zu sagen hast, dann sag lieber gar nichts"

[zaxarus]

Hello, greetings from Hamburg.
I really like your channel so far, especially the "naturel" style.
I first started with similar channels from the other side, so to say, like "German Girl in America", if you know the channel.
Now i'm interested in channels with viewpoints from both sides of the pond.
About this record:
I think nowadays more important than the marriage question is the decision about having children. I've met a couple of (mostly female) colleagues who even left their partner because they wanted to start a family and the other half wasn't as intertested in that. 10 years is a bit long, i would ask those questions after 5-7 years at most (married my wife after 4 already, had a son after another 4).
Americans are too polite to be honest, Germans are too honest to be polite. I really liked that. :)
And yes, body hair seems to be very important to many people. I remember how it started around 20 years ago with more men reading "Men's health" and similar mags. I'm only surprised that it's supposedly different in the USA, the world center of cosmetic surgery and serials like Baywatch.
Please continue your work. My favourite was your record about your experience with the health system in Germany.
And by the way (hopefully not sounding too creepy): gorgeous eyes.

[biancafelton]

Im not american nor am i german.

I also noticed that germans are really sensitive when people say something about germany and they preceive it as an attack to them.

Ive been asking questions on the german sub in reddit and whenever i ask innocent questions, germans would always be sarcastic and try to put me down and not give helpful answers. There were one or two who were helpful but forty other commenters would say negative things.


I dont know why they are like that. Its kind of annoying and disrespectful. If they didnt want to answer my questions they could just opt not to answer hut they choose to attack and insult me instead.

[saoirse]

I think you might be right that people are often more direct in their second language. So much attention is on just being able to say something that there’s less left over for consideration of social niceties and the connotations of words don’t weigh as heavily.

[Pewtah]

About splitting the bill viewed by me german man: in my generation (1970) it was a good manner the man pays for both. In later generations (I think it started in the late 80s) women want to be seen as independent from the man and do not want to get the feeling of "owing something to the man" and insist on a splitted bill - not every woman, just be prepared.