What Men and Women Don't Understand

hoe_math + @PlayingWithFireChannel having a talk about where men and women don't get each other in our world.

☝🏻☝🏻☝🏻 [CLICK] EVERYTHING I DO ☝🏻☝🏻☝🏻

[RaoVenu]

Kaka, anyone? He was the best soccer player in the world in 2007. Worth over a hundred million dollars. His wife divorced hime cause "he is too nice".

[julythrunov]

When I was younger, I intuitively treated my girlfriends not so great, due to being more narcissistic and selfish. They were obsessed with me and so were other women, sometimes fighting over me. As I got older and matured, I genuinely became kinder and “nicer”’with age, seeing how life worked, becoming humbled by suffering and loss. I became a better person. While I could get the attention of women initially, they would become bored/disrespectful and disloyal. After years of struggling in relationships, recently (and now older), I decided to run a little experiment and treat women poorly, one in particular, I was again, arrogant, narcissistic dismissive etc.

The ruder I got, the more she threw herself at me.

It is the most remarkable thing to observe,

Unfortunately that isn’t me anymore, and I have no interest in behaving that way.

Believe me when I say, dark triad traits absolutely attract women. The relationship will likely be full of conflict and drama, but sexual attraction won’t be a problem.

I ended it with this girl and went back to being single.

[DavidAVest]

Women have the information they need for success, but actively disbelieve what men tell them they value in a partner. Women also falsely tell men what they want to be perceived as valuing in a man, not what they actually value.

[velvetypotato]

The top things are: if you have to go through this many mental gymnastics then she/he ain't it. Keep walking.

[vitodtin]

meh once you live without women for long enough you tend to not care

[atjuggernaut]

See but with men it’s simply straight forward with us, with women if you don’t have a prerequisite that makes you attractive to them at face value then anything you do is going to come off bad, being mean is just gonna be seen as you being an asshole, being nice is gonna get you labeled as creepy or used

[Cybertech]

The problem is that women think it's our job to give and their job to receive. A load of entitled bullshit, honestly.

[jaredpeyton]

People are told to be nice, but no one's ever told to be good. Isn't that kind of terrifying?

[mp]

"don't try to understand women. women understand women, and they hate each other."

[matejb]

When i was younger i used to liked to please everybody. The thing i noticed is, that being too nice is just not ok, because majority of people are going to try to abuse your kindness to get what they want. It's ok to say NO, it's OK to have standards and if somebody doesn't like you it's ok to move ON!

[nathanbarnhart]

The main issue here is three fold:

1. Men will ask women what they want and they will give us a load of shit because, frankly, even they have no idea.

2. No one asks what men want.

3. When a man volunteers what he wants he’s called a misogynist

It’s not you can’t win. You absolutely can win the game. I did it. I got in great shape after my divorce, took a stand up comedy class and made a couple mil… trust me you will get laid. That’s not the question. The question is: “is it worth all the effort?” My answer: yes, but only as a journey of self improvement. Don’t do it to get laid the western woman isn’t worth it at all

[danielappleton]

You touched on meanings and that's a much broader problem as well. In my experience, a huge amount of conflict is a result of people having different definitions for the same words/concepts.
If you really want to understand and connect with people, you have to ask them what they mean. If you don't, you'll be arguing about two completely different things without even knowing it. Nobody wins that game

[billrosenstein]

The 19th amendment has been a disaster

[QobelD]

This is the type of short that is going to get you a lot of traffic

[mavrk.d]

Be nice ≠ be kind; be nice = do what I want you to do

[-haclong]

The language thing is true in a lot of dimensions, not just men and women. It's like when you ask a person who is pro-social security and who is anti-social security what is "fair", the word "fairness" to one sounds like "the wealthy and able give so that the poor and disabled can receive" but the same word would mean "the government doesn't take my money to give it to those who don't contribute" to the other.

Likewise, ¿What does "nice" mean? I think that being reserved and non-threatening is probably what "being nice" means, men aren't taught that there are rewards for being nice, rather they are being hammered in that disagreeing with a woman in any way or making her feel uncomfortable in any way will get you punished. Most men feel like they're walking on eggshells around women, I don't think that men try to be "nice", rather many don't want to be perceived as being mean because we are basically being taught that any man who doesn't cater to feminine urges all the time falls in the "weak jerk" archetype. Namely, "he is controlling because he's insecure, he's judging because he's weak", Etc.

[jmangames]

Real relationships should never be performance based, period. I don't care that is not "love". Thats is a form of greed and self entitlement, will never work in a relationship.

[hazmat]

What to do? Do nothing, watch the world burn. 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️💥💥💥💥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

[randomobserver]

I don't know where the nice guy approach or belief system came from, but it certainly is not traditional masculinity.
Traditional masculinity had its dark side [take women by force or money or trade them among families as assets] and better side [be an accomplished, confident man with goals in order to also be more likely to attract women]. The code of chivalry is of course centuries old, and was and was presumed to be appealing to women, but it was appealing because it was nice guy attention from an accomplished man.
I can only assume "be a weedy loser with no goals or achievements but just be nice, defined as obsessed with one girl who has shown no interest, servile to her, and increasingly nervous and weird" was something post 1945 American housewives and henpecked dads came up with. Since it does not seem to have earlier roots.

How exactly it achieved such purchase since perhaps the 80s is a minor mystery to me. Since it partakes of OCD and spectrum traits, I can only assume some connection.

[TheGek]

Is there a link to the full conversation?