Praetorian Guard vs Varagian Guard #romanhistory #rome #historymemes

Who would win in a contest of loyalty? The greatest among Rome's citizenry with the finest weapons and armor schooled in the arts of statecraft and war? Or some Scandinavian guy with an axe.

[DreadAnon]

How often do YOU think about the Roman Empire?

[leftnutlarry]

The praetorians murdered a guy called “saviour of the world” and were surprised when people got angry. Rip Aurelian

[kaijublue]

He is the least loyal because he didn't kill the briber on the spot

[nobleman]

The Emperor really got close to dying when he named Dorn "the Praetorian of Terra" instead of "the Varagian of Terra"

[edwardaugustus]

Varangians were long term thinkers. If something happened to the current Emperor they rolled with it but they weren't going to be the ones who plunged the knife. That's some real brand awareness on display.

[teal_m_]

Praetorian Guard-
"Can't live with them, can't live without them, and if you tried to live without them, they'd kill you."

[lollikabosso.w.n]

Important to add, Varangians are more likely to be combat capable, compared to the more riot Control oriented praetorians

[apollyon]

Now now, I'm all for dunking on the praetorians as a whole, but The Most Loyal Praetorian Guard was told to abandon his Emperor like the rest of the guard. Instead he beat them and a mob with fists and a whip. And when swords where drawn, he fought to the death, alone. Sempronius Densus, The Most Loyal Praetorian.

[komradekevinthekommuneistd]

“You ave a Norman problem, ah ave a problem with Normans. Ah fink we can come to a deal” Bazwic 1078 ad

[Its_Cannon]

Most loyal Varangian: *Murders entire squad of Praetorians*

[HundredDaysMusic]

People today complain about how hard it is to find a job. The Varangians sacked Constantinople just to get a job interview.

[hansstrudel]

It should also be noted that during the siege of Constantinople in the Venetian crusade the Varangians fought to the death against the crusades to buy time. I had also heard from somewhere (and now I can’t find the sauce) that a Byzantine emperor was stabbed to death by his heir in front of the Varangians and they did nothing because he was now the emperor.

[sherlocksmuuug]

"You killed our coworker because he tried to sexually assault you? Good job lady, here, have all his wordly possessions."

[iron]

Context: Praetorian guards were infamous for accepting bribes and killing the emperors that they were tasked with protecting in return for a higher salary and eventually when the emperor fails to pay his the guard they will kill him and have someone else take over. This was the case up until Aurelius took over but they killed him not because he wasn’t paying them but because they thought he was gonna punish them for something (in reality the news they got that he was gonna punish them for committing a crime turned out to be false info spreaded by a politician who wanted Aurelius out because he himself got into a little bit of trouble with the law)

[zanthimos]

I'm under the impression that more emperors died from their own bodyguards than from the enemy.

[tunasandwich]

Most treacherous swiss mercenary : you give me 1 thaler a month? I shall defend you with my entire life

[emperor]

He gave me the 2 dollar bill and that's enough for me.

[Historyfrekever]

You have any idea how hard it is to get employment in the fringed north! I ain’t throwing this gig away for extra cash! I cared about money I would have just kept raiding.

[siamihari]

Varangians coming from a Culture that Valued ones word as ones honor

[freek]

The fact a bunch of viking and Anglo Saxon mercenaries were better guards than the Romans own guards never fails to crack me up