Embrace | An Asexuality-Focused Animated Short Film | Tesha Merkel | AyChristene Reacts

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[dangyoujeny]

That ish had me crying because…holy cow, I thought I was broken as well, it’s good to feel represented 💛

[callmethecoolestduckontheb]

Glad I wasn't the only one tearing up, it's hard to be ace in a world where people tell you that you'll "grow out of it" that you'll "get it one day" it really does start to make you feel broken, like unless you love the way others do, you'll never have that spark

[tunessystem]

The thing is, she probably doesn’t get the guy. Because it’s a matter of different love language - different people communicate love differently and just like asexual people can’t help being ace, allosexuals (non-asexual) can’t help being allo. And the entire idea behind asexuality is that we don’t feel like something is missing when our life includes no sex so we also aren’t reciprocating the same desires when we have sex anyway. In the video you can see that she doesn’t get upset because she can’t enjoy sex - she gets upset because the rest of the world acts like that’s not something “normal” people can experience; society acts like sex is a part of love and you can’t love properly without it. Some asexuals can enjoy sex like you can enjoy a hobby, some asexuals can’t enjoy sex but will go through the motions so their partner will feel happy, and some asexuals can’t stand the idea of having sex at all. And if you can go through the motions and at least pretend to enjoy it, some allosexuals can work with that, but some need that reciprocation to be there and if you can’t do sex at all most allosexuals won’t be able to make it work because they will feel lacking and even unloved (even if they know logically that’s not the case). So if the guy isn’t also ace, she probably won’t get him.

Of course, there’s also a chance she is aromantic as well. Like asexuals don’t feel like anything is lacking without sex, aromantic people don’t feel like there is anything lacking without a romantic relationship - they are content with friendships. But they still can get “crushes”. The community calls them squishes but it’s a very similar concept - you become fixated on one specific person who is just somehow more important to you than your other friends, you enjoy your time with them more, you want to be a bigger part of their life, you fantasize about all the fun things you could do together - but it’s all platonic. You don’t want to date or kiss or hold hands, much less get married (though you might like the idea of living together). But if you try to explain it, people usually try to insist that it’s romantic when you know it’s not. Society keeps telling you that romantic love is more important because it’s friendship with something added, something you just can’t access. Your feelings are minimized because you want to be “just friends”. The truth is that friendship plus something makes a squish, not a crush - romantic attraction is a completely different emotion and is not stronger than an equivalent level of platonic attraction. But like with sexuality, if the person is romantic and they feel lonely and incomplete without a romantic partner, then the fact that you can’t be that romantic partner means they are VERY likely to find someone else who can, leaving you behind as “just a friend”. And since there are more asexuals than aromantics, the options for a platonic life partner are even smaller and the chances that the person you happen to fall for (platonically) is romantic (and thus incompatible) are even higher.

Honestly I sometimes wonder which is worse. On the one hand, a romantic asexual will still feel the need for a romantic partner and will feel lonely without one, but the chances of finding someone you are compatible with are slim. An aromantic asexual won’t inherently feel the need for a romantic relationship (which is better) but if they happen to develop a squish, they are even less likely to have their feelings returned and on top of that, society is significantly more likely to minimize and dismiss their feelings because they don’t understand.

TLDR; Social understanding and acceptance won’t solve all the problems that people in the ace community have to face, but making sure people who might be ace spec are aware of asexuality (at least), preventing society from judging them like it’s some kind of personal failure, and providing a community of people who face similar struggles that they can go talk to - that’s a massive help. :)

[ijlayugan]

The grip this animation had on my heart man

[cierraslowsdown]

I’m heteromantic asexual and her date could’ve been patient and understanding and stayed, he could’ve made fun of her and said it was a load of BS and something was wrong with her, he could’ve ghosted her, or he could’ve just told her sex is too important to him to deal with her on that level when she doesn’t feel the same.

It’s such a spectrum! Cause I enjoy kissing and cuddling but sex is a whole nother can of worms that can be dissected in interests and whatnot

[tsireya.vsp_edits]

I'm gay and I'm proud who I'm