Stop Auto-Advice Giving - Tune Up Tip of the Week - Terri Cole

Have you ever gone to a friend to talk because you were upset, and instead of actively listening, she starts offering unsolicited advice about what you should do? Does that interaction make you feel supported and heard, or are you left feeling robbed of the space to problem solve that you were actually seeking? Are you guilty of giving unasked-for advice or criticism? Let's discuss the effect this type of interaction actually has on your relationship and what to do instead.

[shoshana]

I have a friend that gives 'advise' that sounds like he thinks I'm stupid, instead of a seasoned, 55-yr-old adult.

[johnmellor]

Much of it is down to contolling behaviour though. They are feeding their ego and don't want to give up that supply.

[heikanaomi]

Thank you so much for this! I am one to give unasked advice thinking it will help, but realizing it ends up destructive. The people who just observe me get more help from that, not really my advice. Thank you for this video. The way you speak and present yourself makes me feel connected to you and easy to take the amazing advice. You present this so kindly and don't make me feel bad for the advice giving, but gives me a new look on it to help me stop. This is lovely! 💕

[susanlippman]

Excellent, However, the intentions of the unsolicited advice giver often are not good or benevolent.

[nightgazer]

Thank you! I was just given half an hour of advice on several aspects of my life. I wasn't asking for advice, so I'd like to know what I can say next time a friend or a stranger pushes unwanted advice onto me. I do not look to control other people's lives so I don't understand why someone would want to change mine. Thanks for your video!

[Marciusha]

So how to deal with this? I always see tips for them, not for people who suffer from unwanted advice.

[jrb]

I thought it was dealing with people who won’t stop giving unsolicited advice but the tip was not to give any advice this week 🤷‍♀️

[daniel.shalome]

Amazing. Can you tell us what to say to stop getting advice from people who advice that doesn't agree with me

[nikstar]

I want to send this to my ex best friend