Holders and sniffers: which one are you?

There is a problem that all couples must confront over the course of their relationship: what should they do with their farts? Some hold them in and others let 'em rip. These two camps constitute two different approaches to the unpleasant realities of self and other: repress them to maintain harmony or express them to promote authenticity. Which approach is undertaken has non-trivial consequences for the future of the relationship.

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Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world.

#psychology #relationship #marriage

[psychacks]

There is a problem that all couples must confront over the course of their relationship: what should they do with their farts? Some hold them in and others let 'em rip. These two camps constitute two different approaches to the unpleasant realities of self and other: repress them to maintain harmony or express them to promote authenticity. Which approach is undertaken has non-trivial consequences for the future of the relationship.


Buy my book, "The Value of Others"

Book a paid consultation:


Social Media




Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community:

Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com

Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world.

#psychology #relationship #marriage

[danbabcock]

Our society definitely needs more holders. Civility, self-respect, and most of all respect for others is being violated in ways many of us could never imagine being done 30 years ago.

[blue-phoenix]

National Geographics Narrator: The female has decided to let one rip, and it's a big one. Her male companion appears visibly shocked. The female looks nervous, as if second guessing her decision when suddenly, the male lets out an even bigger, louder, smellier fart signaling that he accepts her whole fartedly. Thus, concludes one of the many mating rituals of these fascinating species.

[mwendwabrian]

I love this man. I realized relationships aren't worth it if you aren't willing to pursue knowledge & wisdom.
I am now a student of knowledge and wisdom

[jefesalsero]

Im a hybrid Sniffer/Holder. You gotta know when to sniff 'em, know when to hold 'em.

[samiamgreeneggsandham]

My wife said back when we were dating that she only knew I was serious about the relationship when I started letting them rip.

[phillipcampbell]

I always hated that my ex-wife and I would fart around each other. We were married for 15 years, but I always hated the crass, stifling intimacy it implied. When I started dating again, I decided I would never fart in front of my partner again. I dated a woman for a year and never farted in front of her, and she never did in front of me and it was so nice.

[vivianMarvin-zk]

Amazing video A month ago, my partnership of five years came to an end. The choice to break up with the person I love is something that really gets to me. Even though it's all for nothing, I've done everything I can to get him back, and I couldn't imagine my existence without him. I've tried everything to stop thinking about him, but I still can't help but miss him and think about him often. I don't know why I am saying this here.

[jonathanisernhagen]

I think the more accurate terminology would be "holders" vs. "blasters."

[nadakhairi]

I like this concept. Holders should be with holders, and sniffers should be with sniffers.

[cougarlove]

Haha, I didn’t expect this as the conversation 😂

[Manny-yj]

I try to hold them but don't worry about it when they do come out. I think one of the reasons passion can fade in relationships is because people get too comfortable around each other, and the relationship feels more like friends, roommates, or even siblings. You should try to hold onto some decency and mystery most of the time when you can. My partner and I both try not to obviously fart around each other, but we can laugh about it when it does happen.

[ethan-sqzv]

He’s one Fart Smeller! 😂😂😂 I mean Smart Feller

[allenmciver]

Four years with my girl and I have never farted around her that I am aware of. And she to me, as well. We laughed about it when I told her a female friend had worn a tee that said "Girls Fart Too". I decided, like my gf, to exercise self control and keep it classy.

[glenimlach]

The poet, Robert Burns had a saying “wherever you be let your wind go free, for you can’t hold what’s not in your hand “

[DBTwister]

This reminds me! My first job, I shared an office with 3 guys. We were having farting competitions. I just let off a monster and my boss walked in and came and hovered over my shoulder pointing at my screen. "Jesus Christ, man, did you just fart?" he asked. Of course, do you think I normally smell like shit? He ran off and said he would come back later.

[ACMR]

I'm a mix between a holder and sniffer. Sometimes you gotta keep the boat steady rather than rock it, other times a problem must be dealt with immediately.

I live with my brother though, and he's a textbook case on how the sniffers should stick with sniffers, and the holders should stick with holders definitely isn't true. He often points out people's issues including myself, and they're often accurate and reasonable. However, when people point out his issues, including myself, he gets very defensive. His friends have said similar things whenever they suggest something to him and he has had a few relationships breakdown because of it.

Not a bad guy for sure since I get on well with him very well for the most part, and he has a lot of close, long-term friends. However he definitely has issues accepting criticism. Also he's the type of person to say that "there is a communication issue" when he does not get his way or when he's losing an argument.

[scottba]

One could explore that the desire for Authenticity correlates with a more Anxious Attachment style while the desire for Harmony correlates with a more Avoidant Attachment style. Secure Attachment types can more likely maturely balance and nuance their need and expression of authenticity and harmony for the relationship by being reasonable, understanding, and knowing when to hold em or when to flow em.

[immortaljanus]

How the hell did Orion not break out laughing recording this one? 😄

[jambajoby]

I don’t hold and I don’t sniff, I just step away for a minute