Is Shaming Your Child Good Parenting?

Co-host Judge Marilyn Milian speaks out against one couple's harsh punishment for their grieving daughter.

[moonyriot]

I think shaming is just a half-assed approach to parenting. It's for parents who don't care enough to actually talk to their child and get to the heart of the problem. You can't humiliate your kids into working harder or being a better student, it's just going to make them shut down even more.

[Smartass]

Marilyn hit the nail on the head here.

[erichanson]

I would get verbally abused by my father, in public many times. I would have rather get spanked. Nothing hurts more and wears down one's confidence than getting shamed in public.

[ThatgirlnamedJodie]

Shaming is wrong. If my mam did that to me, I'd never speak to her ever again. It'd be the final straw in an already very fragile relationship.
It's bad parenting because it causes untold psychological damage that will be irreparable. I'd never forgive. The only lesson it'd teach me is to not trust anyone.

[tor]

I support the woman against that form of punishment 100%. It's selfish of parents and cruel of judges to do this

[AngelinaParker]

I have to agree with you on this. This type of punishment will make the child hate their parents and would disown them when they get out for college or other things. Who knows they'll never let their parents see their grandchildren.

[BorisCr]

The parents who shamed their daughter like should think about this: the daughter might one be the one who chose their retirement home...

[mollyjones]

I cannot imagine putting my 13 year old daughter to stand on a street corner with a sign like this. The only women I know that stand on street corners are hookers and
drug addicts. My daughter is a very very precious thing and I treat her softly and tenderly. My daughter has the right to privacy. Whatever problems we have will be worked out in the privacy of our home because i am a compassionate mother that realises at 13 a girl's body is going through change and she might not be feeling well.

[VacuumSquirrel]

I feel nothing for these parents. It's the cool new bully parents, cyber style. We cool. We humiliated bad daughter, lets get a mob of strangers giving us thumbs up. This is the new ME generation.

[moonyriot]

There's discipline and then there's humiliating your kid. Clearly you don't know the difference so I feel sorry for any offspring you currently have or will have in the future.

[hannahduggan]

My mother sometimes does this to me. Whenever I make a mistake or mess up, she yells at me and says that I'm mean and selfish. Like when I was supposed to tell her to pick up my little brother from the library, I forgot to tell her and then she yelled at me and called me selfish and my poor little brother was all soaked from walking home in the cold and rain. She freaked out at me for not telling her to pick up my little brother. And when I forgot my wallet for travel training, she said that I'm such a bad person for forgetting my wallet. I told her that if she ever called me mean or selfish or anything like that ever again, I will kill myself. I have high anxiety. My mother really loves me and cares about me, but she can be like that because she was born and raised in a poor foreign country where rich people were always mean to her and her siblings and she had to go to refugee camp before she immigrated to America. I'm sorry, but sometimes my anxiety gets so high that I start thinking bad things about myself. I am scared of death and dying, but someday, I'll have to die, but that would be like when I'm old. My mother thinks that shaming kids makes them successful adults and prepares them for the real world. She thinks that showing and giving kids love, affection, attention, and compassion, is babying them and that they wouldn't learn how to stand up for themselves and they would get beaten up and killed by bad people later in life. I really don't wanna kill myself, but sometimes, I feel like it after my mother shames me for making a little tiny mistake and calls me mean and selfish. Seriously, I'm just a person living my life. I make mistakes all the time, but that's part of being human. And do any of you strangers out there think that it's wrong for a parent to flip out and start yelling at a child and calling them mean and selfish when they just make a mistake? Please answer.
My mother really loves me and really cares about me, but sometimes, she calls me mean and selfish whenever I make one little mistake. She makes me feel like I did it on purpose.

[ashleyclark]

Shaming a person in order to change or manipulate behavior is absolutely asinine and counter-productive. If you really WANT someone to do the things that you are trying to 'shame' away I can guarantee that these VERY ACTIONS THAT YOU DISLIKE will be continued even more vigorously now that you have made it part of their personality rather than finding something positive about them to highlight and discussing in PRIVATE why their actions r hurting THEMSELVES (not YOU, U care about them RIGHT?)

[BratBustersParenting]

It can be done in fun, but not when there is real shame and humiliation involved. This is a sign of desperate parents who do not know what to do.

[elisetuerk]

I feel as though those parents know the kid much better than us internet folks do. Some kids are just little butts with no respect for anything, including themselves. I went to high school with some kids who really are beyond saving. There's a certain something about my generation that just entitles all of us for some reason, maybe it's that our parents aren't as hard on us, maybe it's that our parents are the beginning of the "me" generations, so they just can't be bothered to parent correctly.

[mollyjones]

If you were a good woman and mother a thought like this would never enter into your mind. You would explore all other ways to reach your daughter. How could you embarrass your daughter like this. If she is getting bad grades in school, talk to her, go on an outing with her, get into some mother/daughter bonding. Only a cold, hard woman does this to her daughter. No compassion whatsoever.

[francescorengifo]

I LOVE HER she should be the constant co-host!

[napoleonalex]

It is basically, get the problem on the street, out of the house maybe it is going to fix itself this way.Because i can't.

[bryantwhitis]

You are a 100% right judge parenting is very hard and if I haft to be discipline why not make it a pretty lady like you.

[JobForATurtle]

But how would this not motivate the daughter to try harder?

[woobieweibel]

It seems that most of the people making comments against the parents doing this are mostly kids. The few parents that are, and apparently Judge Milian, need a bit of a reality check.
This is no worse than a kid having to do community service and pick up trash on the side of the road. Their friends might seem them doing that too, and that will probably REALLY embarrass them. So I guess we stop all forms of punishment in case it might hurt someones feelings, right??