The Two Things That Deeply Psychologically Change a Person — Analysis by a Former Therapist

I hope you found value in this video! Wishing everyone the best!

[paweld]

Greatest single thing that changed my life? Living in a positive environment with supportive people for an extended period of time.

[frankbank]

Narcissistic, abusive parents probably cause more suffering in this world than we have ever really imagined.

[ladybirdtravels]

"Attacked for having a spirit." That hits home. Only now do I realise how emotionally immature that parent really was.

[jayleeper]

My parents were divorced when I was five, a horrible, messy divorce, full of violence and hatred. We were left with our father, a convincing and charming narcissist He married a monster that severely abused me and my siblings. I finally ran away at 14 and never went back. I have always been very hard on myself and ashamed of my inability to socialize and be normal. I am 72 and never married. It is only recently that I realized that those things were impossible for me because there was no one there to teach me the rules and I had to raise myself with no skills to do so. I avoid people and live as a hermit because I feel other people are just there to hurt me. At least now, I can like myself and can be my own best friend. I wish videos like this were available when I was younger.

[MayorGoldieWilson]

My father was beaten regularly almost to death at times by his father. He's never received therapy or anything so he continued the cycle with my brothers and I. Growing up I swore I'd never be like him, but we naturally always carry traits of our environment. I noticed I was displaying these traits and I had to change. It took losing everything. My wife, kids, friends... changing my mindset from violence and anger to compassion and patience was the hardest thing I've ever done. I still slip up here and there, but I'm a different person. I look at my kids and think about how I was once their age and how innocent I once was. I'm trying to protect their childhood at all costs. They will never grow up like I did. I won't allow it.

[arjulala]

I have never heard such a accurate description of trauma. You make a solid point, some parents, schools really like a shut down child. I was a deeply traumatized kid, and I was praised for being a shallow, obedient zombie, who never questioned anyone or anything until later on in life.

[Fawn_Musics]

to shut down anothers nature is one of the worst things we can do to another and yet families do that to their kids all day, every day, It must change, thank you Daniel for being the change the world needs

[actremix]

Just leave me alone
In the place where I make no mistakes
In the place where I have what it takes
-Elliot Smith

[nopenever]

I am in my 50's and I am more childish (child like) than I ever was as a child. It's very weird, but I never got to be a child. I was neglected, emotionally and verbally abused. I thought everything was my fault. I will never escape the trauma and I continue to grieve but I try to enjoy my inner child whenever I can... she's pretty cool 😎

[Sedum]

I had trauma all my childhood and was controlled for so long. I thought it was my fault and called it depression. At 60 I felt obliterated. At 65 I started to be the real me for the first time ever. A year later I am getting used to it and finding myself more resilient. Fewer friends, and family relationships not as I expected, but its ok -and so worth the hard work to get here.

[AnupmaJ]

This resonated so deeply.
People who don't know how to grieve after being traumatized end up being the ones who traumatize others the same way as they were traumatized.

[HeroReturns]

I feel like I’m a teenager in my 30-ies. I’m only now discovering who I am and learning to know my own mind. I am having conversations with myself trying to raise myself into a normally functioning adult. Sometimes I’m surprised I can be this kind to myself - it feels unusual and strange, but maybe I also deserve to feel good about myself.

[JTguitarlessons]

I know these issues are much deeper, but to shut down someone's nature brings this to mind... have you ever seen someone make fun of another person's laugh? And then you watch their smile fade as they become self conscious of how they express their happiness? That is absolutely heartbreaking to me. I don't care if it happens to me, I can tell someone to screw off. But when you see it happen to someone else and watch how it crushes their spirit, I feel so bad. I can't stand people that attack others like that.

[witneyskye]

I walked away from my parents and brother 20 years ago. They are all mean and bitter people. I had to break away to find out that I am not who they made me to believe who I was. Finding me is an on-going process. I'm a work in progress and I am getting there! I'm 60 now and I have not given up on myself. I will always be growing and that's a good thing!

[maleem]

“Rage is the building block of boundaries”.. very well said!! It’s a legitimate and important emotion that many of us are denied having or expressing.

[redsol]

Love changes a person, the love from within. When you stop wanting love from other people.

[tedbendixson]

This stuff totally applies to animals. We rescued a german shepherd last year, and he was so timid and shy for the first few months we had him. Gradually, as he began to notice that we care for him and let him be himself, more of his true personality started coming out. He became a little more pesky, a little more energetic, and a lot more fun. He used to have so much anxiety and now he just enjoys his new home. Everyone notices how much happier he is.

[deadsoon]

"Sometimes parents like it when their children are traumatized" this made me physically recoil, for how true it is. Ironically, my parents started disliking my traumatized self as well, because I wasn't behaving like a healthy, normal child and teen would. I was well behaved to the point they had to be borderline psychotic to find faults in me and accuse me of plotting for their downfall.

[adrianneonline]

I wish psychologists would start referring to this as 'conditioned helplessness' rather than 'learned helplessness', which carries a different connotation and can also seem pejorative. 'Conditioned' helplessness puts immediate emphasis on the fact that the sensibility developed unconsciously over time, by repeated and consistent false or misleading feedback. To many people, terminology like 'learned helplessness' resonates closely with the idea of learning to perform helplessness for its social and logistical advantages, which is a very different phenomenon than what's actually being described by the phrase. "Conditioned helplessness" decreases the odds that these two very different scenarios will be conflated.

[Augfordpdoggie]

I grew up in an abusive home, but was so determined to live my dream it didnt affect me, until I failed at my dream...which absolutely ruined me as a human, and i never recovered.