The Danger of Over-Valuing “Connection” in Early Dating

When we meet someone we really like, we can easily fall into the trap of idealizing them based on the CONNECTION we feel in those first few dates.

But there’s a danger to that: We don’t actually know the person in front of us at that stage. The idea we have created of them exists only in our heads and may not reflect who they really are at all.

By over-fetishizing the connection we feel for them, we can end up wasting an enormous amount of time on someone who ultimately isn’t able to meet our needs and make us happy in the long term.

Have you ever done this? Tell me about it in the comments.

#Shorts #MatthewHussey #RelationshipAdvice #DatingAdvice

[wejoin]

Was me …idealizing that we had more than we had!

[elizabethkirby]

You have to really LOOK at how they handle conflicts & disagreements. However BAD that is, it probably DOES get worse. Yeah.

[andreacifuentes]

Run from the “I LOVE you”, “the love of my LIFE”… in the first week, even month.

[christinagracewhite]

My new guy is ENTJ and I am INTJ. Our chemistry is off the charts but we also feel like we’ve known each other for longer than the 5 weeks we have.
We’re both aware of how fast things are moving but we’re also having deep probing conversations about ourselves and each other to try to establish early on whether we’re a soul match and not just a physical match

[Msheather]

"Making space" for you is key! Anybody can find out information about you and then use it against you in the future. Just make sure that they actually hold space for you!

[jainy]

This is soo true and such valuable insight.

[richardcooke]

This is so true. They’re are connection addicts out there.

[fhjjk]

I just finished hanging out with this guy for a few days. He totally idealized me in the end. It was a huge turnoff. He doesn’t even know me.

[JoAnnCorley]

I have learned hyped connection is really the brain chemicals

[noremac]

Just came from a different content provider saying that “if you’re interested in a guy you should have sex with him on the first date”. So, this is quite refreshing.

[Back_To_Basics]

I guess when things are new, the less we know about someone the more excited we get when there’s a good connection. It’s hard to be rational thanks to the love hormones that blocking our sensibilities in this early stages.

[cathydoten]

Great speaker, accent welcoming to ear

[violetmartha]

I don't see what our cracks have to do with it. 🤣😂🤣😂🤣 I'm sorry I couldn't resist.

[cathydoten]

Perhaps these first moments are all anyone really wants?

[jaka]

jeez so many analyses... soon we ll have to learn some math formulas to be in relationship. does anyone fall in love spontaneiously any more?

[sharonkong]

All relationships be romantic or not are all exhanges in value

[chrisherber]

I thought connection = getting to know the person. Is there another type of connection out there? Lol

[RoseMary-glee]

Matt’s description of this nuanced subtlety is very poignant

[rosmawatiramli]

I advise a friend not to always lend money to his freinds or colleague n he kept doing it. And end of the day always broke. Then when he broke wil informed me i dont have money bus fare to work or buy meal going to work. Keot telling him n told him the impact but continue.

[kayqq]

Run from someone who is an idealist. The relationship won't last