What to do if your child bullies

What if you are on the receiving end of a phone call from an angry parent or an educator? What if your child is bullying others? Dr. Debra Pepler talks to us about this touchy subject and offers some pointers on how you can correct bullying behaviour in your child.

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VIDEO TRANSCRIPT: What to do if your child bullies?

So what if you get a call from the school that your child's bullying?

How do you handle that? That's a difficult call to get.

Well, what we know is that bullying is a relationship problem, and if it's a relationship problem it needs a relationship solution.

So your child's having difficulty having healthy and positive relationships with others.

There may be many reasons for that.

It's important to sit down and talk to your child about what's happening, about why it happened, about how he or she was feeling, what they thought as they were doing that, and probably -- really importantly -- how they think the other child felt and how the bystanders felt.

Because those children who stand around and watch are actually feeling quite frightened, and even though they pay a lot of attention to the child who's bullying, they really don't like bullying. That's what they tell us.

And if your child's bullying, then you can ask him or her, what they could do next time to get the kind of power that they want, because power is a great thing to have. We as adults have lots of power. (Ask) How they can get power and status without hurting someone.

And there are opportunities at home to give them, chances to learn how to use their power positively with siblings and helping you out, and helping out a neighbour.

And there're probably ways in which the teacher can set up opportunities for your child, to get power and status in really positive ways at school, without hurting others.

So think of a relationship solution, help your child understand why it's wrong, help them understand what they can do differently next time, help them understand how that other child feels, and help them learn how to use their power positively rather than negatively, because in the end it feels better and it works much better to have a positive relationship.

Bullying Tips:
- Talk with your child about how they can gain power in a positive way
- Help your child understand how a bullied child feels

In video:
What to do if your child bullies: Debra J. Pepler, Ph.D, C.Psych, Distinguished Research Professor of Psychology, York University

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This video does not constitute medical advice, and is not meant to be used or relied upon by anyone without additional guidance and supervision from a qualified physician. Do not perform the procedures described in this video unless your child's physician has reviewed this video and provides you with specific instructions and directions about performing these procedures.