Completely Honest Guy - Completely Honest OBGYN

The OBGYN who says what all OBGYNs are really thinking.

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Starring Second City alumni: Joe Canale, Amy Phillips & Josh Funk
The Second City New Media
Director: Joshua Funk
Producer: Mark Kienlen
Assistant Editors: Meghan O'Brien, Tyler Alexander

©2010 The Second City Inc./Joe Canale

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[robhall]

I laughed so hard I shit myself then a baby came out

[jamesfloerke]

10 years on and it still cracks me up the just as much as the first time. My daughter just found out that she is pregnant a couple days ago. So as I picked her up to take her dog to the vet, I played it for her. She seems to still want to do the natural thing even though she has absolutely 0 tolerance for pain. She still has a long way to go, so I'll play it again and again until she listens. Lol

[markmiller]

There needs to be more of these Completely Honest Guy videos. They are amazingly funny!

[Puppylover]

I was already shown a natural childbirth in Biology class (the most disgusting/painful looking thing ever), but this has really set my mind straight.

[stephaniepalmer]

My OBGYN told me about this sketch. Laughing so hard right now!!

[Doublezzranch]

OMG I just woke up EVERYONE in the house laughing so loud 😂

[moahdriven]

This is, in all seriousness, 1000% accurate

[mikaelmacmurray]

funny.they should tell girls this in high school.add bleeding to death for a month after and not being able to walk around for a week on the list too.

[Pokarot]

You're right, they should add in things like eclampsia, gestational diabetes, the general unwillingness to use some medications because they cause birth defects, ectopic pregnancies, hernias, and the ever popular 'we need 6 units of blood and 2 units of plasma STAT' bleeds.

[LydJaGillers]

Fuck that shit, I'm never having children and I don't care what anyone says.

[mathautist]

This completely honest series needs a revival.

[GrayStudios]

"Those times are for patients, not for doctors."
Infuriating and hilarious.

[Tarzan]

they would never cut into the rectum. an episiotomy is done to prevent any excessive tearing that could end up tearing the rectum.

[Creativinity]

Thank you for being so eloquent. You are obviously a person with so much wisdom.

[Ironrchid]

I'm a VBAC, and I much preferred the vaginal to the c-section 100%.  I only had a c-section because of complications.  The recovery time from a vaginal birth is much shorter and much less painful.

[marlieset]

O M G, it hits home so badly all you can do is laugh laugh laugh

[ArriSparks]

"if its truly yours its going to be quit a load" hahaha

[vasilyzorin]

Husband (H). Wife (W). Doctor (D).
H: Our appointment was forty five minutes ago.
D: Ah, those times are for patients, not for doctors. Now you look like you are just about to pop, so… when do you wanna schedule your C-section?
W: No, we are going have to a natural delivery.
H: Yeah, natural delivery.
D: Are you sure? Because the C-section would be waay easier for me.
W: Yes, we are sure, people have been giving birth naturally for thousands of years.
D: Right, and two hundred years ago half of all births ended with a dead baby or mother. So…. C-section?
H: No, we’ve already discussed this and we wanna experience a natural childbirth.
D (exhales): Okay… Let me explain how this is gonna go. Any day now your water is going to break and you are gonna start having contractions. And this is when active labor will start. Now when this happens the pain is going to be unbearable like nothing you ever felt before, imagine shitting a watermelon, and speaking of shitting, shortly after labor starts you are going to shit yourself. And then we are going to offer you an epidural to help with the pain, but because you are doing it naturally you are going to refuse. Then a couple of hours later the pain will be so severe that you will ask us for an epidural, but we will refuse ‘cause you didn’t take it the first time. Now I am guessing you are gonna want to be in the room.
H: Yeah. It’s my baby.
D: At least as far as you know it is. Well then listen to this part very closely. Shortly after your wife shits yourself the baby is going to start coming out and if it’s truly yours it’s gonna be quite a load. Now, unless your wife is a real whore, the baby is not gonna fit out of her vagina. So we are gonna have to give her a episiotomy where we cut her taint and turn two holes into one. Now after this the baby’s head is going to start to crawl. This is probably around the time that I will show up. And then you are going to get to watch me pull a bloody shit-covered human child out of what’s left of your wife’s vagina-butthole followed by three or four pounds of blood called the afterbirth. This will ensure that you never ever again want to have sex with your wife. And after that I will slap the baby to make sure it’s alive and take out any residual anger I have towards your wife. And then I will shove the baby under a heat lamp like it was a pork loin in a hotel buffet. So, we can do all that or could schedule you for a C-section today. I’ve got at three and at four available, I’ve already scheduled at three thirty.
H: Three.
D: Great.

[ksvproductions]

I laughed so hard i pissed my pants 😭😂😂😭

[jenheart]

Birth is not like that but this had me on tears from laughing so hard.