Moonpig Olde Worlde Birthday Cards with Susie Dent

Lovey-dovey can be good sometimes, but if you really want to show your true feelings on their birthday, there’s nothing more poetic than a carefully-chosen, beautifully-timed insult. It’s high art. So, we asked Countdown's Queen of Words (and swears) Susie Dent for a bunch of ye olde ways for us to be a little bit rude for our birthdays. After digging into the historical dictionary archives, Susie unearthed a host of new swears and we transformed these literary masterpieces into a line of tongue-in-cheek birthday cards. Perfect for nan.

After all, it’s always good to learn new words.

So, without further ado, beating about the bush or general lollygagging, who better to talk us through these absolutely classic swears than the Queen of Words herself! Take it away Susie…

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