“We flew to Lisbon for Taylor Swift, but my $5 beer is the problem?”

Ramit Sethi of I Will Teach You To Be Rich talks to Annie, 39, and Emery, 43. Although they have a high combined income, Annie makes 5x more than Emery. This leads to frustration over small purchases, like an extra drink at dinner—while they’re on vacation in Europe. Emery also manages their two rental properties even though they earn $0. He’s desperate to sell, but Annie is convinced of their long term value.

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[ramitsethi]

Please remember: These are real people who had the courage to come on my podcast and ask for help. Would you be willing to come on this podcast and share every detail of your financial life? Feel free to leave comments based on what you think, but remember that we are here to help in a supportive way, not to demean and criticize.

[dkayok]

My dad had a stressful government job & my mom started selling real estate (back in 70s). They also invested in multiple rental properties. My dad would spend every weekend messing with the properties. He was stressed, overweight & had not had a vacation in years. One day, I asked him why are you doing this? It was to leave my brother & I the all these properties when they died. I told him flat out I didn't want any of it, we would prefer our parents to be alive and while I had been to europe twice already (in my 20s) he and my mom had never been anywhere. He just looked at me astonished. Soon after, they sold the most troublesome properties and started taking several great vacations a year even into their early 80s. They traveled all over the world. They kept a couple really good properties with a manager, they invested well, they were able to help us out when we really needed financial help as adults. They lived into their 90s. Sometimes a mindshift changes everything.

[Blueyoutoo]

This guy does a lot of work that is not being acknowledged:
- Manages the rental and up keep
- Takes care of the kids
- Deals with the issues of rentals and they want more

Gender roles are in play here. Imagine if the roles were reversed and the man said the woman wasn't doing enough. There is a real cost to the hidden, unpaid work that people do in a relationship and a family.

[Devin.]

The longer this conversation went on, the more I felt Emery’s frustration and feel bad for the guy…

[julesann]

I wish Ramit would’ve called her out more on this specific statement she repeated repetitively about “if Emory would get a job”. He does have a job. It’s belittling and condescending for her to continue to say that. He makes 3k a month which is not as much as her. But it is a job.

[corinardh]

If you want to have a happy life : stop comparing to your “friends, neighbors, colleagues…etc”
Lawn is greener on the other side

[tessjune]

So much focus on optimizing and contributing. It’s preventing them from being able to enjoy all of the blessings they ALREADY HAVE.

[medaliztrelles]

The resentment she feels is concerning. Glad they're talking to Ramit

[pejpm]

“The more assets you have, the better”

I’ve seen lots of people with even high incomes get into trouble with that attitude. I knew a guy earning $250k a year who owned 6 houses but had to take a loan for living expenses. He was trying to spin too many plates at the same time.

[Bynming]

I earn less than my wife and sometimes I feel bad about it, but I'm very glad that she never puts it in my face.

[Rosita]

46:00 I love how Ramit is adressing the real problem and confronting them in such a nice manner. It's very insightful. 🥰

[meganbaril]

She sounds like she has so much resentment about her husband's work or lack of it from her perspective. It bleeds through everything she says. It seems to affect everything in their life and marriage. It seems like such a hard marriage to be in. I feel sad for them.

[MoneyMindsetCoach]

Most people would love to make over $200, 000 a year. So many problems in this world. If they could just look at their situation from a distance they could look at it and say what in the world are we fighting about? We have it all!

[jazinc]

Guys, we get this podcast for free. Ads are annoying but they help keep this show free for us. I would gladly pay for this content but I love that he keeps this free for everyone to enjoy.

[rudeboyz]

Can we get the couples specific demographics in the intro again; Age, kids, married etc. Don't particularly care about the intro music good or bad but the brief demographics after the title screen are what helped set how relatable this couple is to our current scenario. Overall though love what you do Ramit keep it going!

[debbielockhart]

Her husband is doing a LOT that she should value. I am the breadwinner in my relationship (I'm gemale, he's male) and I couldn't care less about that. I am just happy if I come home and the bed is made. Anything he can do to take tasks off my plate is appreciated.

[Kozanne]

Glad you called out the hypocrisy of this situation around minute 40!!

[ib]

I’m empathize with Annie - being the sole breadwinner can feel isolating and burdensome. But I felt that this conversation really punished Emery for pointing out all the manual labor he does and how getting a full time job will be cancelled out by the money they would have to pay. Ramit immediately points out that “he can’t have it all” when he mentions this - but it’s Annie that doesn’t seem to see this. Annie is the dreamer that wants the rentals, the vacations, and a full dual income. Notice how the 50k salary for Emery is commented as a “good starting point”, continuously changing the goal post and needing him to bring in 100k. There isn’t a lot any talk about the actual money needed to live their rich life - it’s just about feeling “fair”

[EllieofAzeroth]

She's not approaching their marriage/finances as a team from this conversation, all she sees is that she makes more but doesn't seem interested in sharing that abundance. She doesn't have much capacity for empathy. It's a real problem when you can't empathize with your partner

[aprilstiek]

So she wants him to take care of the rentals, the home, the children, and earn as much as she does. Absolutely not possible. She’s unrealistic and resentful.