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MY TOXIC TRAIT...
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Why do we do this to ourselves?!? 🫣
Our attachment style plays a huge role in how we show up in our relationships… Including (and especially) during conflict and situations where we are feeling angry, hurt, and scared.
Very early on in life we developed behaviors that seemed to keep us safe in situations of threat… and we often bring these behaviors with us into our romantic relationships, because it is really all we know.
However, the issue is that these behaviors were developed out of a need to protect ourselves in situations when we were powerless and had no other ways of getting our needs met…
But the difference is… We are no longer children, no longer powerless, and therefore, no longer need to engage in these unproductive behaviors… because ultimately, they just end up pushing the people away, who we actually want to be closer to us.
Some of these behaviors include:
* Shutting down/isolating
* Lashing out/saying & doing hurtful things
* Saying things we don’t really mean (like to leave us alone when we are upset)
* People pleasing/self-betrayal
* And sometimes, a mixture of these things
Learning how to regulate our emotions in times of hurt and upset is one of the most powerful things we can do for ourselves, our partners, and our relationships.
When we can calm down enough to choose a different behavior when we are upset, we can practice this behavior, and overtime it becomes our new norm.
This new norm becomes a total game changer for the safety and connection of your relationship.
Keep in mind that all humans deeply crave to feel seen, heard, validated, accepted, and connected… But, none of these things are possible if we continue to push away when things get hard.
#drelizabethfedrick #relationshiptips #relationshipcoach #intimacycoach #intimacyexpert #emotionalregulation #healthyrelationships #intimacy #communication #healthylove #healthycommunication #communicationskills #conflictresolution #communicatewithconfidence #datingcoach #relationshipskills #communicatebetter #boundariesarehealthy #relationshiptips #relationshipadvice #relationshipcoaching #relationshiphelp #relationsihpproblems #relationshipgoals #loveisaction #actionsoverwords #wantsandneeds #partnershipgoals #toxicrelationships #datingcoach #datingadvice #singlelifeproblems #singlelifebelike #emotionalintimacy #emotionalmaturity
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Connect with Dr. Liz:
YouTube: @drelizabethfedrick
Disclaimer: Nothing found on Dr. Elizabeth Fedrick’s social media pages, YouTube channels, Podcasts, interviews with any media outlet, or any websites, is intended to substitute for any type of professional diagnosis or treatment, medical care, therapeutic service, or clinical guidance. Dr. Elizabeth Fedrick, Relatable, and Evolve Counseling & Behavioral Health Services assumes no liability, responsibility, or risk for any use of this information, any diagnosis, treatment, decisions made, or action taken in reliance upon information contained in social media pages, YouTube, Podcast, website, or any other internet sites linked to Dr. Elizabeth Fedrick, Relatable, and Evolve Counseling in any way.
Our attachment style plays a huge role in how we show up in our relationships… Including (and especially) during conflict and situations where we are feeling angry, hurt, and scared.
Very early on in life we developed behaviors that seemed to keep us safe in situations of threat… and we often bring these behaviors with us into our romantic relationships, because it is really all we know.
However, the issue is that these behaviors were developed out of a need to protect ourselves in situations when we were powerless and had no other ways of getting our needs met…
But the difference is… We are no longer children, no longer powerless, and therefore, no longer need to engage in these unproductive behaviors… because ultimately, they just end up pushing the people away, who we actually want to be closer to us.
Some of these behaviors include:
* Shutting down/isolating
* Lashing out/saying & doing hurtful things
* Saying things we don’t really mean (like to leave us alone when we are upset)
* People pleasing/self-betrayal
* And sometimes, a mixture of these things
Learning how to regulate our emotions in times of hurt and upset is one of the most powerful things we can do for ourselves, our partners, and our relationships.
When we can calm down enough to choose a different behavior when we are upset, we can practice this behavior, and overtime it becomes our new norm.
This new norm becomes a total game changer for the safety and connection of your relationship.
Keep in mind that all humans deeply crave to feel seen, heard, validated, accepted, and connected… But, none of these things are possible if we continue to push away when things get hard.
#drelizabethfedrick #relationshiptips #relationshipcoach #intimacycoach #intimacyexpert #emotionalregulation #healthyrelationships #intimacy #communication #healthylove #healthycommunication #communicationskills #conflictresolution #communicatewithconfidence #datingcoach #relationshipskills #communicatebetter #boundariesarehealthy #relationshiptips #relationshipadvice #relationshipcoaching #relationshiphelp #relationsihpproblems #relationshipgoals #loveisaction #actionsoverwords #wantsandneeds #partnershipgoals #toxicrelationships #datingcoach #datingadvice #singlelifeproblems #singlelifebelike #emotionalintimacy #emotionalmaturity
------
Connect with Dr. Liz:
YouTube: @drelizabethfedrick
Disclaimer: Nothing found on Dr. Elizabeth Fedrick’s social media pages, YouTube channels, Podcasts, interviews with any media outlet, or any websites, is intended to substitute for any type of professional diagnosis or treatment, medical care, therapeutic service, or clinical guidance. Dr. Elizabeth Fedrick, Relatable, and Evolve Counseling & Behavioral Health Services assumes no liability, responsibility, or risk for any use of this information, any diagnosis, treatment, decisions made, or action taken in reliance upon information contained in social media pages, YouTube, Podcast, website, or any other internet sites linked to Dr. Elizabeth Fedrick, Relatable, and Evolve Counseling in any way.
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