TOP 20 Groucho Marx Quotes

TOP 20 Groucho Marx Quotes.

“I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.”
— Groucho Marx (00:00)

“Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.”
— Groucho Marx (00:07)

“I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it.”
— Groucho Marx (00:14)

“Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.”
— Groucho Marx (00:21)

“Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today.”
— Groucho Marx (00:28)

“When you’re in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, ‘Damn, that was fun’.”
— Groucho Marx (00:35)

“I intend to live forever, or die trying.”
— Groucho Marx (00:42)

“Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.”
— Groucho Marx (00:49)

“The problem with doing nothing is that you never know when you’re finished.”
— Groucho Marx (00:56)

“There’s only two things you can start without a plan: a riot and a family, for everything else you need a plan.”
— Groucho Marx (01:03)

“A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.”
— Groucho Marx (01:10)

“No man goes before his time – unless the boss leaves early.”
— Groucho Marx (01:17)

“Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.”
— Groucho Marx (01:24)

“Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.”
— Groucho Marx (01:31)

“Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.”
— Groucho Marx (01:38)

“If you are not having fun you are doing something wrong.”
— Groucho Marx (01:45)

“Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.”
— Groucho Marx (01:52)

“Will you marry me? Do you have any money? Answer the second question first.”
— Groucho Marx (01:59)

“The Two Most Important Words In The World Are Honesty And Sincerity, If You Can Fake These You’ve Got It Made.”
— Groucho Marx (02:06)

“I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.”
— Groucho Marx (02:13)

Music credit: Easy Day - Kevin MacLeod