The two main types of avoidant discards

The two main types of avoidant discards are the abrupt discard and the slow fade discard.

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[AlpArslanTheSeljuk]

I love how he repeats himself on every video but we still watch it because we feel understood for the first time.

[EBB]

I was abruptly discarded last month. It's absolutely heartbreaking 💔 No one understands it until it happens to them

[rainbowcheung]

YES, I agree with you totally -- I am exhausted mentally and physically and it taking a toll in my health and I finally have nothing to give anymore ... finally even I do not want to break up but it MUST do it for my health is not worth the damaged!! THANK YOU SO MUCH for all your videos it is SO helpful for those people who need to better educated the attachment style!

[garyforbes]

I got the slow fade, bread crumbing, vague excuses, busy signal, etc, etc .... I ended it after about 5 months.

[VampyressVA]

Avoidants will mess with your health, both mental and physical. Steer clear...

[bocciclub]

My girlfriend discarded me with a simple message after 5 years of relationship. I felt that all the world is over my shoulders, with big pain in my heart. I tried to talk to her with messages back, whom she blocked me on. It takes time to move on. After 6 months I am still without any hearing from her side. Started following Coach Ryan and helped a lot with his videos.

[DanakuNakka]

The withdrawal is real. I'd always told her that the moment we are married, our happiness, sorrow and every emotion is tied together. She never grasped the depth of this statement. The abrupt discard led my body to develop shingles. Of course I've never had so much as a sorry, worse yet, I was criticized for this. Even when mentally I've been largely good, never stopped my physical activities nor my endless curiosity to learn more.

The withdrawal is real.

[catherineshelton]

I got the abrupt discard. We were talking on the phone, making plans to go out for dinner one minute, the next minute he abruptly hung up on me. What made it even worse was the breadcrumbs for several months afterward with him continuing to say we needed to take baby steps and would talk about it after the holidays. I didn't know he was seeing someone else during the same time he was doing the breadcrumbing.

[spiritwanderer]

i've experienced both kinds from my last ex. the slow fade breakup is the worst, it's like pulling all teeth slowly one by one, it's a mental and emotional torture. it would more humane to end it quickly. i couldn't take it anymore so I ended it, which I think was my ex's plan all along. that way i am the villain

[tredd]

What about a complete and total disappearance without a single word? When you're engaged. Yeah, with rings. It's worse than simple ghosting. How do we know they're not dead? We'd send the police for anyone else in our lives. It's no wonder we're so fucked up. Definition of PTSD.

[shadowjfd]

Can you make a video about why avoidants get triggered when stating boundaries to them? They get defensive and gaslight the person who wants to get treated better by them.

[petitcoeur-qr]

Mine suddenly stopped talking. I feel that the monkey branched to someone else and didn’t want to tell me. Yet they still don’t fully want to let go. I did ask if they wanted to see me again and they seem to just say yes. They slow faded me after a while. Then the crumbing started because I didn’t chase them as I to me it’s wasted effort. I confronted them again and asked if they wanted to see me and said yes again. So asked them when they are available to meet when I’m in the area where they are in (we were LDR). They haven responded to that question at all. They just have been evading with a question but I pushed back with the same question of when they want to meet up while I’m there. No response ever since.

They just want me around as a backup option and nothing else. They never loved me. If they wanted to they would. Clearly this is not the case. I’m starting NC again. It’s hard to do an often have had to try again and again.

It’s so callous that they can just get over someone so easily. It really does mean they never felt love for you. It was all a lie. The way they were with you at the beginning was a lie and a facade and a mask that they present to the world. The true version of themselves is the one that slow faded and discard us - cruel, uncaring, no empathy and no respect for others.

[HealingWithAndy]

Either one is brutal - I had both back to back over the last 8 months. As she did the slow fade sprinkled with periods of stonewalling. I asked her point blank what's going on because I felt our connection fading. She was attempting to make me the bad guy and break the marriage. When that didn't work, she employed the usual "I can't meet your needs" BS, which I attempted to work with her and open our communication because I loved her and I was committed to us. Then all it took was one criticism over a cocktail last month to make her go permanent stonewall, come up with a bunch of excuses why our marriage doesn't work, and file for divorce. You just can't win with these people.

[jacobcamerson]

Thank you so much. I did that abrupt breakup, but it’s bcuz I didn’t feel emotional intimacy from him, he was aloof n somewhat rigidy-judgy, maybe he felt shock n confusion.

[Dottore-bl]

How would you classify a breakup when the person who was slow-faded ends the relationship? After some conversations about whithdrawing and being "Busy" the other feels forced to end the realtionship and breaksup. Who is then the dumper?