5. Honor Your Father and Mother | 5 Minute Video

Even if You don’t Feel Like It

Children owe their parents one thing. And no, it's not love. The Fifth Commandment understands that sometimes it's difficult or even impossible to love your parents. But it's almost always possible to honor them. Dennis Prager explains what that means and why it's so important. And consider this: if your children see you honoring your parents they are much more likely to honor you.

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Script:

The Fifth of the Ten Commandments reads: "Honor your father and your mother."

This commandment is so important that it is one of the only commandments in the entire Bible that gives a reason for observing it: "That your days may be long in the land that the LORD your God is giving you."

Many people read that part of the Fifth Commandment as a reward. But while it may be regarded as a reward, the fact remains that it is a reason: If you build a society in which children honor their parents, your society will long survive. And the corollary is: A society in which children do not honor their parents is doomed to self-destruction.

In our time, this connection between honoring parents and maintaining civilization is not widely recognized. On the contrary, many of the best-educated parents do not believe that their children need to show them honor, since "honoring" implies an authority figure, and that is a status many modern parents reject. In addition, many parents seek to be loved, not honored, by their children. Yet, neither the Ten Commandments nor the Bible elsewhere commands us to love our parents. This is particularly striking given that the Bible commands us to love our neighbor, to love God, and to love the stranger.

The Bible understands that there will always be individuals who, for whatever reason, do not love a parent. Therefore, it does not demand what may be psychologically or emotionally impossible. But it does demand that we show honor to our parents. And it makes this demand only with regard to parents. There is no one else who the Bible commands us to honor.

So, then, why is honoring parents so important? Why does the Ten Commandments believe that society could not survive if this commandment were widely violated? One reason is that we, as children, need it. Parents may want to be honored -- and they should want to be -- but children need to honor parents. A father and a mother who are not honored are essentially adult peers of their children. They are not parents. No generation knows better than ours the terrible consequences of growing up without a father. Fatherless boys are far more likely to grow up and commit violent crime, mistreat women, and act out against society in every other way. Girls who do not have a father to honor -- and, hopefully, to love as well -- are more likely to seek the wrong men and to be promiscuous at an early age.

Second, honoring parents is how nearly all of us come to recognize that there is a moral authority above us to whom we are morally accountable. And without this, we cannot create or maintain a moral society. Of course, for the Ten Commandments, the ultimate moral authority is God, who is therefore higher than even our parents. But it is very difficult to come to honor God without having had a parent, especially a father, to honor. Sigmund Freud, the father of psychiatry and an atheist, theorized that one's attitude toward one's father largely shaped one's attitude toward God.

[gasman]

thanks mom and dad for all you did for me and I'm sorry for the mistakes that I have made and the pain that you have experienced in your heart and tears that have rolled from your eyes. I love you both. Thank you for giving me life.

[varunjohnson]

I felt guilty after watching this, and called my father after a month or so.

[indiag]

I’m an adult child of a narcissistic mother and as a Christian, I still try to honor her. I don’t go around trash talking her to people I know (well I guess I am here, but nobody here knows her) and I speak to her respectfully, but I do try to keep low contact because she is draining, exhausting and controlling. I have to pray often for the wisdom to now how to act and deal with her. (And also not act like her towards my children)

[henrypinder]

I am an atheist, but I admit there is a lot more to the ten commandments than I at first realized. I certainly agree that they are the bedrock of western society, and we owe a lot to christianity. I'm not quite there with the big man in the sky business, but whoever wrote the commandments was no fool. Thanks Dennis!

[Mike__G]

Something not mentioned in the video is that as a parent, you love your kids so much. No matter what. And you want to do good to and for them. When you’re dishonoured by them, the emotional pain is significant.

[yermum]

My dad sent this to me I really want to make sure he knows I love him

[fusionomni]

I honestly wish I honored my parents more. I was a very ungrateful and rebellious child. I didn't honor my parents in the way that I would have liked to now. I've grown to regret deeply that mistake, as it turns out many of the things my parents sought to teach me were very helpful. Parents are never perfect, but honoring them is more important than most come to know.

[Zephyeran]

This popped up as an ad for me.
I would like to state:
If your father or mother failed as a parent?
Whether that be by physically and verbally abusing and neglecting you as in my case
Or by full on abandoning you or any other number of abusive or hurtful tendencies?
You don't have to 'honor' them.
God will forgive you if you choose to distance yourself from hurtful people, even if they happen to be relatives.
Always remember that you choose your family, even if you can't choose your relatives. You don't have to speak to someone who hurt you. You don't have to love them or respect them.
That isn't to say that they should be abused in turn. Still turn the other cheek. But know that they have given up any rights they had to be in your life by abusing you to the point that you'd heavily consider such a choice.
Such a big choice is between you and God, of course, but it's important to hear that, as I grew up being abused most of my childhood, and after my parents divorced, my father's mother insisted I reconnect with the man who made me scared to come home, made heels clicking become a conditioned soothing sound because it meant mom was home and he wouldn't hurt me, made school be somewhere I wanted to stay because even without friends, it was better than being home with him.
She knew about this. About how he had, in fits of sober rage, attempted to kill me on at least 5 seperate occasions, and yet she still believed I should honor him by letting him back into my life.
And I did, for a brief few months, only to be blamed for something that was his fault, as he yelled at his girlfriend outside of the car, and said girlfriend's kids were understandably saddened, and he thought I had done something to make them sad, so he cornered me in the car to yell at me for an hour long drive.
Don't let this commandment put you in harm's way.

[Real-Imperfect]

I pray for my fam that relationships can be rebuilt ❤️🙏🏾

[malcolmtas]

I remember hearing a sermon by Michael Scott on the subject when I visited London in 1980. He pointed out that the commandment doesn't have a time limit on it. When you grow up, get married, and start a family of your own, your focus must be on them, but your duty to your parents never goes away. I'm now old enough to know this is correct. At the end of her life, my mother suffered with dementia, and I needed to first, take care of her, and then to arrange her nursing home care, as well as manage her finances. Now I see the same problem looming with my parents-in-law. Remember: one of these days you will need your own children to honour you.

[dannyb]

wow i needed this insight thank you
I'm going through a ruff time trying to love my parents right now

[CarlosMendoza-ojkv]

This video changed my life, my way of thinking towards mi Dad. Now I have peace. Thanks Prager.

[garnet]

I need to find my father and talk to him..

[ses]

“Give honor to whom honor is due” (One of Paul’s letters)

If the parent is abusive, absent, a murderer, a rapist, etc.
They do not in any aspect deserve honor.
Thank God for the NEW testament to clarify on that law.

[thetubemaniacify]

I repent of disrespecting my parents and I promise to honor them even if I feel they are wrong they gave me life and I will love them in Jesus name

[maogu]

It hurts so much because my parents are cruel. Very refinedly cruel. They oscilate between love and cruelty. And I can't honor them. I just can't, I can't find it in my heart, because if I honor this kind of cruelty, then my morals are worthless.

[LightYagami-uqed]

This is from God, no human could’ve made this up. It’s so beautiful

[marineninga]

Never understood this commandment till this video

[maxwell]

Thank you god for the best parents ever i love you and my parents Amen!🙏🙏🙏

[alancharlesstephens]

Failing miserably, failed spectacurly. Sorry Lord, so, so, so sorry Lord!