Dr. Phil Fawns Over Donald Trump

The Late Show has acquired additional footage from Dr. Phil's interview with the former president.

#Colbert #Comedy #ColdOpens

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[carlrosa]

Dr. Phil says two things on nearly EVERY SHOW - “The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior.” and “When you choose the behavior, you choose the consequence.” - He pounds that into everyone's brain. Every single member of his audience hears it. He says both phrases over and over again. When he sat down with Trump, he magically no longer believes in either philosophy.

[vcatta]

I was waiting for someone to do this! Fking brilliant 😂😂😂

[ygstuff]

"Called every name in the book" -- oh dear no, there are many, many names in that book and we've all only gotten to the table of contents.

[GodTierComments]

Dr. Phil is a monster, we've known this for some time now. Wait until the real stories come out about him.

[persuasivebarrier]

the media also tries to paint phil as a both a moderate and mediator. such a joke. tv personalities fawning over one another is what you're seeing here.

[TatankaTaylor]

FUN FACT: Dr. Phil's lawyers are going around YouTube trying to pull down videos pointing out his hypocrisy in that interview.

[duncanbryson]

How do you deal with that stress?
Well I've always found tomato ketchup very useful for stress relief.
😂

[Science]

"Turned the Judicial system against you"? Soft ball? That's plain suckholing.

[TroIIingThemSoftly]

NGL, that bark at the end really got me 😂😂

[annavizard]

One of the clowns in Oprah's rodeo of grifters. I never liked Dr.Phil or Dr.Oz. They are birds of a feather, as are all of Trump's minions.

[SoManyRandomRamblings]

The judicial system that has been constantly ignoring his crimes has somehow been turned against him?!?! 🙄 No, phil, the system finally stopped looking the other way...BIG difference.

[peterjonas]

"Dr." Phil. Failed, no longer practicing psychologist with a PhD.

[missrose]

Dr Phil looks like he's been dipping into what he's selling.

[somekatontheinternet]

Transcript is out -

Probation Officer: These photos. Is this your family and friends group? Answer carefully.

Convicted Felon Donald J. Trump: Yes, that’s Don Junior and Eric killing some Bigly game, look that’s an elephant.

PO: Are those guns? What’s wrong with his eyes? Yes, you probably need to avoid these people for a while.
CFDJT: Oh, I try.

PO: Is this Jared and Ivanka?
CFDJT: Yea, she’s hot, reminds me of that one hot witness. And that’s Jared.

PO: Well, this report says his father went to prison and that Jared is friends with someone called BoneSaw? Let’s avoid them too.
CFDJT: Well, they didn’t come to the trial anyway.

PO: And this photo?
CFDJT: Well, that’s the other one and the tall one. I don’t really know them.

PO: I see. This list here.

Known Associates.

Allen Weisslberg - CFO - 15 Felonies
Felon Michael Flynn - pled guilty twice -
Felon campaign chairman - Paul Manafort
Felon Rick Gates -campaign vice chairman
Felon Michael Cohen - personal lawyer
Felon Roger Stone - campaign aide
Felon Peter Navarro - White House aide - currently in prison
Felon George Papadoplous - campaign advisor
Felon Allen Weisselberg - back in prison for perjury
Felon Steve Bannon - reports to prison in July 2024
Felon Elliot Brody - vice chair of the inaugural committee
Felon Boris Epshteyn - Trump’s aide - pled guilty
Felon lawyer Kenneth Chesebro - pled guilty
Felony charged lawyer Jenna Ellis - pled guilty
Felony charged lawyer Sidney Powell - pled guilty
Felony charged White House aide Micheal Roman

Yea, you need to stay away from these people.

CFDJT: I’m definitely not gonna pay them, well, maybe Weisselberg.

PO: Speaking of money. These associates of yours seem to owe a lot of money on your behalf.

Rudy Giuliani - ordered to pay 148 million dollars
Richard Spencer - ordered to pay 25 million dollars
Mike Lindell - ordered to pay 5 million dollars
Alex Jones - ordered to pay 1.5 BILLION dollars
Donald Jr - banned from being a corporate officer - must pay 4 million
Eric - banned from being a corporate officer - must pay 4 million
Fox News must pay 787 million for defamation
Newsmax goes to trial for 1.6 Billion for defamation
OANN settled their defamation lawsuit

CFDJT: On my behalf? I NEVER got any of the money, much less half.
PO: Nevermind, just don’t associate with them.
CFDJT: Can I go?

PO: No, there is this group of people that have been indicted.
Lawyers John Eastman, Jeffery Clark and Christina Bobb have been indicted
Mark Meadows has been indicted

PO: Are there more?
CFDJT: Well if you want to count the 18 defendants in Georgia, or the ones in Arizona, Wisconsin, Michigan, Nevada, Pennsylvania, and New Mexico. But I don’t really know any of those people anyway.
PO: Not even your Chief of Staff? Just avoid them all.

CFDJT: If they are going to be witnesses against me, can I double their sala … microphone noises … what? Ok. I’ll stay away from them too.
PO: I see you owe your victims and the state a fair bit of money.

454 million to New York
83.3 million to E. Jean Carroll
5 million to E. Jean Carroll
100 million to defense attorneys
300, 000 pounds to Christopher Steele
10 thousand dollars for contempt of court
750, 000 dollars to DC from the Trump inaugural committee

Plus I understand you borrowed a fair amount of money to cover your bond. Do you have any prospects for successful employment?

CFDJT: Oh, I’m very successful, no one has been more successful than me.

PO: I see your job history here.

Trump Taj Majal - Bankrupt 1 billion dollars
Trump Castle - Bankrupt 338 million
Trump Plaza and Casino - Bankrupt 250 million
Trump Plaza Hotel - Bankrupt 550 million
Trump Hotels and Casinos Resorts Bankrupt - 1.8 billion
Trump Entertainment Resorts - Bankrupt 1.2 billion

CFDJT: Well, GOLF is more my thing. Nobody knows more about golf than me.

PO: Does that include these failed golf courses?

Scotland - Turnberry in Ayrshire
Scotland - Aberdeenshire
New York - Indian Hill
Bali - Trump (Nirwana)

Nevermind. Scotland doesn’t allow felons, so don’t go there.

Some of these other places don’t allow felons.

Argentina
Australia
Canada
China
Cuba
India
Iran
Israel
Japan
Kenya
Macau
New Zealand
South Africa
Taiwan
United Kingdom
Brazil
Cambodia
Chile
Dominican Republic
Egypt
Ethiopia
Hong Kong
Indonesia
Ireland
Malaysia
Mexico
Morocco
Nepal
Peru
Philippines
Singapore
South Korea
Tanzania
Tunisia
Turkey
Ukraine
United Arab Emirates

Don’t go there either.

CFDJT: I always say, America First.
PO: The USA doesn’t allow felons to come here either, so if you leave, keep that in mind.

CFDJT: I have the best mind. I have the most expertise. Can I go?
PO: I see you’ve been involved with a few other business failures.

Trump Shuttle
Trump Airlines
Trump Vodka
Trump Beverages
Trump University
Trump Mortgage
Go Trump Travel
Trump Steaks
The Trump Game
Trump Magazine
Trump-Net
Trump Tower Tampa
Trump Entrepreneur Initiative
Trump Fragrances
Trump Mattress

You probably should avoid working in these areas.

CFDJT: Big Business is rigged.

PO: What about non-profits, maybe you could work there. Let’s see.

The Trump Charitable Foundation was fined 2 million dollars for diverting funds away from kids with cancers.

Nevermind.

Are you asleep?

CFDJT: What? It’s cold in here.

PO: It says here you were fired from your last job. You lied about your replacement. You stole valuable documents and refused to give them back. You tried to get your assistant ‘hanged’? Is that correct? And you encouraged your friends to wipe their excrement on the walls where you were employed. Hmmm. And you think they should rehire you?

Don’t answer that.

[seffishestopal]

On the bright side, Justice Alito’s wife also got caught with secret recordings.

[RoxanneM-]

SCOTUS got caught with secret recordings! 👏👏👏👏

[andreaperry]

Some people join the cult with their eyes open and with ulterior motives.

[MeoithTheSecond]

Birds of the same feather stick together, Dr Phil shows his true colors.

[allenchurch]

Dr Phil was leading Trump's answers. That was very cringe-worthy to say the least. For a second, I thought Dr Phil was going to end up sitting in Trump's lap? Lmao 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[bc]

Donald Trump should be treated with the same respect he shows others