The absolute easiest ways to win an Olympic medal

As you gaze upon the Tokyo Olympics while covered in chip dust, it’s good to remember that you are gazing upon athletes who are all models of superhuman discipline and self-denial. Amid the Olympians who had to perform athletic miracles to secure a place on the podium, there’s a handful who obtained Olympic glory by warming a bench or by simply being the last competitor to fall down. #shouldbebetter #esbb

[Whitsundial]

Laurel Hubbard is a man competing in women's weightlifting class. That's how cheaters win.

[karlgaiser]

Yeah, the only easy way to win a gold is to play the trans-card and it only works if you are male.

[village_mayor]

The last strategy makes sense and should work for other nations. But Canada sucks so much that the tactic still doesn't get a "has been" past qualifying. Annie the skateboarder on Sunday used that tactic, but she sucked so much that she failed to qualify even though everyone else fell during the best of 5 tricks. Announcers couldn't say anything other than she was having fun and smiling...

[thebobloblawshow]

Transmission athletes will destroy professional sports.

[KowalskiVanishing_Point]

"As you gaze upon the Tokyo Olympics...."
Your first incorrect assumption.

[jmesg]

Decide to identify as a woman and keep playing your sport.

[fringeminority]

You never mentioned switching from a man to a woman. Being a man and competing against women is cheating and has ruined the olympics...

[guerillatactix]

Be a biological man, claim to be a woman, smash the world record.