Why Some Women Never Grow Up – Carl Jung’s Hidden Truth

Why do some women struggle to grow up emotionally, feeling stuck between youth and adulthood? In this video, we explore Carl Jung’s insights on the Puella Aeterna (The Eternal Girl)—a psychological archetype that reveals why some women resist maturity, remain emotionally dependent, or fear the responsibilities of adulthood.

Drawing from Jungian psychology, we discuss childhood overprotection, unresolved trauma, societal expectations, and the hidden fears that hold women back. This video is inspired by Jung’s theories, psychological analysis, and reflections on female maturity, self-awareness, and individuation.

📖 References & Influences:

Carl Jung’s theories on archetypes, individuation, and psychological development
Concepts of the Puella Aeterna and Puer Aeternus
Insights on emotional growth, cultural conditioning, and personal responsibility
Inspired by in-depth psychological discussions and modern applications of Jungian thought

[mac-bh]

Getting no guidance or advice from parents stunts emotional growth

[Key-Key]

Try being overprotected while being also isolated. So you can’t go anywhere, while you’re ALONE.

[menow]

What's sad for me is realizing I never really had a plan for my life. Maybe some vague visions of having comfort, health and security but no real plan. I'm still blessed at 73 but it's very haunting to see I didn't have a real plan.

[Bijewel]

I'm immature because I grew up with narcissistic neglectful parents and siblings, who were also immature and never could rely on them to do the right thing, so I had to be the emotionally controlled one, mature and picking up the pieces. As soon as I was free, I unleashed all of my repressed emotions and stopped caring about everyone else's emotions cause I missed out on it in childhood. Now it's become an emotional habit which I canf seem to break due to subconscious fear of having to always be the mature one again which didn't serve me at all.

[irismramor]

You can grow out of this. Believe me. It is a complex story, as always, when the difficulties pile up. It comes not only from overprotective families. it can come from under protective or really abusive families. When someone didn't have possibility to be child and play and be imperfect and really child, not small grown up, it can come to a need to compensate later with being a child and not so responsible as it came too soon !
Compensation for this kind of not having childhood at all. The growth trauma of different kind can make you into this type of compensation and self defense. You can grow out of it.

[E.DPsychology]

Sometimes, what we call “not growing up” is really someone stuck in a place where their emotional needs were never met. Jung reminds us that unresolved wounds often wear the mask of immaturity but beneath that is pain longing to be seen.

[wandaad]

It's not only overprotective parents that lead to Puer complex. It's also the opposite, parents that totally neglect the child's needs and leave it to be alone or do things herself while she is too young. Like the typical key-children who have the key to the house and come home alone because both parents are working. The parents expect the child to act like a grown up, to be independent, to attend to their own needs and regulate their own emotions when they are way too small to do this. It's frightening and it paralyzes the child. It ends up in a developmental arrest. Without trust and self esteem to move forward the child stays stuck in a dissociated, helpless state, terrified of what is expected. It's not that the child resists maturity, it just feels inadequate, incapable and clueless, because it was thrown in the deep that was too deep for the child's capacity. Maturity feels like she will drown.

[tessarae]

People who grew up with sheltering parents did not grow up with real support. It only appears like they had everything handed to them as this video suggests.

Most if not all parents who “shelter” their kids are actually VERY controlling individuals.

The painful truth is controlling parents are nearly as unavailable as absent ones because a controlling parents’ capacity to love and support their child depends on the child’s capacity to do and be exactly what they want. It comes at the cost of the child’s own intuition and self.

These parents can only love a reflection of themselves; the moment a child differentiates their own self from the parent they are punished.

If these children were *actually* supported, they would be able to make any decision and they would know it wouldn’t jeopardize their relationship with their parent.

The fear of loss of such a crucial connection, societal gaslighting claiming all parents DO love their children (not even questioning if some parents are even capable of love of the other) etc, all contribute to a child feeling bad or wrong for failing to please controlling parents who only want a carbon copy of their best parts. And make it so that such people never truly develop the capability of making their own decisions.

A parent who “shelters” their kid has a projection of what is good or bad for their child to experience and is controlling in nature.

If there was actual love and relationship between parent and child this dynamic would NEVER occur. That’s the only part that gets me; the unidimensional thinking that says “safety” creates this sort of psychology in a child/adult.

A child with controlling parents is never truly “safe” because they are never allowed to truly “be” as they are without the relationship being threatened. The solution is to establish actual safety and allow the child to establish a sense of self without it threatening the relationship with the parent.

[lilaah]

Sometimes people have a stable career, stable family etc. but when you get to know them you realize how emotionally codependent and immature they are. Maturity has to do with the quality of your mind and emotions more than with how your life looks like to an external observer.

[ReeyaAnnD]

Oh, my God, this is me !!! I thought I was the only one . I am about to make 32 years old but my mind and soul still is a little girl, and I have to constantly remind myself that I have to act and speak like an adult when in society . Because it is weird when I forget my age and talk like the " little girl" that I am . I feel so seen when I listen to this, I have tears in my eyes. It is a struggle!!!!

[latifa]

This was a hard pill to swallow but I had to face it. I'm constantly preforming when I know I'm being perceived and have always had this numbing fear of critizism. Just feeling like my life is stuck whilst everyone else grows up and moves on....I want to grow with them

[crinyx]

This was scarily accurate… I definitely see myself in this description. It’s painful, it feels like I’m a kid in an adult’s body, and every time I realize my age, it feels scary how quickly time has gone by and how I’m expected to be building a career and a family. That I’m going to lose my parents and the stability that I’ve always known. That I’ll have to expose myself in danger. Sometimes I like that I can have a more youthful side, and I do hope I keep part of it, but then I compare myself to my peers and feel like a failure…

[shh]

I intentionally act like I’m immature and innocent, and secretly becoming myself. Not going to show people who I really am until I can trust them…that’s my experience. Not even my family gotta know that much about me…

[infinitecanvastheartistsvoice]

April 9th. I’ll be 49.
Nearly half a century of being deeply, wildly me. A woman who was never meant to be caged, who has lived freely across the world, following the pull of wild landscapes and even wilder souls. I’ve always been drawn to raw nature, in the earth, in the elements, and in the men I’ve loved. That wildness speaks a language I understand without needing to translate.
Even now, as I approach 49, I feel astonishingly young. Not in the way of pretending to be who I was, but in the way of still dreaming. Still aching beautifully for something just out of reach, something eternal. I am, and always will be, a romantic. A seeker. A woman who believes in the poetry of existence.
Years ago, I had a near-death experience, 2015, a quiet but powerful reckoning. And in that sacred, liminal space, I was given a truth that still ripples through me: we are exactly who we are meant to be. Not someone else's idea of good, or right, or successful. Just us. Fully. Flawed. Glorious.
Since then, I’ve stopped trying to change myself to fit anything. Instead, I've leaned in. I’ve softened to the woman I am, every scar, every flame, every contradiction. I’ve let go of needing to be "better." I've embraced simply being.
Now, I’m a painter. I live tucked away in rural Greece, surrounded by olive trees and the long exhale of the Aegean sky. I’m with my husband, a quiet chapter in a very wild book. But I’m still searching. Always searching. For kin, for friendship, for souls, women, men, who understand this kind of nature. Who live from the heart, from instinct, from deep truth.
I won’t ever change. Not really. What I’ve done is learn to love all the parts of me I once thought I had to fix. And that, in the end, is the real journey.
So, here's to 49. To dreams that don’t age. To wild hearts that never settle. And to the art of becoming more ourselves, year after year.

[naturallybecoming]

Yeah idk why I feel so unsafe and anxious. Definitely don’t feel like I’m truly an adult always afraid to be my authentic self and struggle to gather my independence. I’m hoping I can get this confidence I need to reassure myself

[VS]

Anxiety disorders prolong this process unfortunately, since taking on challenges to grow isn’t just a matter of courage. Your body & nervous system feel debilitating, making the smallest action seem impossible.

[xxsnow_angelxx]

the fact we always want a partner or a woman that can be a mentor always by our side for the smallest steps. Even if its a hobby or a mundane chore, shows that we look for validation and not totally mature emotionally.

[Marlenkaminta]

Most women brought up according to traditional patriarchal gender roles struggle with that sooner or later, since those roles are set out to keep them in a submissive, easily influenced, childlike state, that makes them an easy target for unhealthy people later on. Many never wake up to their own individuality, identify their own needs, and face their own emotions and live their own life. The other tragic thing is that not all parents want the best for their children. That is just not true. Many use their children for their own gratification. A very interesting and complex topic, thanks for sharing.

[kantik]

Being mature means being ready to break free from societal, family conditioning to be your authentic self, protecting your gifts, your scars and your energy. And being able to fully stand in that power to protect it.
And with power come consequences: you must be able to be accountable to yourself, know your values and self reflect (the most difficult part).
Everyone wants to be a diamond until pressure comes in.

[jar]

ADHD? I'm surprised I don't see this in the comments. Many of these symptoms are symptoms of ADHD, like rejection sensitivity, difficulty maintaining friendships, overwhelmed, procrastinating, avoidance. I consider myself emotionally mature but I have a hard time moving my life forward and meeting society's expectations. I've handed over my independence, but not due to trauma, because my prefrontal cortex is different.